Eye of the Shadow - Pt. 3 - Ringside

Later that same evening

His spartan apartment held few comforts. A single bed, rarely made. A small food preparation area, hardly used. A low workbench, showing signs of heavy ware. The figure hunched over the table sat mumbling to himself as his fingers and tools deftly worked away on a small object.

'okay...reroute this circuit...umm, no that won't do it....now, maybe I can....' Just the usual mutterings of any mechanic as he talks with himself about his delicate task. After a several hours of focus, his attentions to the outside world had ceased. But there was always that little something extra in the brain....

The ceiling panel pulled back in utter silence. She had managed that skill ages ago. Slinking into and out of residences was a perennial part of the job. She could see the target hunched over his workbench oblivious to the fate that awaited him. Death seemed to ooze into the room unnoticed along with the skillful assassin. As she leaned into the room, she eased her pistol into position. Her Arakyd blaster was a bit old, but it had earned her quite a reputation. It was a relatively short-ranged weapon, but for a kill that was no more than 6 meters away, a rifle would be a bit much. Having yet to make a sound, she sighted her weapon.

'hmmm...that interface looks wrong... I wonder if I can slide it...well, maybe not...' His entire body went rigid. The danger was close, but he did not know its origin. He just barely caught the gentle exhale that comes before a well-aimed shot. His body flexed then sprang vertically spinning so that his eyes could take in the scene while at the same time creating surprise and shock. Having only one eye in place left him with a modest deficit in depth perception, but he had certainly learned to cope.

She was frozen in amazement as she maintained her crouch at the exposed end of her crawl space. He moved with incredible speed as he leaped upward. Before her mind had registered an action or reaction, she was staring into a flaming blue eye and lifeless cybernetic socket. As his momentum dissipated at the top end of his jump, he had decided what he was going to do. Upon returning to the floor, Yagr grabbed the nearest tool and flung it at the assailant. She instinctively held up an arm to shield her face, and the plasma drill bit impaled itself into her forearm. As she cried out in shock and disorientation, the reputable assassin lost her balance and crashed to the floor. An acrobatic roll allowed her to come out of the fall in the blink of an eye on her feet and ready for action. Her target was standing just a few feet in front of her simply waiting for her next move and watching intently as she raised her blaster to take aim yet again. The elegant movement of his arms, legs, and torso were almost hypnotic. She was mesmerized for the fraction of a second that it took her target to span the distance between them. As he paused almost directly beside her, she swung the blaster at his head in a backhand move. He grabbed her arm almost casually and with a squeeze that sent blinding shards of pain coursing through her arm and upper chest. She dropped to the floor with her forearm still firmly in his grasp. He spun around to his left and tossed her helpless body across the room. Her combat armor absorbed some of the force but the head-first reunion with the floor put her out of commission.

She regained consciousness finding herself sitting in a straight-backed chair still holding her blaster in her right hand. As her senses came back on line, she noticed the warm pressure of a fingertip on the back of her neck.

'Ok, Selven, you know the routine. I ask you who hired you, you fire back with a few expletives. I encourage you to spill it with a bit of physical torture, toss you around some more...it is a little late in the day and I don't want to miss the evening's activities. So, could you just tell me who hired you the first time I ask, then I won't have to drive my finger through your brain stem and then have a mess to clean up.' He pushed with his finger just enough for the bounty hunter to understand that she was dead already.

'I don't even know who you are...I was sent a message, told me where to find you. Don't even know who sent the message, but I was promised 5,000 if I succeeded.'

'Ok, you can go.' He removed his finger and stepped back several paces.

'What?!?' The woman was shocked. 'So, you shoot me in the back as I walk out the door?'

'I have no need to kill you. There are plenty of others who will take the opportunity. You have told me what I want to know.'

Selven stood cautiously and faced her captor. He stared at her with a placid look on his face that he might use when telling a street vendor that he was not interested in their trinkets. No fear, no anger, no....nothing. She took two steps backward then turned and fled the apartment in panic.

Yagr now alone with his thoughts dropped to the floor in a heap. His entire life had been a manufactured event from the beginning to this very moment. He had never been anything but a tool. A device. A well-trained biotic sentinel for those too lofty to get their hands dirty. And now that the enemy might steal away their creation, it was time to dispose of it.

Calling to the corners of his empty room, Yagr groaned, 'I don't know where you are Draay... but I will dig you out of your slimy whole and send you back to the force that spawned your wretched hide.'


After nearly an hour of doing nothing but lying on the permacrete floor in thought, finally Yagr rose, changed his clothes into something average and ordinary, and headed for the evening duels. The evening's card was rather bland. As he found his seat, he overheard the two men in front of him discussing Duncan's latest embarrassment.

'Why does he keep going out there? How pathetic.' The other nodded in agreement. 'But, wow, did you see the sweetheart that buried him tonight.' The speaker paused to see if the other was on the same hormonal page. 'Nah.. got here too late.' The first speaker continued. 'Oh, stars, she was amazing. Sweet curves, sweet moves, like nothing I have ever seen.' The second replied cynically, 'Jep, you think every woman is amazing....aaaaaand pining for you to scoop her up into your arms.' 'No, no, this woman was different. Something real special about how she moved and fought. Like it was born into her or something.'

Yagr looked down at the datapad to look over the schedule of earlier fights. Duncan was supposed to have fought a tradoshan named Yisshyk. As he scratched his head, the announcer called out the next match. Yagr shrugged... Gerlon is not exactly the kind of fighter that you pay to go see, but who is the 'Mysterious Stranger'? What a ridiculous pseudonym. After a moment or two letting his mind chew on that thought, Yagr physically smacked himself in the head. Oh, Yeah... Public

The fight was shockingly quick. Gerlon was not the most notable warrior, but he rarely dropped that fast to a vibroblade. Not bad. Across the arena, Canderous Ordo entered and found a seat on the top row.

After two more fights with little to hold any interest, the announcer called out yet another match involving the Mysterious Stranger. Yagr looked across at Ordo and found him staring straight back. The Mandalorian had spotted him in the crowd some time during the last fight. Yagr nodded indicating to Ordo that this was the one to watch closely. Ice was a beautiful woman to watch which explains why the arena had filled to capacity in the few minutes before her match, but she was easily as skillful as she was beautiful. This would be a good match.

The anonymous fighter opened the match with a concussion grenade and a diving roll to the right. She came up firing her blaster with devastating effects. Ice drew her blade and charged across the battlespace. She didn't make it half-way to her opposition.

This is amazing, nobody has yet to just pop on the scene and start knocking off the regulars around here. Yagr made a small move to his left eye and fiddled with his cybernetic implant. As he pulled his hand away, he revealed a device in the socket that was a pale blue that pulsated a faint purplish glow. A low humming sound came from his implant as he evaluated the newcomer in the center of the arena. After a few moments, Yagr stood up with uncharacteristic abruptness, and bolted for the door.


Down on the battlefloor, the mysterious stranger spun around without apparent reason and began scanning the crowd noticing nothing unusual except for a spectator hurrying for the door.


As he fled the arena, his mind spinning from the revelation he had just received, Yagr did not notice the squat, square-chested man in front of him. As Yagr collided with the man, they both fell backwards a few steps. Looking up, Yagr spit out 'Nord' much like he would say if he had stepped in something unpleasant.

'I simply don't have time for you, Nord.' The nefarious bounty-hunter was known for his ruthless and thorough work in his occupation, but did not inspire much fear in the fleeing Yagr. No one still living knew of any bounties that Nord had failed to collect; he was a persistent bugger. As he regained his footing, Calo Nord aimed his blaster at Yagr while holding a detonator in his free hand. Yagr did not appear to be anything but a peaceable, Tarisian merchant, weaponless and off-guard.

'You're gonna make time.' Came the gravely response. 'This won't take long, I promise.' Nord had stepped back towards the exit that Yagr was attempting to reach and tossed his detonator in Yagr's direction. Yagr snatched the device out of the air and with just a few moves with his fingers, dropped the disassembled pieces to the floor. 'You need to buy better products, Nord, the Exchange is giving you junk.' Nord began the predictable move to aim his blaster at Yagr, but Yagr's booted foot met the center of Nord's chest before he could squeeze off his shot.

Yagr completed his exit pausing long enough to comment, 'You were right, Nord, that didn't take long. Thanks.' Then scampering off into the night.

Always watching, always waiting... what's next? Now that it is time to get busy doing something, I feel like I don't know how. Ok, the Exchange is after me, Sith are looking for me... and the Tower... where is the exit to this stage, I don't want to be in this play anymore....I gotta get closer to that woman, she is the key.....for all of us

Aside from the use of the word "scampering" to describe Yagr (somehow I doubt he "scampers" anywhere, hehe), this was another enjoyable chapter.

So many mysteries still, things to find out, thoughts that suggest things unexplained. Yagr's an enigma; maybe leftovers from the war, one of Revan's? The 'Public's? Hm.

Yagr made a small move to his left eye and fiddled with his cybernetic implant. As he pulled his hand away, he revealed a device in the socket that was a pale blue that pulsated a faint purplish glow. A low humming sound came from his implant as he evaluated the newcomer in the center of the arena. After a few moments, Yagr stood up with uncharacteristic abruptness, and bolted for the door.

Something about this passage strikes me. I don't know why, but it just works so well!

I like the use of Selvan and Nord, as well.

Good writing, good job. ;)

An interesting chapter, setting up some nice danger for our mysterious hero. What is this Tower he mentions? Whose tool is he? And I'm guessing he's Force sensitive? You're building the mystery around Yagr nicely and I'm interested in your plot.

A few points of criticism. First, be careful of homonyms (you have ware where I think you mean wear, and whole for hole). Such are the dangers of spell check. :)

Second, consider the environment: you established that Yagr was sitting at his workbench, but you have him spring up vertically from a sitting position and turn himself around one hundred and eighty degrees in mid air, then land easily and attack Selven with a tool. Aside from the fact that I'm somewhat skeptical he could achieve this move from a sitting position (maybe from a crouch?), what happened to his chair? How did it get out of the way?

Similarly, if Calo Nord is far enough away that he'd risk throwing a thermal detonator, how did Yagr get close enough to plant a foot in Nord's chest before he got off a single blaster shot?

Finally, sometimes your action sequences feel a little OOC for the established game characters. For example:

"Her target was standing just a few feet in front of her simply waiting for her next move and watching intently as she raised her blaster to take aim yet again. The elegant movement of his arms, legs, and torso were almost hypnotic. She was mesmerized for the fraction of a second that it took her target to span the distance between them."

Selven's a trained assassin, and one who is good enough to have gained a reputation. I wonder if a trained assassin would be mesmerized, even for a second, by the elegant movements of someone rushing, over a very short distance, to attack her? I could see her being taken aback by how fast he moves, though, and having that account for her lapse.

The interrogation for her is, I feel, also over fairly quickly. If she doesn't know who he is, why would she believe he has the power to actually drive a finger into her brain stem? That's not something an average person could manage, even a merc or local thug, and she's a tough chick (or acts like one) in the game--I feel she would be fairly skeptical of this claim and likely need some convincing.

Despite my nagging ;), I do feel this is an entertaining story, which so far has a good pace and a strong sense of forward motion. I can't wait to see where it goes. :)

on the same hormonal page
Very funny.

You've got some nice subtlety going on. It seems like Yagr might recognize who Revan is and that Revan might be able to sense his presence.

Yagr spit out "Nord" much like he would say if he had stepped in something unpleasant
That is a great description.

Dear old Calo, I do love it when you get smacked around, and not only because your last name can translate into a direction. Killing Calo is and remains my best game moments... heh, and Yarg isn't exactly one for giving him time.

Figures it took a Revan to scare him... That small sequence where she senses him (and yes, I am all giddy when it's a Female Revan. Non-canon as it is.)

Canderous taking an interest was a nice touch.

^^

That's all the time I have for now. Homework awaits >_

I kinda like that, Calo comes up with his super killing plan; Yagr deflects it and scampers off. Heh.

So, hmmm, does he know who that is? I think so...but there are so mnay questions...guess I have to keep reading. :)

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