Strong Bonds; Chapter 2

Strong Bonds; Chapter 2

The Ebon Hawk was submerged in a tunnel of whirling stars, as it raced away from Dantooine, and away from all that Whinter Averrod loved and cherished. She had told herself over and over that it was for the best, and that she had done all she could for them and now she must allow them to grow and flourish on their own. But in the end she knew that she was doing it for herself, she was doing it because she did not want to watch them fade like the others, and she did not want to hurt them like she had the others.

Switching on the autopilot, she retreated into the cargo bay, the only place where the memories did not overwhelm her and threaten to stop her from doing what had to be done. She sat against the empty crates, closed her eyes and melted into the force around her.

They appeared as they always did, webs of light that interconnected her to everyone she knew. Once before Malachore, the lines had been faint and indefinable, but now they were white hot. The connections were strong, and through them, she could feel her friends' confusion and their worry for her.

Pain and guilt roiled angrily within her stomach, but she did not heed it. Instead she grabbed hold of the bonds and prepared to sever herself from them. For a brief moment, as she drove into the bonds, she felt her friends' understanding. They knew what she was doing, and with that epiphany came a range of sadness, grief, loss, and fury. The fury was so strong it burnt red within its host, and Whin was struck with the realization that it was Atton's fury and rage. She had betrayed him, and she had hurt him, but still she could not turn back, and so she ripped herself free from them.

As she did so, the world exploded into white hot pain. She screamed into the empty room, her eyes snapped open and she took in a gasp of air. Then there was nothing. No life, no force, nothing but the hum of the engines and the panting of her own breath. It was as if she had suddenly been blinded. The galaxy that had once been so filled with color and light was now nothing but frightening darkness. She wanted to call out to Atton, to feel his warm arms around her comforting her and telling her that everything was going to be all right, but he too was gone, lost to the utter nothingness that surrounded her. She had willingly disconnected herself from him and the entire universe, and now she was alone and she was vulnerable.

Whin felt a tear fall from her eye. She had felt this emptiness before, and it was not foreign to her. She had hoped that she would never feel it again, but here she was, an Exile once more.

(~)

Twenty three year old Whinter Averrod felt nothing. There was no emotion left in her, she was numb to the world, and she was devoid of the Force. How this had happened she could not tell, nor did she really want to think about it. She had witnessed so much death and destruction that she almost didn't care what happened to her now.

Still she could not put her finger on her reason for returning to the Jedi. Perhaps it was because it was all that she truly knew, maybe it was because of Kavar, or she just needed to know that they were not the uncaring monsters that condemned the republic to its doom, or maybe she just wanted them to understand why she had left. No matter the reason she now sat outside the council chamber, awaiting sentencing for a sin she did not believe she had made. She felt no remorse for leaving to fight in the war, on the contrary she was so set in her decision that she would do it all over again if given the choice. No, she had not come because she was sorry.

If the council could not see their error, than perhaps she didn't want to be a Jedi. She did not want to be a part of the flawed system that could not even examine itself and question its own errors, without first blaming others.

The door to the chamber opened, and Whinter knew that her time to be judged had come. She picked up her lightsaber, and strolled confidently into the chamber. The eyes of all the Masters were upon her. She looked around, staring into each of their faces bravely, until her eyes met Kavar's. He stared back for a moment, and then averted his eyes.

This evoked Whinter's first emotion of the day, sadness. She had been very good friends with Kavar, seeing him made her realize what she had lost. She regretted hurting him, and for a moment almost felt guilty for her decision. But then the council began to lay down their judgment, and her regret and sadness turned into anger then fury then rage. They would not even listen to her story, would hear none of her pain and loss, their only objective here was to make themselves feel better about their decision and to punish her for her 'sins' against the council!

'Exile!' she wanted to screech,' you will isolate me for asserting my independence, for helping those in need. For following your teachings!' but her rage did not come out as words. Instead she ignited her lightsaber and before the council could stop her, she thrust the violate blade into the stone pillar before her and stormed out of the chamber.

Before she left she took one last glance at Kavar, and thought she saw a tear glisten in his blue eyes, she did not turn back, but stormed away getting as much distance between her and the council as she possibly could!

(~)

Whinter fell asleep crying. She had betrayed Kavar, and now she had betrayed Atton. But there was no turning back. If Revan was out there somewhere, she was going to find her and bring her back. Outside, in the confines of space, stars and solar systems still whirled past, as the Ebon Hawk shot towards the Twin suns of Tatooine.

(~)

Atton Rand had locked the door, allowing no one to approach. He could feel the others' concern, and their own sadness at the loss. Whinter Averrod was gone; she had literally ripped herself out of their lives, leaving behind a group of very distressed Jedi. No one knew where to look, or how to find her. She was nothing now but void in their hearts, and there was nothing anyone could do about it.

Atton was mad with anger. The others had tried to comfort him, had tried to tell him that she would return, but Atton would hear nothing of it. He was sickened by their pity and their sadness. What right did they have to presume they knew what he was going through? She had betrayed his trust and his love, and had left him alone and angry, and he hated her for that, almost as much as he hated himself for not predicting what she would do.

Now he sat alone in his quarters, replaying the message she had left them. Her image wavered before him, her raven hair was tied up, her green eyes looked out at him sorrowfully, and when she spoke her voice was gruff with emotion, 'Forgive me my friends, but I must leave you now...'

She took a shaky breath, and then seemed to gather herself together before continuing, 'None of you need me any longer, you have become Jedi Knights in your own right, and you are no longer in need of a Master. Now I need you to stay on Dantooine, and to begin rebuilding the Jedi. More force sensitives will come to you soon, and the Jedi will begin to gather again, you must be here to see that they prepare for the coming darkness. Please, do not search for me, I must go and fulfill a promise, and I must do it alone. I can only hope that we will meet again, but if not, I leave you with all of my love and best wishes. May the Force be with you.'

Atton banged his fist angrily against the wall. She had said nothing to him, had not even acknowledged his existence. In a rush of anger he ignited his viridian lightsaber and slashed through the consul. The thing exploded in flash of light, throwing sparks across the room and smoke clouds into the air. Through the force he picked up the pieces and threw them against the walls, smashing them into a million pieces. He heard his friends' distressed calls as they tried to push through the locked door.

A calm presence entered into his mind, trying to sooth his raging emotions, but he flung it aside almost effortlessly. He didn't care what anyone said, he was going after Whin, and he wasn't going to let anyone stand in his way.

Turning toward the door he used the force to fling it open and then with a surge of energy sent a line of force-lightning directly at his awaiting friends. The screams that followed were lost to the crackling of blue power, and the distinctive whine of a lightsaber igniting.