For Her Own Good
As usual, this is a non voting entry as it would be unfair for the person who came up with the topic to be eligible to win. Comments and critiques are certainly welcome and appreciated though.
Thick, tense silence shrouded the opulent Courscanti penthouse study as Ja’Taren Allonis Revan studied the three Jedi sitting across from him.
As a rule, Ja’Taren had no use for the Jedi. They were overrated meddlers in galactic markets and economies that they simply did not understand. The few times he’d run across them in the creation of his corporate empire, they had cost him a small fortune due to their judgmental interference.
When they’d approached him as a young man over 40 years ago and offered him training, he’d merely laughed and told them he had better things to do that join a useless religious order. When they’d approached him years later, offering to take his son for training, he’d been insulted that they’d think he’d just hand over his only child. And when they’d approached him two years ago about his only grandchild, he’d nearly had them physically thrown out of his penthouse.
And now they were here by his request. Which was why it was not surprising when the small green Jedi that called himself Master Vandar finally broke the hostile silence and said, “Your comm call came as a shock. The last time you were here you made yourself very clear that you would not allow us to train Minuet.”
Ja’Taren steepled his long brown fingers. “Things have changed since then.”
Vrook, the Jedi Master who wore what looked like a perpetually sour expression on his face, grumbled, “I bet they have.”
Before Ja’Taren could snap a response that would put that sanctimonious bastard in his place, Master Zhar spoke. “It would help if we understood what has happened with your granddaughter to change your mind, especially if we decide to take her for training.”
Ja’Taren almost laughed out loud at the ‘if.’ The Jedi had been tripping over themselves to get their powerful force sensitive bloodline in their Order for three generations. Between that and his immense money and power that would make him a beneficial ally, he didn't believe for one minute that they would deny his granddaughter.
“Minuet has always been a handful, but over the last few years she has grown out of control in her behavior. She has been kicked out of the most exclusive boarding schools on both Alderaan and Courscant. The ones that remain cannot be persuaded to take her no matter how much money I offer.” He shook his head. “It’s as though she finds out what the rules are and systematically breaks every single one of them. I’m fairly certain that instead of hiding her misconduct, she goes out of her way to make sure she gets caught.”
Minuet was so calculated in her troublemaking that he would have almost been proud of her craftiness if the last four times hadn’t cost him key business deals. She had an uncanny knack of finding out the worst possible moment to pull him away from his business affairs with another outrageous stunt that demanded his immediate attention.
“A cry for attention, then?” Vandar asked, his pointy green ears unfurling thoughtfully.
“Most likely,” Ja’Taren agreed. “My son is…” a disappointment, a loser, a waste of space, “a junkie that would rather spend all of his time shooting up and racing speeders. My daughter in law won’t even take the time out of her social schedule to spend ten minutes with the girl.” He sighed. “And I run a corporate empire that spans across thirty five star systems. I don’t have the time to spend with her that I should.”
Vrook’s bushy eyebrows bunched together. “So now you want us to clean up your mess? Why should we take this child that’s been a menace to other institutions? Why would we want to subject our peaceful Order to that?”
“Are you afraid of one little girl?” Ja’Taren snarled, temper fraying. “I thought that the power of the almighty Force was greater than star carriers, global economies and governments – anything us mere mortals could ever hope to achieve.”
Vandar opened his three fingered hand in a conciliatory gesture. “It is true that it is very powerful. That is why we must be very careful who we take for training.”
Zhar’s annoyingly kind and pitying eyes glossed over as he stared up a cabinet on the balcony above. “She is… full of much anger and hatred.”
“And what happens if you don’t?” Ja’Taren pointed out. “You’ve told me before that she’s one of the most powerful force sensitives you’d ever seen. What if the Sith find her when she’s older and use that anger and hatred for themselves?” From the looks on Zhar’s and Vandar’s faces, he knew he’d scored a major point. “You can make sure that doesn’t happen by training her yourselves.”
Unmistakable sorrow twisted Zhar’s face. “There is no guarantee that won’t happen. Many of our Order have fallen in the past.”
“But the odds would be in her favor, right?” When they didn’t answer he figured that they were merely dragging this out because, like everyone else in the galaxy, they wanted money. He handed a datapad to Vandar, and it was satisfying to watch his eyes widen when he saw the amount of credits listed. “Look, if money is what you want…”
Vrook snatched the pad away from his fellow master and thrust it back at Ja’Taren. “The Jedi do not take bribes.”
And for the first time, Ja’Taren realized that the people who were the last chance for his granddaughter might actually deny him. “Then what the hell do you people want? Do you want me to beg?” He ground his teeth, pride making his voice rise. “I know that I’ve made some terrible mistakes in the past, but this is my last chance to make sure she doesn’t grow up as a brainless twit or a useless junkie or worse. You people are supposed to have compassion, dammit!”
The Jedi did not answer and Ja’Taren couldn’t tell if they were stunned into silence or if the rumors about their telepathic abilities were true and they were talking amongst themselves.
Finally, just as Ja’Taren was about to call security and have the whole sorry, judgmental lot tossed out of his penthouse, Vrook spoke. “It is important for you to understand that the Jedi are not some kind of day camp or boarding school for your convenience where you will come and retrieve your granddaughter from when you feel like it. It is a lifelong commitment.”
“You don’t force your members to stay do you?” Ja’Taren shot back.
“Well, no.” Vrook admitted.
“Alright then. When she comes of age she can choose. You will have had eleven years to convince her to stay.”
Vrook glared at him, but the other two Jedi conceded his point with a nod. Vandar added, “It is most likely that you will not be permitted to see her. Attachments to familial relationships are discouraged. Whether or not you get to see her would be the decision of whichever Jedi master takes her as their padawan.”
That didn’t bother Ja’Taren. He would just have to make sure that she got a master that would decide in his favor. Besides, she was still a minor, and if he ended up not being able to rig the system, he’d simply pull her out of the Order.
They took his silence as assent. Zhar continued, “What about her parents? They won’t object to you handing their daughter over to us?”
Ja’Taren’s voice was hard and cold from the shame of his own failure to raise his son as a decent man. “No. The only reason they brought Minuet into this world was because I threatened to cut them off if they didn't provide me with an heir. Once I made it clear that their monthly allowances will only continue if I get my way, their feeble attempts at objecting ceased. In truth, they will be relieved to have her taken off of their hands.”
The three Jedi looked at one another. It appeared that Vandar spoke for all of them. “In that case, we will take your granddaughter in for training.”
At the same moment Ja’Taren let out a relieved sigh, a high pitched sob came from the balcony above. There was a crash as Minuet darted out from behind the cabinet on the balcony above, knocking over a flower shaped lamp as she ran from the room.
Swearing, Ja’Taren rushed for the door, followed by the Jedi. He paused in the hallway wondering which way she’d gone when the twi’lek master nodded to the left.
“You knew that she was up there listening this whole time, didn’t you?” he spat. Servants scrambled out of their way as they marched down the hallway.
Zhar at least had the grace to look shamefaced. Vrook didn't look even remotely guilty as he answered, “We thought since she was the one under discussion, she had a right to listen.”
“Right. It had nothing to do with you using this as a wedge between us, you arrogant bastards.”
Zhar held his hands up. “I assure you, that was not our intention.”
Furious, Ja’Taren nearly barked into his comm for the security staff to toss the Jedi out of his house when another spectacular crash came from up ahead. Dismay hit him in the gut as he stepped into the grand foyer that housed his priceless art collection. Irreplaceable antiques were scratched and dented. A beautiful bust of the first Queen of Naboo lay shattered in pieces on the floor. And Minuet had taken up one of the antique vibroblades and was slicing up a moss paining cultivated by a long deceased Alderaanian artist.
“Minuet, put that down right now!” he demanded, as he mentally calculated the millions she’d cost him in less than two minutes.
Through near hysterical sobs and tears she screeched, “No!”
Terrified that she’d hurt herself or anymore of his art, he stepped forward, grabbed the hilt, and wrenched it out of her hand. He laid the blade out of her reach before turning back to his granddaughter.
He took another step towards her. “Minuet...”
“You gave me away again,” she said, swiping a hand across her tear streaked face.
He put her hands on her small, trembling shoulders. “I didn’t give you away. This won’t be forever, just until you come of age.”
“I don’t want to go. I want to stay here with you.” She swallowed. “If you let me stay, I’ll be good this time, I swear.”
Ja’Taren took her hand and led her over to a bench away from the Jedi. “This is the best thing for you.”
“You’re mad about the money I cost you. That’s why you’re sending me away.”
He shook his head, wondering where she’d gotten that idea. “No, sweetling. I’m not mad.”
“Then I don’t understand.” She looked so small and sad that it nearly killed him when she asked, “Why don’t you want to keep me?”
His voice became thick. Ja’Taren had faced down senators, planetary governments, labor unions, and gangsters, but he couldn’t help but feel powerless and lost when dealing with this little ten year old girl. Fumbling for the words that would make her understand, he said, “Minuet… I… I am not a good parent. I made so many mistakes with your father that you’ve had to pay for. I don’t even know how to begin to take care of you the way you deserve.” He gestured over at the Jedi. “But they do. They can take care of you in a way that I can’t. Teach you how to use your special abilities.”
“But I don’t want to be a Jedi.”
“I’m glad then.” He dug his handkerchief out of his tunic and began to dry the tears off of her face. “Because you’re not going to be one. You’re going to run my empire with me.”
The hope shining on her face twisted his heart, “I could do that now.”
“I work fourteen hour days. I travel across the galaxy and I can't take you along on every business dealing I have. You need a stability, education and training, so that when I when I give you your empire, you will be ready.”
“But-”
“Minuet, the decision has already been made. You’re going.”
She didn’t say anything as her shoulders slumped in defeat. He didn’t need the empathic powers of the Jedi to know she felt hurt and betrayed. It was written all over her small face.
He cleared his throat and said, “Let’s go up to your room and pack, okay?”
“That won’t be necessary," Master Vandar said. “We will provide everything for her at the temple. It would be best if she left all her personal belongings behind."
He was about to protest over the ridiculousness of that request when he realized that Minuet, who he’d expected to throw a tantrum over that, was simply staring at the floor in silence. For the first time he became worried. He’d never seen her this quiet and resigned before.
“We should go,” Vandar said to Minuet. “Say your goodbyes now.”
Ja’Taren bent down to give her a hug, and instead of clinging and crying as she usually did, she just stood in numb silence. He hugged her anyway and kissed the top of her head.
“Be good, Minuet. Make me proud.”
She looked up at him one last, silent time as though she hoped at any moment he’d change his mind. Instead, Zhar’s took her hand led her down the corridor to the turbo lift. It was with a mixture of guilt and relief that he watched the turbolift shut behind her.
He stood alone in thoughtful silence for a long time telling himself that she might be hurt and angry with him now, but someday she’d understand why he’d made this decision. When he handed her a corporate empire, Minuet would forgive him and realize that this choice was for her own good.

I enjoyed this a lot. Praises that should have been said sooner.
First I feel I must appologies for not commenting on any of your writings earlier, you see I'm one of those hidden faces out there that enjoyes well written fanfiction very, very much but since I'm not much of a writer at all and even worse take ages to write simple comments I usually never review the things I enjoy. That being said I read most of yours and many other people's stories out there and enjoy them far more then I can put down in words.
Oh well on to the story at hand, first thing that comes to mind is that I can see now why the Revan in your Kotor story never liked her parents much, even if I think her grandfather is somewhat bad with children as well. Also much as I like how you write Revan I think I enjoy her grandfather even more or at least just as much. I would give much to read how a meeting between him and a older Revan once she made Jedi or even after coming back to them. :)
Another thing I like how you write the Jedi and especially Vrook, I feel some people don't do him justice since the only time we saw him in the first game was in the presence of Revan where he did lose his temper.. quite a lot and therefor writes him of as only arogant and angry and not a very good Jedi master. Your Vrook however does seem to fit his Master role and I can see why he is on the council even if he would probobly be better of taking a break from being a Jedi and go out in the world every now and then ;)
Oh and I must say I somewhat think it's a good thing Ja’Taren never took up the Jedi training, something tells me he wouldn't have made a very good Jedi.
Yay for coming out and
Yay for coming out and commenting. I would encourage you to do it more if you can find the time. Authors love comments and feedback (whether negative or positive) as it's the only way we know that people are out there reading our stuff. Plus letting authors know what works or what doesn't is an excellent learning tool.
Ja'Taren is a character I created a long time ago for my post kotor story that I never even remotely got finished. I ended up playing him in a kotor roleplay, which is where he's kind of taken life. There's actually going to be a post in the future (that's a flashback really) of him talking to an adult Revan. If it stands alone enough from the events of the roleplay, I'll post it here as a one shot.
(And I think you're right about Ja'Taren being a terrible Jedi if he'd ever trained. Kinda like his granddaughter who I think is probably one of the worst Jedi ever lol.)
I really enjoyed this.
I really enjoyed this. Usually we see stories with Revan already with the Jedi or hear things about her parents giving her to the Order, but never one with her grandfather. It's a unique twist that I liked.
If the Exile were hard of hearing...
Atton: "Mical's a spy!"
Exile: "Mical has pie?! Where?!"
Oooh. I can tell that you
Oooh. I can tell that you really had fun writing this. I like that Ja'Taren has real concern for his granddaughter. We see this kind of story a lot, but often it's this melodramatic, "my parents hate me and don't want me, nobody understands. Woe is me" deal that's over the top and unrealistic. I think by having it in the grandfather's point of view did a real service to show that he was a living, breathing human being and not just some horrible jerk that's going to shove her off on the Jedi.
Heh, you know, this is an
Heh, you know, this is an idea that's been cooking in my mind for over a year and I've probably written at least three other aborted attempts that I never finished. They were all from different points of view (one from kid Malak, one from kid Revan, a couple from the Jedi masters) and I don't think I got beyond a page with any of them. When I finally switched to the grandfather's pov, it finally clicked into place. I wish I could say it was because I realized the above was the reason (I think you're right about that - the others were way too wanky or judgmental against the grandfather), but I don't think I did beyond "eh, this isn't working but I don't know why."
What I love about this is
What I love about this is how damaged Min is. It's obvious she has problems, her whole family has problems, and it's obvious she and her grandfather both know that and are at the end of their ropes dealing with them. There's no villian here, just a bunch of sents making the best of things. Very much like life.
I really like this piece. You would have had my vote, had such a thing been possible.
I love the idea of a rich
I love the idea of a rich business magnate who has no use for the Jedi except as an exclusive boarding school. In the heyday of the Republic, I totally buy that there were families like this.
The combination of his pride and his knowledge of his own failure gives him a lot of complexity. I don't know if you meant it this way, but it struck me as a really strong parallel to Revan's (and especially your Revan's) later life--the way she leaves the people she loves for their own good with that same mixture of pride and self-blaming.
Carth + Bastila = OTP.
Revan and her grandfather
Revan and her grandfather having similar personality quirks and flaws was intentional on my part (I mean, he did raise her until she was ten and they do share the same gene pool), but the events mirroring each other the way that they do was entirely unconscious.
Strange that two of my
Strange that two of my favourite pieces from this DCC involve Vrook....and he's the character I disliked the most in KotOr. Maybe it's good to get a different view of a character. But the, I also like the quiet moments that drive all the action later on. I really enjoyed this!
"If I love you, what business is it of yours?" - Goethe
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Great Entry Though It Has a Few Factual Flaws
By which I mean canon and by canon I don't mean the Revan's gender debate. I'll touch on those "flaws" later but first I want to talk about what I did like - which was a lot.
As usual you've done a great job at putting us in the character's heads and balancing them out. Commonly the characters in your stories are not one-dimensional or even two-dimensional. They have many, many aspects to them just like real people and its the characters you create that bring the story to life.
In this story you did that, not just with Revan or even with her grandfather (a great character BTW) as well. You also captured Vrook (and Zhar to a lesser degree) through the so-little bits you saw. Vrook was so clearly the grumpy old principle figure we love to hate, but he clearly also had legitimate concerns as well as a sort of sardonic, perhaps even amused, tone as to the Ja'Taren's change of mind. I love that.
Most of all of course I loved the grandfather and I can't help but agree with the others that it would be really interesting to see him in a later fic, either at the end of Revan's training, after her fall, or before she disappears to the Unknown Regions. After all, if he was so important to her its doubtless that she would have at some point returned to see him again - unless he died of course before she could return.
Now... about the factual flaws. There's only a few but I, as an amateur historian of the Star Wars universe who has a notoriously good memory for details, couldn't help but be distracted by them. In such cases Wookieepedia is your friend ;).
First of all, Naboo wasn't colonized by the time of KOTOR, let alone did it have a queen. Sure, the Gungans existed there, but it wasn't until about 30 years after KOTOR that the first colony ships from Grizmallt left for Naboo. I often notice that many mistakenly assume Naboo was colonized by this point and, frankly, I don't understand why so many people are interested in exploring it during the Sith era due to the general distaste for Gungans (although I actually like the species, though Jar Jar of course inspires my heart to burn with hatred).
Secondly, and less importantly, the entire premise of the story, though I love it, is flawed if you take Kreia (as Revan's master) to be an authority on Revan's past. From what Kreia said nobody knew where Revan came from. And considering she was Revan's most important mentor it seemed she'd have known otherwise. Here's the quote in question:
However, other than those two bits I really found little wrong with the story and was more than pleased with it. Again, feel free to write a follow-up to this story - it demanded it.
Thanks for your comments,
Thanks for your comments, Nivenus. As usual they're very helpful and greatly appreciated.
I have to admit that I didn't realize that about Naboo (although now that I think about it, I think someone commented on a similar reference a couple years ago in another one of my stories). The only reason I picked it was because it was a quick and easy visual for most readers (we all know what Queen Amidala looked like with the face paint and crazy hair), but next time I'll do a bit more research and pick something else.
As far as Kreia being an authority on Revan's past, I admit that's something I take or leave pretty much as I feel like. For one thing, I started writing a year before the second game and had a pretty clear backstory for where Revan came from including her parents and grandfather even way back then (even though I'd never written a short about it). I didn't really feel the need to change it because 1) it was a really minor point about Revan, 2) the fact that Kreia lies a lot so you can never tell if she's telling you is actually true or just her own screwed up perception of reality and 3) I can't stand 90% of what the K2 writers did to Revan (omg she's really a savior and just misunderstood!) so I intentionally ignore it. But I can see how that might bother people who like to stick to canon more closely and I think it's an entirely valid comment to make.
Heart-wrenchingly beautiful.
I, like so many others, loved the idea of her grandfather being the one to "give her away." I saw the reason behind his actions, but also felt for Minuet (nice name). Spectacular.
"...I, like God, do not play with dice and do not believe in coincidences." - V, from V for Vendetta