Path of the Exile: Prelude Series

Way of the Guardian: Chapter 1

'You know I do not approve of this.'

Within the confines of her chambers, Jedi Master Quatra sat comfortably at her private desk. The long day of trials among the young apprentices and Padawans within the Dantooine Enclave had drained their worth from the young woman, to the point where she was now ready to take off her robes, take a long soothing shower to wash the dirt and sweat from her brown skin and long, dark hair, and then collapse upon her bed. The demands of the Academy were not always so taxing, but the recent inrush of new hopefuls into the Jedi Order had begun to take its toll on all of the Masters that oversaw training.

And, unfortunately, before she had been able to bring a much desired end to her exhaustive day, a call had reached her upon her personal receiver within her room.

The small and translucent figure of Master Kavar now stood upon the holopad on Quatra's desk, looking upon the young woman as she sat within her lounging chair, her left arm resting upon the armrest and supporting her head as she looked back upon the man with exhausted, and somewhat annoyed eyes.

'I am sorry that this is getting laid upon you, Master Quatra,' Kavar responded, his voice being a bit too casual sounding for being apologetic. 'But you must understand, this arrangement was not something we had originally planned, yet we feel it to be the best course of action at the moment.'

Quatra eyed the man skeptically, not feeling that she was being told every reason for this sudden arrangement. 'I have heard of these two, Master Kavar. One is a young girl who is said to be of Echani decent. From what I have heard, her teachers say she has the making of a great Historian about her, enough so that they have already given unto her the rank of Knight, and that they do not think it long before she will achieve the rank of Master herself. Quite remarkable for one so young.'

'Yes... Atris...' Kavar responded, his voice hinting at being unsettled by Quatra's remarks. 'We've had few hopefuls of Echani decent over the last few decades, and she is proving to be quite talented among the lot, and quite focused upon her studies. You can expect little in the ways of problems with her. She has been sent by her Master to study the ancient ruins and grove upon Dantooine, and to report back here on Coruscant as soon as her studies are completed.'

'And the Padawan accompanying her here...' Master Quatra quickly followed up. 'Am I correct in assuming that it is the young boy that some of the Masters have been discussing about; the one that Master Vandar found upon the streets of Coruscant?'

'I see word still travels fast within the Order,' Master Kavar noted almost humorously. 'He has only been among our number for a few short years.'

'Long enough for the masters to take notice of his... unique skills,' the young woman responded. 'Yet I still do not approve of any Padawan, even one training to be a Guardian, being given the role of bodyguard for another, especially at such a critical and headstrong age.'

'I'll admit I have my reservations as well,' Kavar let out a heavy sigh as he spoke, seeming a bit disheartened by what he was going to say. 'Quite frankly... we've been having a lot trouble finding the proper place for him, all aspects considered.'

Having heard enough of the discussions about the Padawan, Quatra could imagine the conflicts brought about due to his strange gifts. And the fact that the Council had decided to keep him in the dark about why he has been passed frequently from one set of hands to the next has undoubtedly made things complicated for him and everyone around him.

'Otherwise, is he proving to be difficult to deal with?'

'In terms of being responsible, no,' Kavar clarified. 'He's very good at listening to those who listen to him and he completes his daily exercises and studies as efficiently as one can expect. Though he seems to have only average affinity in use of the Force, he has shown to have remarkable ability and understanding in melee combat, though we've tried to discourage his enthusiasm for such training, not to much avail. Personality-wise, he is serious when the need occurs, though commonly he has a flare for being sarcastic and easy-going so expect to see it.'

'I wonder where he could have picked up such traits,' Quatra asked in a suggestive tone as she shot Kavar an accusing stare.

'Anyways,' Kavar continued as if not noticing Master Quatra's response, 'as I am sure you can guess, his... unique situation has lead to problems and concerns about the other Padawans here, and any Master that has attempted to take him on as an Apprentice... well... suffice to say that the Council here feels I am too close to him as it is.'

Quatra was still unsure as to the motive behind this whole arrangement. 'And by having him serve as the Echani girl's personal bodyguard while here, what exactly is it the Council hopes to gain?'

'Understanding, Master Quatra,' Kavar answered.

Realizing that this was probably the clearest answer that she was going to receive, the young woman let out a light sigh of acceptance. It was not as if she had much choice in the matter. 'I will devote what time I can to acting as his Master while he is here, Master Kavar, but please understand that I have an entire Enclave full of young hopefuls that require most of my time and concentration, and if he is to be answering directly to me, than most likely he will take part in the activities of his fellow Padawans.'

'Atris' studies on the ruins should only take within the span of a week, Master Quatra,' Kavar clarified, understanding the concern the young woman was facing. 'In such a small time span, it is very doubtful that he will have any strong affect among the other Padawans, so I would not worry about it.'

'And the other Enclave Masters... I'm sure that you and Atris' Master have their support in this little... experiment...'

Turning his eyes aside for a moment, Kavar mumbled his words as with little assurance. 'More or less...'

Quatra lightly laughed behind an amused smile at the man's rather reserved response. Knowing the other Masters of the Enclave as well as she did, the young woman had a good estimate of with whom the apparent complications laid. With some of the more... conservative Masters on Dantooine, such things as new methods and ideas were not often welcomed with open-mindedness. And, unfortunately, such perceptions undoubtedly left many with a dim view towards this rather unique Padawan. Meaning that, more than likely, Quatra would find herself on the receiving end of a few lectures on how to properly guide the young boy; another frustration to add to the long list she already had.

'This is not meant to cause you or anyone else aggravation,' Kavar remarked upon noticing the young woman rubbing the tenseness upon her forehead. 'Just keep him busy when he is not attending to Atris. Pop in on him at least twice a day, and make note of any strange behavior you may observe in him, or those around him.'

Lightly closing her eyes, the young woman let out a heavy sigh. With as much energy as she needed to devote to all others, the Master was unsure if she would have enough left to manage such attention. She was tired and drained, and had been considering bringing her case for more help before the council as it already stood.

'Please Quatra...'

The young woman brought her sight back upon the figure of Kavar, the man's expression and voice having become warm and compassionate, as Quatra remembered him commonly being when the pair were young companions training together. 'I'm asking for your help, as an old friend. I... we have tried repeatedly to lead the boy properly, but... it is difficult when there is so much we do not understand about him...'

Quatra was about to respond by restating her doubts in the scheme, but it had been so long since Kavar had talked to her in such a way, not as a fellow Jedi Master, but a friend, and as such, she found herself responding as a friend.

'Alright Kavar, I will do what I can.'

An appreciative smile formed on the man's lips as he bowed his head. 'Thank you, Quatra. They should be arriving on Dantooine within the week. Please get some rest now...'

'One last thing,' Quatra quickly added as Kavar was about to end the transmission. 'What was the Padawan's name?'

'His name...? Oh... I suppose I haven't mentioned it... he goes by-'

* * *

'-Kai!'

The young Padawan awoke with a startle as he quickly lifted his torso up. Rapidly he blinked his eyes as they began to contract to make up for the bright light that had suddenly made its way into the sleeping quarters, effectively blinding him for several moments. Soon they began to focus upon the blurred figure in white robes that stood over him, and even before they managed to give him a clear image, Kai begrudgingly knew whom it was, dropping his head back down on his pillow and placing his arm over his face to block out the light.

His words came out in an irritated murmur. 'What do you want, Atris?'

The young woman looked down upon the groggy boy with frustration shooting at him from her eyes. 'You need to get up, Lugo!'

'What for...'

'It is not good practice to sleep this long! You do not need it!'

'Do I need it? No...' Kai responded as he ripped the pillow from behind his head and placed it over his face. 'Am I going to anyways...that is the real question...'

Atris did not but continue to stare down at Kai in frustration, finding the Padawan's constant wise-ass responses were starting to aggravate her more and more with each one he made. And he did make a lot of them in the time they have known each other...

Perhaps it was solely for the sake of revenge, or perhaps it was because she believed Lugo in need of a lesson in discipline, the young girl was not sure. Atris truly did not care the reason as she raised an open hand towards the resting Kai.

The young Guardian suddenly started to wriggle violently like a fish out of water as he found the pillow now being pressed down hard on his face. He tried to yell out in protest, but Atris was only able to make out those yells as muffled noises as she continued to stand there with her arm held out before her, not exactly smiling as she made Kai squirm like a animal stuck in a trap. But she was not glaring anymore either...

After Kai had rolled out of his bunk and had fallen onto the floor, still wrestling with the pillow, the Echani girl finally decided that the lesson had been learned, and lowered her arm.

Violently ripping the cushion away from his face, Kai coughed heavily as he took in very deep breaths. After a moment longer to regain at least some composure, the young Jedi looked up from where he sat scrounged up on the ground at the girl standing over him, now with his eyes glaring in anger, to which Atris passed off as not noticing.

With a mocking smile and just as mocking a tone, Kai spoke very pointedly towards her. 'How may I help you...Atris?'

'We're about to land.'

'Land? Land where?'

'We've made it to Dantooine, Kai.'

'Already?'

Kai could not help but be surprised. To him it seemed like it had only been at most a day since they had left from Alderaan in what had been projected as being a three day trip. But than again he was not used to space travel as he had rarely left Coruscant since joining the Order and never before then.

Perhaps he has been sleeping a little too much...

And he had a right to be tired, damnit! Originally Master Kavar and Atris' Master had provided them with passage straight to Dantooine from Coruscant, but just as they had been boarding the shuttle, the young Historian had received a message from her Master, whom had decided for them that it would be no trouble if they instead went to Alderaan first to pick up some needed records to bring back with them from their trip. Atris, whom Master Kavar had explained would be 'leading' this expedition, had decided to leave Kai with the responsibility of finding a shuttle to Alderaan, rebooking their departures, and carrying along any and all luggage they had brought with them, including when they had finally departed from Alderaan to Dantooine. Needless to say that when they had finally climbed aboard the freighter heading towards their intended destination, Lugo wasted no time in finding his bunk and collapsing on it.

For the most part the owner of the vessel had left his unexpected passengers to their own for the whole trip, but his son Casus and younger daughter Rahasia had been constant in popping their heads around the corners of the ship to spy on the pair of fascinating Jedi. Keeping those two energetic younglings entertained and away from Atris while she went about her studies had been the other half of the reason Kai was sleeping the whole trip.

Speaking of which, as Kai finally brought himself to his feet, straightening out his robes and rewrapping his ponytail, he spotted the pair of children out of the corner of his eye over Atris' shoulder, once again spying upon them with fascinated eyes.

Kai smirked humorously at the sight while Atris, whom had noticed Lugo's gaze and followed it to its target, remained indifferent.

'Master Kai, Master Atris,' young Casus called out as he came out from around the corner, his little sister in step behind him, 'my father says we will be landing at the Jedi Enclave within three minutes. And to tell you that we won't be able to see you out, as we will be needing to fly to our estate as soon as you two are on the ground.'

'We are not Masters, young one,' Atris quickly and sternly replied, visibly putting the young boy on edge. Standing behind her, Kai rolled his eyes in ridicule. Why the hell was it so damned important to her to correct a sever-year-old? Even little Rahasia visibly tightened at the sound of the Historian's voice.

Atris, being the tightwad Kai knew her to be, did not show any response to the fear her tone and words had placed into the children standing before her.

'M-my apologies...Miss... Jedi, uh...Lady,' Casus mumbled out, unsure of himself.

'Don't worry about it, Casus,' Kai quickly responded with a warm smile as he stepped out in front of Atris and kneeled down to bring himself eye-level with the young boy and his sister. 'Please be sure to give your father our thanks for being kind enough to give us a much-needed lift here. And thanks to both of you for being such kind and welcoming hosts to us.'

All it took was the sound of a kind and appreciative voice for the two children to smile once again.

'I'm afraid we do not have much in terms of a parting gift...' the raven-haired teenager muttered with a sigh as he turned his eyes downwards in a shamed manner, but then bringing them back up as if an idea just popped into his head. 'But wait...!'

Young Casus watched with curious eyes as the Jedi's right hand came out towards him slowly, making its way over to lightly tap on the outside of the pocket of the child's jacket.

'My Force powers... are telling me that something has materialized in there as a present for you two...' As he spoke with an almost uncertain voice, Lugo's eyes became very tense as if he were concentrating very hard on the jacket's pocket.

The two children looked almost awestruck by the drama of the Jedi's words and expression, feeling that something very mystical was happening then. Without hesitation, Casus' small hand dived into his pocket, anxious to see if something actually had appeared in there.

Sure enough he found something, and quickly yanked it out to see, with Rahasia looming over his side. Both children eyed the small plastique item with fascination. A cred stick!

'Ah yes...' Lugo went on to say, nodding his head as if it all made sense. 'The Force is telling me that there are about twenty credits on it for the both of you, and that it is the Force's will that you use that money to buy yourselves some sweets, whatever kind you prefer, of course. And also... if by chance these sweets lead to any cavities or sugar rushes, you are not to tell your father where you acquired the money from... for to do so would have dire consequences for the galaxy... do you understand?'

Still partly mesmerized by the phenomenon of what had just happened, the two children quickly broke into teeth-full smiles with little Rahasia seeming barely able to control her excitement. Casus however kept himself a bit more in control, barely, as he bowed to Kai. 'We will do as the Force wishes, Mr. Kai. And please say thank you to it on our behalf.'

'I will,' Lugo assured the young boy with one last smile, 'now go back to your father now and stay by his side till you get home. And farewell to you, Casus, and you too, Rahasia.'

With one last bow of goodbye from the both of them, young Casus and Rahasia disappeared around the corner of the sleeping quarters once again.

Rising back up, the young Guardian stretched out his arms a bit as he turned around to face Atris, still feeling the cramps of just waking up throughout his body. He found that the Echani girl's expression met his with almost a resentful disposition.

'What?' Kai muttered with a slight chuckle. "It was just a few leftover credits from my stipend..."

'It is those exact same pick pocketing skills you flaunt, Kai, that make you still more of a thief than a Jedi,' Atris responded in a sort of matter-of-fact tone, as if there was no intended insult behind it.

Unbelievable, Kai thought to himself, it has been more than three years, and still she called him a thief! He had apologized at least a dozen times since when he had stolen her lightsaber from her on that day on Coruscant so long ago, yet from the way she continued to bring it up like this made Kai wonder whether Atris would ever forgive him for apparently having stolen some small piece of her pride as well.

Before Lugo got the chance to make his own perceptive remarks to the Historian, the ship suddenly shifted as the suspension prods touched down, signaling that they had finally landed at their destination. Without missing a beat, Atris proceeded to walk past the young Guardian before he could get even a word in. 'Do not forget to bring the luggage with you on your way out.'

With that said, the teenage girl disappeared beyond Kai's sight, leaving the raven-haired Jedi gritting his teeth in aggravation. The whole trip she had been treating him with little more decency than one gives to a servant droid, telling him to carry her luggage, fetch her meals, prepare their travel arrangements, all the while she occupied herself with her studies, keeping her nose between the pages of some old tomes she had brought with her.

Slowly closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, Kai reminded himself that his companion was born of a Echani noble family, and that such was likely responsible for her utter snobbishness. Even more so, the young Padawan reminded himself that currently, and he had absolute surety of this from Master Kavar, she was in charge of him while they were on this little voyage together, and it would undoubtedly come back to bite him if he said anything... uncivilized to her.

Shaking his head to clear his thoughts, Kai straightened himself up and left the sleeping quarters to go fetch their baggage. Even though this was his first time off world, the young Guardian was not looking forward to the next week of his life.

Not in the least...

This is looking awesome! There are not enough stories out there that have Atris as one of the main characters. You could definately turn this into a bit of a romance later on.
Please continue!

Good work on a young Atris and Exile. It was nice to see a young Casus & Rahasia into the story as well. Can't wait for the next chapter to come out!

I like it

I remember from one of your previous fic's...think No.7 in the main arc...we get see something to the effect of "Atris had always been difficult". It's amusing to finally see where he could get that impression. It's certainly a well deserved one. I feel like Atris' upbringing and personality just never prepared her for someone like Kai, especially when she probably likes and even envies him. It's almost like her only way of showing affection is being the snot-nosed noble. What's interesting is she almost never seems to actually be annoyed, rather she's just doing it to poor Kai.

I'm sorry to say that I had to cheat and use google to remember the Casus and Rahasia bit...in anycase, I think they make a really excellent addition to the story, though it's less the fact that it's Casus/Rahasia and more about the differences between the two Jedi's reactions.

Rising back up, the young Guardian stretched out his arms a bit as he turned around to face Atris, still feeling the cramps of just waking up throughout his body. He found that the Echani girl's expression met his with almost a resentful disposition.

"What?" Kai muttered with a slight chuckle. "It was just a few leftover credits from my stipend..."

"It is those exact same pick pocketing skills you flaunt, Kai, that make you still more of a thief than a Jedi," Atris responded in a sort of matter-of-fact tone, as if there was no intended insult behind it.

I think that's what really makes me think that Atris envies Kai, even at this early age. Sure his powers/skills probably aren't all that impressive ATM, but he's just so much more personable and (apparently) happy. People get along with him and I think Atris knows this. Now, I could be totally off base here, but even if I am, the fact that your fic' is read in-between the lines so much is a good thing.

I never gave much thought to the Exile's early life because to me, his unique powers were manifested as a result of the trauma he endured in war. However, if we go with your ideas (could be cannon, I have no idea), then it's certainly natural that the Jedi Masters would be wary of him. I look forward to seeing what you do with his bonding powers, though I would caution you against making them overt. On an instinctual level at least, Kai probably knows that people follow him. However, it's pretty clear in the game that he's astonished and horrified when he finally learns just how much sway he has over his fellow beings. It also seems to me that he's being kept completely in the dark by his fellow masters so there's no reason that he should know at this point. Now...this isn't to say you can't do a little foreboding at this point. I just think it's in the best interest of your story if you keep him fairly in the dark as to his potential. For example, he might have a small thrill when a number of padawans decide to follow him on some minor issue or escapades or he might begin to wonder, "Hey, why is that people are different around me...must be my magnetic personality! This could be a minor trap for him where he could be taught a lesson by kavar or someone else about arrogance and/or as I said earlier, provides a little dark foreboding, though I recommend you save dark foreboding until the war.

Speaking of those pesky Masters, I think this situation really opens up some interesting possibilities in terms of Kavar/Vandar and Kai's relation to the order as a whole. For one, Kai is sort of being portrayed as the intentional pariah here. He is purposefully being forced from forming permanent relationships (Kavar says as much) and I wonder just how lonely he could be sometimes. Kavar and Vandar (especially Kavar, he was his master, they're both guardians and generally portrayed as a nice guy), are then left as the only ones who will really reach out to him when he needs simple companionship without the strings of improvement/training attached. Kavar could finally get sick of what's being done to Kai and he could step in, thus becoming his master. In way, perhaps he failed because he was unable to see what needed to be done when Kai and Kreia came to Dantooine the final time, but it's that much more tragic since we and Kai then know just how much he cares for Kai and how much he gave for him. Atris then, is another way that he seeks companionship (romance is an entirely different issue), but she is (mostly) unable to give it to him. However, when she finally starts caring for him, he ups and leaves for the Mandalorian Wars, thus pissing her off.

Segueing again, I really advise you to show more of Kai's childhood in these fic's. Not that you need to write new stories just about that, but rather, what he's gone through should be evident in them, such as what you did with the little cred stick trick. Now, Kai's personality isn't going to allow him to be a bitter ass about it much...after all, he's turning out to be so considerate later on...however, that he would act just like a normal teenager when faced by the purposeful isolation of the Master's and Atris' superiority is unrealistic. This makes for a nice lead-in for a big confrontation between Kai/Atris where Kai basically opens her eyes to how little she knows. You think I wanted to be a theif?! You weren't there, you have no idea what it's like to watch, helpless, as a child dies in your arms, feeling her life drain out her. Something to that vague effect...ah, angst. Good stuff. Ultimately, it's completely up to you as to how you bring his rather traumatic childhood up. The main thing is that it's undeniably there. You don't go through stuff like Kai did as a child and not come out scarred. Perhaps it's subsurface, suppressed and subconscious, but the habits and tendencies stay, because otherwise, you get lazy and die, or so your old habits tell you.

As usual, your spelling and grammar are excellent.

Some more physical details wouldn't be out of place. You wouldn't have to add much, but just some simple descriptions of color, sound, smell, names of equipment, etc. would be a very easy way of increasing the fic's quality.

Once again, great stuff overall. I wish there was more, but I realize then that I'd be waiting longer for a new post and then I'd just be complaining about the wait :D. Whatever, quality before quantity and you have the former.

Clarification: I'm not advocating being a cannon nazi. Now, most of the time, I think it's wise for writers to stay mostly within the bounds of cannon because that's your first and biggest tie with the reader. However, if it makes the story work, then, by all means, rip anything and everything "official" to shreds.

Less is more. I keep saying, "Oh, you should really do this and this and this and...", but really, everything is pretty much fine as it is. Largely, it's those subtle undertones and little moments that really showcase stuff. If you decide to emphasize his childhood more, it doesn't have to be supremely obvious, "HEY, LOOK AT ME, I'M AN ORPHAN!!!" Just the small hints, those perfectly nailed moments of five sentences or less.

Crap, I sound like HK. Amusing, yes.

To be posted 26 June 2009 on

To be posted 26 June 2009 on StarwarsKnights under The Critic returns and Lucasforums under the Critic’s Two Cents.

Because I find that a lot of the writing here is already what I would define as professional standard, I will tag those I liked as pick of the week. Check at StarwarsKnights for the best of the best.

PreKOTOR: The Exile is assigned to work with a young historian…

Remember to edit, and especially look for improper word usage, startle instead of start for example.

The basics set the scene well, where Atris came from, the Exile’s past and the reason he was noticed by the Jedi, and how he made them uncomfortable. I was wondering which trait bothered them the most; that he had used the Force to be a superb pickpocket? Of his force bond capability.

Throwing these two together, and bringing in characters we would know well later was a nice touch.

Pick of the Week
 

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