Anything but Serene

Anything but Serene

The small shuttle rocked violently as its wingtip disintegrated suddenly in a roaring ball of flame. Inside, the pilot wrestled with the controls as the small ship bucked and span uncontrollably.

The figure strapped into the co-pilot's seat span to face him with a look of shock on her features. 'What was that?'

He grinned madly, still wrestling with the controls. 'Whoa, did you see that?' he shouted.

'Did our wing just explode?'

'It did seem to resemble...'

'Atton, did our left wing just explode for no shabla reason?!'

Atton looked mildly sheepish and grinned, embarrassed. 'Looks like.'

The woman muttered something under her breath that Atton couldn't hear, but he had a feeling that it was somehow derogatory to his parentage. After a second or two, she turned to him and looked him straight in the ear.

'Can you at least get us on the ground?'

Atton turned to her and offered her a cocky grin. 'That part will happen, pretty definitely.'

'Then at least manage to get us there in one piece.'

'Well, seeing as our wing is gone and we're losing bits and pieces of wiring every second, we're a long way past one pie--ow! What was that for?' he asked, mentally rubbing his arm where she had hit it.

'Stop being any more depressing than you already are," came the muttered reply.

He bit down his natural retort to that and turned back to the task at hand. His right hand quickly darted out and flicked the comm. button in front of him. 'This is your captain speaking,' he announced. 'I would like to inform you that nothing is the matter and that our faster than average decent is due in no form or fashion to the fact that we are at this moment lacking an important part of this vessel. I would like to advise you to brac--,' the controls bucked in his hands violently he had to wrestle to keep them under control, 'Whoa, nearly got me there, bastard,' he muttered, 'Where was I? Oh yeah, brace for impact please, the ground's getting real close, real quick.'

A few seconds of silence, before a scornful voice crackled back, 'I take it from your inane gibbering that we are crashing again?'

'That would be correct.' He flicked off the comm. 'Stupid old hag.'

His eyes had all the time been studying the immense white mass looming in the view screen. 'Snow, snow or more snow. What a choice,' he shook his head, 'Ah well. You can only die once.' From the corner of his eye he could see the woman in the co-pilot's seat staring at him like he was insane. 'Y'know, love,' he said, 'seeing as we are probably all going to die, know would be a good time for you to declare you're undying love for me...'

'In your dreams flyboy,' came the scathing reply.

'No? Well it was worth a try.' He shrugged, or as close as you can get to shrugging if you are trying to hold onto the controls of a shuttle plummeting to it's doom, 'You don't think you could give me a kiss for luck then?'

'We get outta this, flyboy, you just might get a kiss.'

'Anything for a pretty lady...'

------

A few moments later, the small gamma class shuttle made contact with solid snow and, for the occupants, everything got really dark.

------

Disclaimer: Do I really need to spell it out?

A/N: This is unbetaed, seeing as that would count as giving a cookie...the real reason is that I forgot...but you don't need to know that...

Heh, a cute little comedy. I get a kick out of it when characters act a little goofy sometimes >.>

Pretty good. Not fantastic but good. The writing in general needed some improvement as it sort of seemed unfocused. I did however like some of the dialogue, particularly the first bits and Atton's remarks. I think you captured the scoundrel quite well.

Also I had a few Serenity moments there.

"Did our wing just explode?"

"It did seem to resemble..."

"Atton, did our left wing just explode for no shabla reason?!"

and

"This is your captain speaking," he announced. "I would like to inform you that nothing is the matter and that our faster than average decent is due in no form or fashion to the fact that we are at this moment lacking an important part of this vessel. I would like to advise you to brac--,"

Intentional references? No problem if they were, I put stuff like that in my work from time to time too and I thought it fit the situation rather nicely regardless (and it was funny).

Good work.

Nivenus: Could you give me an example or two as to how it was unfocused...need to know what to improve on...

The Serenity moments were entirely intentional...hence the title...

Kind of reminded me of Serenity...oh hang...I think that's intentional eh ^_^ Just realised the importance of the title! Nice!

So much for thinking my crossover was orignal ^_^ Nice to know I'm not the only one who thinks like that. You'll have to tell me what you think of mine when/ if it gets posted.

Cute idea! I love Serenity, but never would have thought of working it into a Kotor fic. Nice job.

Totally cute :) You really captured Atton there. You know, I've always wondered what was going on in the cockpit on their shuttle travels too. I suspect you of mind reading ;)

Heee, good meshing of the two stories. And a great title pun! :)

To be posted 22 Jan 2010 on

To be posted 22 Jan 2010 on StarwarsKnights under The Critic returns and Lucasforums under the Critic’s Two Cents.

Because I find that a lot of the writing here is already what I would define as professional standard, I will tag those I liked as pick of the week. Check at StarwarsKnights for the best of the best.

Tsl on Telos: Things happened in the cockpit as the shuttle went down

The byplay between the flight crew is choice and the commentary;

'Then at least manage to get us there in one piece.'

'Well, seeing as our wing is gone and we're losing bits and pieces of wiring every second, we're a long way past one pie--ow! What was that for?' he asked, mentally rubbing his arm where she had hit it.

Made it even funnier. Serenity is one of my favorite movies, and seeing it played out here was fun.

Pick of the Week

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