In the End

I steal a glance at Carth from my place in front of the galaxy map. The dreamy pilot of the Ebon Hawk takes no notice of me, and that's good. I'm not up for a flirting contest. After all, Mission is in the same room, and I'd have to put up with the constant coplaining, teasing and questioning.

Not that I usually care if she was whining her head off. I'm just under a lot of stress. I mean, you would be too if you had to put up with the revelation that you were an evil Sith Lord, the Jedi princess, a kid with a big mouth, and an old man talking your ear off. Oh, and I forgot to mention a Cathar with anger issues... ugh! I mean, seriously! She could ease up just a bit with her constant screams of "I WILL BE YOUR DOOM!!"

Then I find out that the Cathar 'cares for me.' Sure I'd been nice to her, but the way she said it, it was a little steep. And she'd been hitting on me before she told me. I'm sorry, but it's just strange when you find out one of your friends is gay.

And then, of course, Carth told me that he hated me for killing off his planet and all, but we made out... I mean up, so we're good.

Oh, and then Jolee tells me this story about Malak and Revan and that they supposedly had a kid!?! Great, now I have to go looking for my child that I can't even remember. He was probably even one of the Sith apprentices that I killed on my journey. Doesn't that make a great newspaper headline?

REVAN REDEEMED AND SAVES REPUBLIC! OH! AND SHE KILLED HER KID WHILE SHE WAS AT IT!!

Horrible.

Not that I've saved the galaxy yet. Its a work in progress! In fact, I'm on my way now. That's why I'm stealing glances at the pilot. It may be the last time I see him again.

Everyone is counting on me.

Dodonna.

Vandar.

The Republic.

The galaxy.

Carth.

Revan was a great strategist. Revan could do anything. But I'm not Revan anymore. I'm not anybody important, I'm just someone in the wrong place at the wrong time.

How am I supposed to kill the man 'I' once loved? How am I going to live with the fact that I may possibly have killed my own child? How am I going to turn my best friend back to the light side? And how am I going to have a life with the handsome man in the orange jacket?

How?

Carth comes over to me and puts his arms around me. He's silent, an that's ok. Actions speak louder than words.

"We're approaching the Star Forge," he says over the pilot intercom. He sits back in his seat and I take my place in the copilot's seat.

The cockpit is soon crowded with all the members of my crew. Juhani purrs softly and rubs my arm with a furry hand. I get up, assign Mission as copilot, and stand by Carth.

"Canderous!" I say.

"Yeah?" he replies gruffly.

"Get in the turrets! We're gonna have a hundred plus Sith fighters coming after us!"

"The more, the merrier," the Mandalorian says cheerfully before jogging off to the turret access.

There is a jolt as Carth suddenly veers to the right to avoid a Republic Hammerhead-Class ship dropping out of hyperspace.

"Good reflexes," I say with a flirtatious smile.

He smiles sweetly. Butterflies invade my stomach.

I swear, I'd have more success in battling fifty Sith Lords single handedly than telling this man exactly how much I love him. Indescribable.

At least I don't have to worry about whether he loves me or not. Like I said earlier, we settled that back on Lehon.

But enough about the past, the future is what I should be worried about.

Carth expertly maneuvers the Hawk into one of the many hangars of the Star Forge. The crew prepares for battle, but I'm already prepared. I've been prepared for my whole life.

Rancor comes up to me and looks up hopefully. I smile and scratch him behind the nubs that pass for his ears, and he coos happily. The little gizka was somehow unnoticed by Nubassa when the Selkath came aboard to round up the critters. The crew of the Ebon Hawk had grown attached to the animal, especially Mission.

Rancor hops away and I unclip my lightsaber from my belt. Carth comes into the main hold and grasps my hands. We don't need to say anything to know what we're thinking. He leans down and kisses me lightly. More butterflies.

"Kick butt for me," he says.

I smile. "I'll give Malak a 'what up' for you," I reply.

"Thanks."

"No problem."

I turn and start down the loading ramp. Carth stops me. "I'll be waiting."

I nod and keep walking.

"And, Revan?"

I stop and turn.

"I love you."

"I know... I love you too, more than you can know."

He rushes down the loadng ramp and kisses me deeply. I cling to him, not wanting to let go, but knowing that I must.

"Keep a weathered eye on the horizon," he whispers in my ear.

I nod. For better or worse, this would be the end.