Destiny: Part VII

'Get up, Dustil, and take these bags. It's no wonder Mira dumped you. You're next to useless,' Alexis Revan said, pushing on the sleeping boy's shoulder with all her might. He just grunted and ignored her for the most part, other than turning his face away from her. They had to leave for Coruscant to meet with the Senate that day. Apparently Dustil wasn't quite ready for the trip.

'Go 'way,' he growled as she pulled on his arm.

Alexis groaned. 'Fine. Be that way.' She started to leave, but a thought struck her. This wouldn't be a frivolous use of the Force... it was imperative that Dustil get up and go to the transport... she needed him to carry bags. She held out her palm and used the Force to lift him from the couch. Dumbfounded, he tried to struggle, his legs thrashing wildly in the empty air, but she held him easily. After a moment, he settled back down enough to turn and glare at her.

'You've made your point,' he said through gritted teeth.

Alexis dropped him unceremoniously back onto the sofa. He grunted when he landed. After a second, he rolled over at sat up. Alexis gave him a friendly smile. 'Get your bag. It's time to go.'

'I don't want to see Mira yet,' he said darkly, standing and slinging his bag onto his shoulder. He looked like a pouty child.

'You haven't any choice,' Alexis replied, grabbing his arm and tossing Carth's bag over her shoulder with her other hand. 'Would you get that last- thanks,' Alexis said as Dustil lifted the final bag. 'Do you need anything else from in here?'

Dustil shook his head. 'No. Nice gloves,' Dustil said, motioning towards her hands as they slipped out the door. 'They look like Atton's.'

'I rather like them. They're very comfortable.'

'They make you look like a scoundrel, especially with that hood,' Dustil pointed out.

'I was a scoundrel, at least for a month or so.'

'Sometimes I forget that.'

'It was the Council's revenge. They got to call me a scoundrel without sounding too offensive,' Alexis responded, smiling widely.

Dustil turned his sullen gaze on her for a moment. 'Why are you so happy?'

'I'm not, at least not particularly so. I just feel a lot... lighter, somehow. I'm not keeping secrets anymore. It's a nice feeling.'

Dustil's stare turned speculative and he looked away. Alexis watched him for a moment, curious what he was thinking. He didn't speak, so Alexis looked down at her hands.

Dustil had always seemed supportive of her would-be relationship with Carth, but Alexis wasn't sure now that they actually had a relationship that he felt the same way. Was it possible that he felt as if Carth had betrayed his mother? Why, then, would he have told Alexis that he intended to see her become his stepmother? Perhaps she just worried too much.

Alexis shifted the bag she was carrying from one shoulder to the other, a frown creasing her brow. Was she going to be his stepmother? Carth certainly hadn't proposed, but she was fairly sure that the thought had crossed his mind. What would her answer be? Could she say no and continue the relationship? She didn't think so. But what of the Jedi? Was it possible to train young Jedi and be Carth's wife simultaneously? These were all things that she had considered long before she'd brought her feelings for Carth out into the open, but had never thought of again.

They were questions that required answers. She needed to talk to Carth about most of them, but she wasn't used to sharing her thoughts and feelings. It was a weakness of sorts, at least it had been to her mind, and she didn't want to be vulnerable, not even to Carth. But then wasn't she already vulnerable? By opening her heart to Carth, hadn't she also opened herself to the possibility of pain?

Alexis and Dustil slid out into the neighboring module and walked slowly towards the next shuttle. They weren't very far from their destination. Once inside the docking module a few minutes later, Alexis glanced up and spotted Doran Snider standing not ten feet from them. Their eyes met briefly and Alexis's arm automatically snaked out and caught Dustil's hand. He glanced over at her, his eyes wide, and Alexis muttered, 'Look alive,' and turned back towards Doran. How was it that she always ran into this kid?

Alexis sighed and forced a faint smile at the officer, still dressed in his uniform. 'Doran. Shouldn't you be off by now?'

'Hey Lexi, Dustil,' he greeted. 'Off? Oh, no. I'm working overtime. Apparently someone very important is traveling on the transport leaving this morning. They've doubled security. I know Senator Seraph and Admiral Onasi are supposed to be on board, but...' he trailed off, eyeing Dustil. 'Dustil...' he looked thoughtful for a moment. 'Are you Admiral Onasi's son?'

Dustil grimaced and glared at Doran. The kid seemed a little intimidated. 'Yeah,' Dustil muttered, tightening his grip on Alexis's hand.

'And you're a mercenary?' the kid said disbelievingly.

'Yes,' Dustil responded through gritted teeth.

'Easy, Dustil,' Alexis said soothingly, squeezing his hand back. He was still upset about Mira and Doran's prying wasn't making him feel any better. 'Control your anger,' she added in an undertone. If he intended to be a Jedi, he was going to have to learn that some emotions needed to remain in check. Most of them, actually.

Dustil relaxed slowly, one muscle at a time, the tension in his shoulders easing and his eyes clearing. What had this kid done to make him so upset, anyway? Doran shifted nervously, watching Dustil. Alexis gave him a reassuring smile. 'And no, he isn't terribly proud,' Dustil added a touch darkly, leveling his gaze on the kid.

'Sure he is,' Alexis said brightly to Doran.

'Are you all leaving with the Admiral?' Doran asked Alexis, a wary eye still trained on Dustil.

Dustil looked as if he was going to answer, so Alexis cut him off before he had the chance. 'Yes. We won't be back for a while,' she said.

Dustil stared off into the distance, seemingly to ignore the rest of the conversation. 'The Admiral's a good man,' Doran said finally.

Alexis nodded, smiling at the hero worship apparent in Doran's eyes. Did all of the young officers on Telos think that Carth was a god? It seemed likely, from what she'd seen so far. 'That he is,' she responded. She waited for a moment, and then she spoke again. 'Well, we need to get going. It's been-,' but Carth's arrival cut her off. She nearly groaned.

'Did I hear my name?' he asked, glancing around the small group. Alexis saw Kalen standing not far behind him. Beside her, Dustil was looking at his father with a mischievous glint to his eye. What was he up to?

'Yes, sir,' Alexis said, emphasizing the last word. Carth looked at her sharply, then down at her hand in Dustil's, and finally back up at Doran.

Doran was saluting smartly. 'Ease up, kid. I'm not in uniform,' Carth said, smiling affably. 'So, what were we saying about me?' he asked and Alexis looked away to keep from grinning.

'That was my fault, sir,' Doran said quickly. 'I was telling your family what a good man that I'd heard you were... sir,' he said again, his face flushed. He stammered a little, and Alexis bit her lip to control her laughter. Dustil was looking appraisingly around the group.

'Dad,' he began slyly. Alexis immediately knew something was up by his tone. 'I hear that you've finally proposed to Kalen. Congratulations,' he said, holding out his hand. Kalen's eyes went wide behind Carth and she slipped her arm into the crook of his elbow. Alexis winked at her and Kalen smiled widely.

Carth took Dustil's free hand and shook it vigorously. By the pained expression on Dustil's face, it was quite clear that he was squeezing very hard. 'Thank you, son.'

'Where's the ring?' Alexis asked, unable to control herself. It was perfectly natural for one woman to want to see another's engagement ring, right? She waited for the answer, wide-eyed with innocence, for several seconds, still clinging to Dustil's hand.

Kalen, looking lost, glanced up at Carth. He frowned for a moment, and then shrugged as if embarrassed. 'I haven't gotten her one yet.'

'You proposed without a ring?' Dustil asked incredulously. Doran's head was jerking back and forth as he followed the conversation, his eyes wide and his lips slightly parted. It appeared that he wasn't used to people he considered to be his betters talking about anything like this in his presence. The shock on his face was rather comical.

It was that moment that Atton chose to arrive. He ambled up, his hands in his pockets, and surveyed the situation for a second. Everyone was watching him, waiting to see if he caught the gist of what was going on. He took in each strange pair, holding hands and arms, and a wicked grin spread across his face. He casually tossed an arm around Doran's shoulders and wagged his eyebrows at him. 'Well hello there,' he said in a tone that left no doubt what his intentions had been.

Alexis's hand shot to her mouth to control the bark of laughter that nearly escaped. Kalen had done the same. Dustil was grinning viciously and Carth burst into a fit of coughing. Doran's mouth dropped open all the way and he stared at Atton for a full thirty seconds while Carth recovered from his attack of coughing. The fear in his eyes was almost indecent.

'I have to go...' Doran whispered, pulling away.

'Maybe we'll see each other the next time I'm on planet?' Atton said sweetly, putting his hand on the kid's shoulder and giving him an inviting smile.

'I have to go...' Doran repeated stupidly, turning away and fleeing as if for his very life. Alexis watched him hurry away, wondering if the poor kid wouldn't be scarred for life. Once he was completely gone, the group began to laugh.

'I can't believe you,' Kalen said between laughs, pulling away from Carth to catch Atton's arm.

'What?' Atton said innocently. 'He seemed like a nice guy.'

Alexis snorted and clung to Dustil. 'You, Atton Rand, are a scoundrel,' she said, pointing a finger at his chest.

'Why thank you,' Atton said, folding his arm across his middle and bowing floridly.

'Mind if I ask what was going on?' Carth asked, glancing over at Alexis.

'You don't want to know,' was Dustil's laughing reply.

---

A few hours later on board The Wayfarer, Carth watched from beneath lowered eyelids as Kalen and Alexis sparred. He wasn't the only one, either. Dustil, Atton, Mical, Bao-Dur, and Canderous were all participating in the same activity. Mira had disappeared upon their arrival and Visas was meditating nearby, which was just as well. The spectacle probably wouldn't have entertained them as much as it was the men in the room.

Senator Seraph was inside of her room, but her bodyguards were stationed outside of the door. Carth found them highly unnecessary, since there were so many Jedi and soldiers within shouting distance, but he hadn't pointed that out to his cousin. She probably wouldn't have taken the advice well. She liked to do things her own way.

Carth's attention returned to the sparring match. Kalen and Alexis, oblivious to their audience, were practicing hand-to-hand combat in the center of the large common room. They weren't wearing a lot, which was probably why every male in the room couldn't take his eyes off of them. Tight undershirts and leggings left little to the imagination. At first, Carth hadn't liked the idea of Alexis running around in public dressed that way, but he'd reminded himself that her bounty hunter costume hadn't been much less revealing. In fact, this particular outfit covered her entire middle, which he considered to be a plus.

Carth winced as Kalen landed a fairly powerful blow to Alexis's whipcord-lean body. Alexis took one step back and sucked in a large breath of air before recovering. They were fighting pretty hard, only tempering their blows to a mild degree, and Carth hoped that they wouldn't injure one another. Not that he would mind playing doctor, just that he didn't like seeing her hurt.

Alexis blocked a blow Kalen aimed at her midsection and responded with a resounding hit to Kalen's ribcage. Kalen staggered back for a moment and held up her hand. Alexis stood still, waiting for her friend to catch her breath. Alexis was smiling faintly, and appeared to be enjoying herself. Kalen had been as well, before the last knock that she'd received.

It was easy to compare the two women when they stood together that way. He had to admit, Kalen had a better body, even though Alexis looked much healthier than she had a little over a month before. Kalen was curvy and femininely muscular, while Alexis was a little overly lean with the fine muscle and sinew of an acrobat. Without the Force or a lightsaber, Kalen was the more powerful of the two. Alexis was a bit quicker, but her reach was nowhere near the length of Kalen's.

Kalen lowered her hand and the bout began again. She was on the offensive, leaning into Alexis and striking quickly and efficiently. Alexis caught and blocked almost every blow, but she missed a few, which landed with a loud crack on her torso. Alexis was losing ground. Kalen had apparently caught her second wind. Of course, Kalen had been obliged to live without the Force for some time. She'd had to learn how to fight without it. Alexis had had no such problem.

They were sweating, since they'd decided not to use the Force, and Alexis broke away from Kalen and wiped her forehead with the back of her hand. They circled one another for a moment, panting slightly. They'd been at this for a very long time.

Carth glanced around the room during the lull in the battle. No one else had taken their eyes off of the pair. It was only a small consolation that the majority was more interested in Kalen. More beautiful she was not, but sexier? Well- he didn't think so, but most everyone else in the room probably did.

Carth turned his eyes to Kalen for a moment. She looked a lot like his wife had. They were similarly tall and femininely shaped with the same long, straight blonde hair. Why had Alexis mentioned his wife the day before, anyway? Did she really feel as if she were taking Morgana's place? She had a long time ago, in a sense, but not by choice, his or hers.

She was so lovely, Carth reflected, watching Alexis's brilliant green eyes dance with excitement. She enjoyed working out this way, fighting an opponent that she did not have to kill. It appeared that Kalen felt the same way. 'Tired?' he heard Kalen ask, holding out her arm for Alexis to grab. Alexis latched on and they shook hands and then hugged.

'Eeew... You're sweaty,' Alexis said jokingly, and Carth grinned. Kalen wiped her forehead on her arm and then smeared the sweat on Alexis. Alexis squealed and ran off, with Kalen chasing after her. They raced around the common room like errant children, giggling and leaping over the furniture that got in their way.

When they acted this way, it reminded Carth painfully of the fact that they had been given no real childhood. Jedi children were expected to be calm and respectful: emotionless. He wondered sometimes if laughter had even been allowed in their enclaves.

Carth shut his eyes for a moment. He needed some sleep. He wasn't used to remaining awake all night long and, old man that he was, he longed for the rest. His eyes popped back open when Alexis jumped onto the couch he was sitting on from the back, landing gracefully beside him. She smiled at him, reaching up to brush a lock of her hair out of her face. He pressed a finger to her forehead to catch a bead of sweat and held it up for her inspection. 'You need a bath,' he told her.

Alexis rolled her eyes. 'I'll go shower in a minute.'

'Can I come with you?' he asked quietly. He was rewarded with a smack on the arm and a blush. He had known that that would be her response, but it was fun to tease her. 'I'll wash your back,' he added enticingly. Across the room, he could see Kalen and Atton heading off to one of their rooms. He assumed that Atton had made the same offer and met with a better response.

'I can reach my own back, thank you,' Alexis said.

Carth lifted one of her arms to his eye level. 'With these stubby things?'

She jerked her arm away and glared at him. He grinned back at her indignant expression. After a moment, she gave in and a smile spread across her face. 'That sounds like an excuse, to me.'

Carth shook his head. 'It's not an excuse. I was just trying to help you out.' He held up his right palm as if swearing an oath.

Alexis sighed and leaned back against the sofa, stretching her arms out in front of her. She pushed her shoulders back and arched them slowly. Carth raised his eyebrows at her questioningly. She relaxed and made a face. 'Stiff muscles,' she said, flexing her fingers.

'See, you do need me,' Carth replied gently. He took one of her hands in his and started to massage the palm. She watched him quietly, her eyes half closed, as he moved down to her fingers, rubbing and caressing her hands. She didn't pull away, so he continued, feeling the delicate bones beneath her skin. She had several small calluses, probably from her lightsaber. He examined her nails. They were short and blunt, but clean and neatly filed. She had very pretty hands. They didn't look like the hands of a trained killer.

He lowered that hand and took the other. She turned towards him to make it easier for him to reach. While working on her right hand, he happened to glance up into her face. She was smiling contentedly. When he caught her gaze, she averted her eyes quickly, attempting to pull away. He didn't relinquish his grip and she stopped fighting almost immediately. She wouldn't look at him, though. He wondered what she was thinking.

He kissed her hand softly and let her go. She met his eyes briefly, wearing the expression that he'd always wanted to see directed at him. She must have realized it, too, because it vanished almost as quickly as it had arrived. He wasn't even sure if he'd seen it at all. She rose abruptly, clasping her hands to her chest. It amazed him that he could make her so nervous. 'I have to go and shower,' she said pointedly, turning to leave.

'Are you sure you don't want me to come with you?' he offered one last time. Her wide eyes turned back to his face and she actually looked like she might be considering the idea. Carth hadn't expected that. Finally, she shook her head no and walked towards the room that she'd taken as hers. Carth rose a second later and disappeared into his room: he needed some sleep.

---

Alexis slid out of the shower and pulled on a pair of tights and a tunic as quickly as she could. She left the bathroom and threw herself onto her bed with a moan. Why was she still resisting? If Dustil hadn't interrupted them the night before, would she really have gone through with it? Why was she afraid of the one person in the universe who would probably die before causing her any harm?

Alexis grabbed the towel that she'd brought with her and dried vigorously at her hair. No matter how many times she told herself that making love to Carth was perfectly natural and safe, the thought alone made her tremble. He wasn't going to hurt her! What was there to be afraid of?

She wasn't a coward. She wasn't. And fear was far more dangerous for her than Carth ever could be. So why wouldn't she just give in? He probably thought she was crazy. Maybe she was, too. She was in love with the man, and she was terrified of him.

Alexis tossed the towel across the room in an uncommon display of anger. Instantly, she regretted it. She stared hard at the towel, a frown on her face. Fear was a dangerous thing. Fear led to anger and even though her anger was directed internally, it was not an emotion that she was comfortable experiencing.

So, what was the root of the fear? It wasn't Carth, not really. She knew that. What could it be? It wasn't the actual act that had her shaking in her boots, either. Then again, maybe it was. Maybe it was just like the fear of admitting her feelings; maybe she was afraid of being vulnerable; and maybe she was afraid of betraying the Jedi.

Alexis bit her lip and grabbed the pillow that was next to her and hugged it to her chest. There was no shame in letting someone else be responsible for you, especially if you loved them. She loved Carth. He wouldn't hurt her. She wouldn't be in any danger. Making love to Carth wouldn't be any riskier than being in love with him in the first place.

Alexis got off of the bed and started towards the door. She absently dropped the pillow. It was still daytime. There would be people in the common room and they'd automatically know where she was going. What if he were still out there himself? Alexis wavered indecisively for a moment, her hand on the door. She squared her shoulders. What did she care what they thought? She forced herself into the common room with more courage than she thought she possessed and glanced around. There was no sign of Carth. He had to be in his room.

Alexis walked to his door and entered without knocking. Carth sat up and looked at her. He'd been laying on the bed, most likely trying to sleep. She wanted to run away, but she stood her ground. 'Can we talk?' she asked softly.

Carth gave her a bemused smile. 'This sounds serious,' he said, motioning towards the bed. 'Sit down. This is getting to be a habit of yours, you know: talking to me. You should be careful about doing it so often. I might start to like it.'

Alexis forced herself to sit calmly on the edge of the bed. She clasped her hands in her lap and stared at the floor, scraping up her nerve.

'What's up?' he asked, sliding a bit closer so that he could see her face.

'I lied to you,' Alexis said, turning to look at him. She didn't lower her gaze this time. She wouldn't be afraid anymore. It was time to stop running.

He frowned slightly. 'Okay. What did you lie to me about?'

'I am afraid,' she whispered.

He didn't react immediately. 'What are you afraid of?' he asked just as softly.

Alexis didn't want to say it, but she could think of no other way to put it. 'You.' Carth recoiled as if she'd struck him. The hurt she saw in his eyes shot straight to her heart. 'Not like that,' she said quickly, reaching for his hand.

'Why?' he asked, glancing down at their joined hands and then back into her eyes.

Alexis wanted to touch his face, but she held back. She waited a moment before answering. It was hard to tell him why. He probably wouldn't understand. He was just as vulnerable to her as she was to him, but he wasn't afraid. Not the way that she was. 'Because you are the only person that could ever really hurt me,' she said.

Carth looked amazed. 'Alexis, I would never hurt you,' he vowed in a strong voice.

Alexis sighed. 'Don't think I don't know that,' she said, shaking her head. 'I can't really explain it. I'm completely exposed to you in a way that I never have been to anyone else. It's... got me absolutely terrified.'

Carth grabbed her hand and tugged until she slipped up onto the bed the rest of the way. She curled against his chest without further urging and Carth folded her in his arms. 'It's all right to need other people,' he said into her hair.

'I know. But I've never needed anyone before.'

'It doesn't make you weak, beautiful. Relying on others makes you stronger. The support of those you love gives you courage and strength. Just give me a chance to prove it to you. I'm not going anywhere.'

Alexis knew she was shaking again. She could feel it. 'I'm sorry,' she said sincerely.

'What do you have to be sorry for?' Carth asked in a puzzled tone.

Alexis smiled faintly and looked up into his eyes. 'That I'm not half the woman that you deserve.'

'You're the woman I want,' Carth said gently, kissing her forehead. 'You're trembling,' he added, rubbing his hand along her back.

Alexis nodded and dropped her head back onto his chest. 'I'm still scared out of my wits.'

Alexis felt his hand slide into her still-damp hair, ruffling it lightly. 'No matter how many times I tell you I won't hurt you, you're still going to be scared of me,' he told her matter-of-factly. She started to reply, but he cut her off. 'Will you let me show you that there isn't a reason to be afraid?' he asked. Alexis turned her head back and he pressed his lips to hers briefly. She looked into his brown eyes, lost in their warm depths. Unable to speak, she nodded slowly.

Carth pressed her head back to his chest. Alexis waited in silence while he played with her hair. She shut her eyes after a moment, giving in to the sensation. 'Put your back to me,' he muttered.

Alexis turned uncertainly. His hands drifted to her shoulders and he started to rub them much as he had done her hands a short while earlier. That had been an experience. She'd never had anyone touch her hands that way. Who could have known that it would feel so wonderful?

Alexis relaxed slowly under the pressure of his hands. 'You're good at that,' Alexis told him, tilting her neck back.

He kissed the back of her neck once, but he pulled away very quickly. 'Are your muscles still sore?' he asked.

'No,' she replied slightly dreamily. He was very good with his hands.

'Kalen landed some fairly hard blows earlier,' Carth observed.

'It wasn't too bad. They sounded a lot worse than they were. I don't even think I'll have any bruises.'

'I hope not,' Carth replied. His hands moved down slowly, where his fingers worked magic on the small of her back. She nearly groaned. It was with some surprise that she noted that she was no longer nervous.

'Carth?' she said quietly, glancing over her shoulder at him.

'Hhmm?' he responded, meeting her eyes.

She turned her body until she was facing him. He pulled his hands away and waited, watching her. She touched his face hesitantly. He smiled and kissed her palm. 'May I touch you?' she asked, cautiously placing her hand on the hem of his shirt.

He grinned. 'You can do whatever you like. I won't move,' he replied.

Alexis tugged at his shirt and he sat up enough so that she could tug it off. She moved until she was sitting beside him and facing him so that she could reach him easily. She stared at him nervously, her boldness gone now that they were eye to eye. He waited, an amused expression on his handsome face. When she still wouldn't touch him, he took her hand and settled it on his chest.

'I thought you weren't going to move,' Alexis said reproachfully.

He laughed softly. 'I thought you were.'

Alexis moved her hand gingerly across his chest, feeling the warm muscle beneath her palm. She touched his throat and he swallowed convulsively, his eyes darkening. Alexis started to pull away. 'It's okay,' he said, catching her hand and holding it there. He released her after a moment and she resumed her explorations.

The hair that peppered his chest was coarse and springy, yet soft at the same time. Fascinated, she slid her fingers back and forth over it. Carth laughed at the expression on her face. She bit her lip. She'd touched him before, but never like this. Not with him watching.

She traced the muscles of his stomach, which twitched beneath her fingers. She grinned and glanced up at him. He looked slightly strained. Alexis knew what kind of control it was taking for him not to touch her. Clearly he was doing his damnedest not frighten her away. 'Thank you,' she said quietly, her other hand brushing his lips. He bit her finger and Alexis yelped and pulled her hand away. He gave her a wicked grin. 'Animal,' she muttered darkly.

He just smiled and Alexis slipped her hands back to his abdomen. She circled his belly button with the tip of her index finger. Afterwards, it trailed slowly to the waistband of his pants, and he deftly caught her hands and pulled them away. 'Not yet,' he said, reaching for her.

Alexis didn't resist. He caught her in his arms and slipped his hand into her hair to bring her lips to his. His kiss was hungry and for a moment, Alexis almost felt her fear return. The instant passed, however, and when he pulled away, she rested her cheek against his, smiling.

Carth's hands slipped underneath her tunic and Alexis nearly panicked. He froze, waiting for her to relax. She took a deep breath and leaned away from him enough to throw the shirt away. She couldn't look at him.

Did the light really have to be on? What if he found her repulsive? She still wasn't very healthy. Her muscles were stretched over nothing but bone. She didn't have very many of the curves that most men found attractive. She was too pale and much of her body was heavily scarred.

'You are the most beautiful creature I've ever seen,' he told her, turning her chin so that she had to meet his eyes. She was still almost fully clothed, but she didn't feel like it. She wanted to cover herself, but Carth distracted her with another kiss. This one left her breathless. He pulled away to nibble at her neck and Alexis slipped her fingers into his hair and tugged his head back to kiss him again.

His fingers trailed over her ribs cage and Alexis shivered with delight. Her heart was racing, whether with fear or anticipation she was no longer sure. He turned her in his arms until her back was to the headboard and slowly lowered her to the pillows. He leaned over her from the side, one arm by each of her shoulder, and trailed kisses down to her bellybutton, leaving her gasping for air.

Carth pulled himself back up until his face was even with hers. He was no longer touching her. He looked at her quietly for a moment. 'Are you still afraid?' he asked, his breathing harsh. Alexis knew that if she said yes, he would stop immediately, no matter what it might cost him.

That was not what she wanted at all. She smiled at him fiercely. 'Yes. I'm afraid that if you don't come back down here, I'll be forced to strangle you.'

He chuckled and lowered his body gently onto hers. His weight was pleasant rather than stifling, as she had expected. 'We can't have that,' he muttered against her mouth, his eyes dancing.

An hour later, Alexis found herself curled against a sleeping Carth's chest, listening to the regular pattern of his breathing. She couldn't stop smiling. It was embarrassing, really, to think that she had ever been afraid. Carth had been so gentle with her. There had been some discomfort, of course, if only for a moment, but that was usual for a woman's first time, or so she understood. Afterwards, he'd held her and told her how much he loved her. He was an amazing man: she was still warm all over. Her body would be tender for a day or so, but that didn't matter. At the moment, nothing mattered.

Alexis had her back to Carth with his arm draped over her waist. With some interest, she reached for his hand, which was resting on the bed before her. His broad fingers were roughened with calluses. She traced her fingers up his forearm, rubbing her thumb across a wide scar that was white with age. She wondered idly how he had gotten it.

She couldn't stop touching him. Everything about him was utterly enthralling. Many of the things that she was noticing now were things that she'd seen every day since they'd met, but never paid that much attention to. For some reason they now had a great deal more appeal for her.

Apparently her wandering hands had caused him to stir, because behind her, Carth lifted himself onto one elbow to look down at her. She rolled over enough to meet his gaze. 'I love you,' he said softly, bringing his other hand up to touch her face.

Alexis knew that she had to be wearing the sappiest expression know to mankind. She couldn't have changed it if she'd tried. 'I love you too,' she replied, a soft smile spreading over her face. His fingers traced their way up to her hairline, where they twined in the loose curls that trailed down her forehead.

'I take it that you're not afraid of me anymore?' Carth said, raising an eyebrow at her.

Alexis laughed softly, a blush staining her cheeks. 'I never want to get out of bed again,' she replied after a moment.

'Not that I don't appreciate the compliment, but you have to remember that I'm an old man. I don't have the energy I used to,' he said, grinning at her.

'Seemed pretty vigorous to me,' Alexis told him.

'You're going to kill me yet.'

'I doubt that. You're of no use dead.'

'Am I your sex toy now?'

'No. Love slave. There's a difference, you know.'

'I had no idea,' he replied, lowering his head to kiss her.

'I'm glad to have let you in on my little secret, then,' Alexis said teasingly.

Carth's gaze sharpened for a moment and he met her eyes. 'I'm glad that you did, too,' he said seriously. Those were their last words for a very long time.

Much later, Carth was standing by the edge of the bed, staring down at Alexis's inert form with a warm smile on his face. It would have been night on Telos and everyone else was probably in bed asleep. He watched Alexis's eyes flutter open slowly when she realized that he was no longer laying at her side.

Her gaze focused on him after a moment and she frowned at his clothes. 'What are you doing?' she asked curiously, sitting up with the sheet clasped to her chest.

'I don't know about you, but I'm starving,' he told her. She was so lovely, sitting on his bed, her hair tousled and her eyes tired. Carth was proud to note that she looked like she had spent a very pleasant day. Apparently he had been quite thorough.

'You're hungry?' she said in a puzzled voice.

'I did miss two meals, thanks to you, and if I don't eat soon, I won't have the energy left to make it to the cafeteria,' he said.

'I wouldn't want you to waste away before my eyes,' Alexis said with a shrug. 'Would you toss me my clothes? I'd be happy to go with you.'

Carth gave her a wicked grin. 'Why don't you get up and get them yourself?'

'You'd like that, wouldn't you?' Alexis said, pulling the sheet more tightly about her body.

'It's nothing I haven't seen before,' he said with a straight face. He wasn't even surprised when the pillow slammed into his head. She was quick, that was for sure. He was surprised, however, when he went to get her clothes and met her there. She hadn't even taken the sheet with her. 'Maybe I'm not hungry after all,' Carth said quickly, eyeing her body.

She blushed, but held her ground. She was getting bolder, which pleased him immensely. He hadn't expected it so quickly, but with her, it wasn't anything unusual. She could adapt relatively quickly to almost anything. 'I don't think so. This was your idea,' she said, tugging on her tunic.

Carth sighed mournfully at her. 'Fine,' he muttered, pulling her against him for a quick kiss and thrusting her away again before she could protest.

'Go get my boots from my room, please,' she said, pointing at the door.

'Is that part of my duties as 'love slave'?' he asked, grinning at her.

She didn't seem to know what he was talking about. After a moment, recognition dawned on her face, and she laughed. 'Yes. Go fetch the mistress's boots, boy.'

He bowed obsequiously. 'All shall be as you desire, my queen,' he said, lifting her hand and kissing her fingertips.

'Get out, you,' she said, jerking her hand away.

Carth rose and turned to leave. 'Have I been a bad boy? I am getting sent to your room, after all. Perhaps there's going to be some punishment involved?' he said, trying to make her blush again.

It worked. He cheeks colored, but she gave him a gentle shove to send him on his way. 'Boots. Now,' she said, shutting the door behind him.

Carth wandered over to her room through the common room's silence. Everyone else was definitely in their own room. Well, theirs or someone else's. He wasn't going to pursue that train of thought. It didn't take him very long to fetch her boots and return to his own room. Sadly, once he arrived, she was already dressed. 'Your boots, madam,' he said, holding out her tall black boots and bowing once again. She sat down in the middle of the floor to tug them on. When she was ready, he held out his hand and helped her up.

She didn't let go of his hand. When he looked at her face, she smiled a bit shyly and squeezed his hand. 'Ready?' he asked. She nodded and they headed off in search of something to eat.

---

'Alexis, what's that on your neck?' Kalen asked early the following morning from her position on the floor. The two girls were stretching in the common room, alone except for the senator's guards. Carth had gone to the Bridge to speak to the ship's commander and everyone else was still in bed.

Alexis pressed a hand to her neck, not quite sure what Kalen was talking about. The skin there was tender. She frowned and glanced over at Kalen. 'I'm sure it's nothing...' she said, trailing off and looking back down at the ground. Actually, she was fairly certain she could guess what it was, and she wished fervently that it wasn't there at all.

'Right...' Kalen said, sounding unconvinced. 'Looks a bit like a rash to me.'

'It's probably from my clothes or something...' Alexis said quickly. She tried to hide her embarrassment by shifting positions so that Kalen wouldn't be able to see her expression.

'I've seen a rash like that once before,' Kalen said slyly.

Alexis couldn't help but look at her. She was grinning widely. Alexis blushed immediately. 'Ah...'

'It was a sort of- beard burn... if I remember correctly.'

'Beard burn?' Alexis said, more surprised at the terminology that anything else.

'Is that the only place that you've got it?'

Alexis knew that she had to be blushing down to the tips of her toes. 'Yes,' she said sharply.

'So... things are going well between you and Carth, I take it?' Kalen said. Alexis cleared her throat. 'That's all the answer I need,' Kalen added, laughing softly at her.

'You... It's not...' Alexis found that she couldn't quite put her thoughts into words. She sighed darkly and glared at Kalen. 'You couldn't make this easy for me, could you?'

'Why should I? It took you long enough to get to this point in the first place. It was something like five years, wasn't it? I'd say the man was entitled to leave a few marks.'

Alexis frowned and touched her neck again. After a moment of thought, a grin spread across her face and a soft green glow emanated from her fingertips. The skin healed instantly, although it was still dry and sort of itchy. Alexis didn't mind that. At least it was probably not so obvious anymore.

'Cheat,' Kalen said, shaking her head.

'I'll bet that you've done the same at least once,' Alexis countered. She wondered idly if she'd ever stop blushing again. At this rate, it was unlikely.

'Atton doesn't have a beard,' Kalen pointed out.

'Right. Neither does Carth. It's a perpetual five o'clock shadow. I think that he probably believes that it makes him look tough.'

'Well that's Carth,' Kalen said. She doubled over, her legs straight, and pressed her palms flat on the floor. Alexis did the same.

'You can't tell me that Atton doesn't ever need to shave,' Alexis said.

'Of course he does. But he actually does it. Carth doesn't.'

'Yeah well, that's because Carth looks good that way and Atton just looks scruffy.'

'Who's scruffy looking?' Atton asked from behind.

'What are you doing back there?' Alexis asked, shifting slightly to one side so that she could see him.

'The view's nice,' Atton responded, grinning impudently at her.

'I thought you were going to sleep in,' Kalen said, straightening and turning to face Atton.

He shrugged. 'I couldn't sleep after you left.'

'That's sweet,' Kalen exclaimed, smiling at him.

Atton grunted sourly and Alexis covered her mouth to stifle a giggle. 'I meant that you woke me up,' Atton said. Kalen's expression fell and Alexis raised her eyebrows at Atton. 'Hey- I was only kidding babe,' he said, reaching for Kalen. She danced out of his reach, her eyes wide and her lower lip hanging slightly in an exaggerated pout.

Alexis stood up slowly, arching her back when she reached her full height. Her spine cracked loudly and Atton cringed. 'That was rather disgusting, wasn't it?' she said with a wry laugh.

Atton held out both of his hands, one to each of them. 'How would you ladies like to go with me to breakfast?' he offered.

Alexis shook her head. 'I'm not hungry. I ate a few hours ago.'

'What were you doing up that late?' Atton asked curiously.

'Nothing,' Alexis said innocently. 'I couldn't sleep.'

Atton cocked his head to the side. 'You missed dinner yesterday.'

'That's when I was sleeping,' Alexis said lamely, glancing away so that he couldn't see her face.

Kalen snorted and covered her mouth, her eyes shimmering with laughter. Atton turned to look at her. 'Is that how it is?' he asked. Kalen nodded without speaking and Atton turned to Alexis and took her hand and shook it vigorously. 'I'm proud of you. I'll have to find Carth and congratulate him, of course. Five years... Huh. He might have died if he'd waited much longer.'

Alexis jerked her hand away from him and pressed it to her forehead to hide her eyes. She stared resolutely at the carpet. Atton's laughter echoed through the entire room. Alexis lowered her hand and squared her shoulders. 'You wouldn't have lasted for five days,' she replied with all the dignity she could muster. Atton erupted into fresh gales of laughter and Alexis threw herself onto the couch nearby to glare at him sullenly.

Kalen walked over and sat down beside her. She took Alexis's hand and began to pat it gently in exactly the same condescending manner that Alexis had patted hers in Carth's kitchen not too long before. Alexis turned her glare on Kalen and the girl pressed her lips together while her shoulders shook with suppressed laughter.

When Atton recovered, he walked over to the couch and smiled at them. 'I'm sorry,' he said, still chuckling.

'You are not!' Alexis burst out, frowning.

He shrugged. 'You're right. I'm not, really.' After a pause, he offered Kalen his hand for the second time. 'To breakfast?'

'Is that all you think about?' Kalen asked.

'It's not all I think about,' Atton said, winking at her lewdly.

Alexis laughed in spite of herself. Kalen rolled her eyes. 'Why don't you go over to the kitchen and cook yourself something. You wouldn't have to walk as far,' she said.

'Sounds like wasted effort to me,' Atton responded.

'So- let me get this straight- You'll walk halfway across the ship to the cafeteria to get food, but you won't walk twenty yards to the kitchen and throw together something yourself?' Kalen said.

'That's about the straight of it,' Atton said.

'I'll never understand men,' Kalen muttered. 'Fine. You go ahead. I'll get myself a piece of fruit or something later.'

'Don't stick around on my account,' Alexis told her, her expression gloomy.

'Someone has to cheer you up,' Kalen told her, patting her cheek insultingly.

'That's Carth's job, not yours,' Atton reminded her. 'Unless I can watch,' he amended. Alexis shut her eyes and took a deep breath. When she opened them again, she turned to look at Atton. With one look at her face, he turned and started towards the exit to their apartment complex. 'All right, all right. I'm gone,' he said.

When he was finally out of sight, Kalen turned to Alexis. 'Do you think that Atton would make a good father?'

'Atton?' Alexis said skeptically. She paused for an instant. 'Why do you ask?' she asked suspiciously.

Kalen sighed in response. 'Because I'm fairly certain that he's going to be one,' she said seriously.

'You're planning it?'

'Actually, I think it's already happened.'

'I thought that women weren't supposed to be able to tell that they're pregnant for two weeks or so,' Alexis said, frowning slightly.

'I would say that that was a bit different for Jedi, wouldn't you?' Kalen said dryly.

Alexis shrugged. 'I don't know. I've never met a pregnant Jedi. It doesn't come up very often, you know.'

'How soon do you think that a doctor can confirm it?' Kalen asked.

'Kalen, I don't know anything about babies. Maybe you should ask... um... You could try Carth I guess, since he's a father... or maybe the senator. She'd probably know more than Carth would.'

'I don't want anyone else to know,' Kalen wailed.

'Sweetie, I don't think that you could hide it for too long,' Alexis said with a chuckle.

'But what if I'm wrong?'

'We Jedi are fairly perceptive. You're probably spot on. But if it's proof you want, you'll have to wait a few days, I'd wager. Talk to the senator. If you're wrong, she won't laugh at you. I think that she takes things like that very seriously.'

'This isn't a very good time for me to be pregnant,' Kalen said quietly.

'If you are, there's nothing we can do about it. You'll be almost normal for the first couple of months anyway, won't you?'

'I just don't know,' Kalen replied.

'Force, this is pathetic: two grown women who don't know a thing about childbirth or pregnancy. Maybe when we've rebuilt the Jedi Order, we should make sure that Padawans are informed about these things.'

'Don't you think that that might give them the wrong idea?'

'I didn't think of that,' Alexis said. 'Who would teach it, anyway? Obviously neither one of us would be very good at it.'

Kalen's pained expression was so comical that Alexis couldn't contain her laughter. 'It's not that funny,' Kalen said dismally.

'I thought that you wanted children.'

'I did. I just didn't want them quite this soon. How can help you rebuild the Jedi Order when I'm pregnant? We don't even know if a pregnant woman can use the Force.'

'I sincerely doubt that a baby would interfere. If I were you, I'd be a little more worried about my lightsaber technique. It won't take you long to become very unbalanced.'

'You're enjoying this, aren't you?' Kalen asked.

'Only a little,' Alexis replied, smiling.

'I'll laugh when the same thing happens to you,' Kalen told her rather spitefully.

Alexis's smile faded. 'I thought we'd talked about this. I really doubt that I can have children in the first place.'

'It would serve you right if you were wrong.'

'It's not like Atton's going to leave you, Kalen,' Alexis told her calmly.

'How could you possibly know that?' Kalen asked quickly.

'How can you doubt him? He's head-over-heels in love with you.'

'We don't know each other well enough for this,' Kalen said quietly. 'We should have been together for at least two years before we even considered children.'

'It doesn't seem like you've considered them yet. You could still consider them later, if you'd like.'

'Ha, ha.'

'You know,' Alexis began in a deceptively off-hand manner, 'even I know that there are ways to prevent this sort of thing.'

Kalen's answer was an indelicate snort. 'Thank you. I had no idea.'

'So... if you did know about said preventative methods, how did you come to be in this condition?'

'I'm sure it was magic,' Kalen said dully.

At the downcast look on Kalen's face, Alexis sobered immediately. 'Kalen... everything will turn out okay, I promise.'

'You can't make that promise,' Kalen responded.

'I can and I am. Pregnant or not, Atton's going to stick around. I'll make him, if I have to. And we'll bring back the Jedi and we'll help the Republic, no matter what. It doesn't matter if you can't swing a lightsaber. We don't keep you around just for your muscles, dear heart. Your mind is just as important.'

'You use nicknames when you're being placating, you know,' Kalen said, a smile returning to her face.

'Yes. It's a nasty habit. It always gives me away.'

---

'It's been very hard to hide my suspicions from Atton,' Kalen confided. 'Our minds are so closely linked now that sometimes I have a hard time telling where he ends and I begin.'

'It must be nice,' Alexis said wistfully.

'Actually, it makes things a little harder. I think that sometimes we find out things about one another that we'd rather not have known. There are things that people just shouldn't tell each other. We really don't have much of a choice.'

'You'll probably be closer for it in the end.'

'So long as he sticks around.'

'You ought to know him well enough to know that he won't leave you.'

'You aren't the one that he flat-out told that he was a deserter.'

'No. I'm the one that he deserted. I don't think he'll leave you, Kalen. You have to give him a chance.'

'Do you think that I should tell him?' Kalen asked apprehensively.

Alexis shook her head. 'Not yet. I'd wait until I knew for sure, if I were you.'

Kalen nodded. 'It's going to take a lot of work to keep it from him.'

'Keep him distracted. I'll help you. We'll start having lightsaber practice sessions and teaching new Force techniques. He'll be too busy to try to find out just what you're hiding.'

'You don't think all of the work will hurt the baby, do you?' Kalen asked nervously.

'I'm fairly sure that a certain amount of exercise is good for pregnant women, and if you are carrying a baby, you're not very far along. You'll be fine,' Alexis assured her.

Kalen pressed her palm to her flat stomach and stared at it sadly. 'I wonder if it will ever look like this again...'

'If I were you, I'd take a good, hard look at my toes. You may not see them for a while,' Alexis said with undisguised mirth.

Kalen obediently raised her feet, clad only in short white socks, and sighed. 'I'll miss you guys,' she said, reaching forward to pat them fondly.

'Hmm. Talking to our toes now, are we? Have you named them yet?' Carth asked as he approached them from across the room. Alexis was surprised that she hadn't noticed him coming.

'I was just-,' Kalen began, lowering her feet sheepishly.

Carth cut her off, forestalling her with a raised palm. 'It's fine. No one needs a reason to have conversations with their own feet. They are yours, after all. If you want to talk to them, by all means, go for it. I would suggest doing in private next time, though. It does look a little crazy.'

Alexis turned her head to smile at Carth. He smiled back at her and they stared at one another for several seconds. Kalen coughed loudly to distract them. Alexis turned to her guiltily. 'Sorry,' she muttered, flushing.

'You two are so cute that it makes me sick,' Kalen said, feigning disgust. The smile on her face told Alexis that she heartily approved, however.

'I've always dreamed of being disgustingly cute,' Carth murmured, grinning.

Alexis laughed lightly. 'You've always been disgustingly cute. You just didn't know it.'

'Can't I be handsome or dashing?' Carth asked, turning his head this way and that, posing. 'Cute isn't a very masculine word.'

'Nope. I think that cute suits you,' Kalen told him.

Alexis nodded her agreement. 'Adorable would work as well. You remind me of a stuffed toy or a doll. I just want to cuddle you: maybe even tie a bow in your hair.'

'I'll go for the cuddling, but the bow's taking it a little far,' Carth said.

'A pink one, I think,' Kalen said, ignoring Carth.

'Orange is better. It would match his jacket.'

'I'd forgotten about that jacket,' Kalen said, glancing over at him. He wasn't wearing it. In fact, he was wearing a very large dark blue sweatshirt and black pants.

'With that outfit, maybe a white one would look best,' Alexis said.

'Would you two stop talking about bows? You'll never manage to get one on me,' Carth said.

'Have you ever heard of Force stasis?' Alexis asked him.

'You wouldn't,' Carth said. Kalen laughed.

'No, but it is fun to consider...' Alexis replied.

'You could always tie him up with the ribbon,' Kalen said, grinning.

'I would have thought that someone in your predicament would be leery of such things,' Alexis suggested with a sardonic smile.

'Don't you dare,' Kalen said quickly.

'No, I wouldn't do that, either.'

'What are you two hiding?' Carth asked, glancing back and forth between them.

'Nothing,' they responded at the same time.

'How innocent you sound,' Carth remarked.

'I'm perfectly innocent,' Alexis murmured.

'Not so much anymore,' Carth said, grinning.

Alexis blushed again. She pressed her hands to her cheeks. 'I'm going to have to learn how to control this blushing thing before I turn permanently red. Obviously the reasons to blush aren't going to go away, so the reaction itself has to go.'

'It's kind of cute,' Kalen pointed out.

'No, it would only be cute if I were still four years old.'

'You're hardly taller than a four-year-old,' Carth observed in a clinical tone of voice.

'I could still take you out,' Alexis said, standing up beside him and putting her hands on her hips.

Carth spread his hands wide as if inviting her to tackle him. 'I think that I told you that you could do whatever you wanted with me.'

'Kinky,' Kalen muttered in the background.

Alexis turned to glare at her. 'If I were you, I'd be a little nicer to me.'

Kalen's eyes widened and she immediately folded her arms over her chest and rose to stand beside Alexis. 'Watch what you say to her,' Kalen ordered him, narrowing her eyes and trying to look intimidating.

'So... what sort of secret is Alexis keeping for you?' Carth asked, chuckling.

Kalen's stare faltered and she looked away. 'What secret?' Alexis asked brightly.

Kalen groaned. 'Don't try to help me, Lexi. You're a terrible liar.'

'I thought you said that all Jedi were bad liars,' Alexis said indignantly.

'Mostly you,' Kalen said with a laugh.

'Remember when we talked about you being nicer to me?'

Carth laughed. 'You two are happy this morning.'

'You're one to talk,' Kalen said.

'It's a stress relief technique,' Alexis told him, with false solemnity. 'If everything's funny, you don't have to take anything seriously.'

'That's the truth,' Carth replied.

Kalen glanced back at the door that led out of the common room. 'I think I'm going to wander over to the cafeteria and find Atton. I'm kind of hungry after all.'

Alexis shrugged. 'Suit yourself.'

Carth and Alexis watched as Kalen left the common room. It didn't take Carth long to catch her gaze. 'What was that all about?' he asked.

'It's not really mine to tell...' Alexis said.

Carth's eyebrows raised and he waited, crossing his arms. Alexis sat back on the couch. She could wait, too. When she still hadn't said anything else after two or three minutes, Carth sighed and sat down beside her. 'You're really not going to tell me?'

'I told you, I can't. It's not my secret.' Carth frowned at her. 'Don't look at me like that,' Alexis warned, feeling her resolve fading.

'I understand. The secrets between friends are a sacred thing. I wouldn't want to upset that. You don't have to tell me anything,' Carth said with mock sincerity.

Alexis knew he was manipulating her. It was obvious. What was also obvious was that it was working. She struggled to contain herself, glaring at him from beneath furrowed eyebrows. 'I certainly don't,' she said, more to herself than to him. He put on a hurt expression. 'Would you stop that?' Alexis said irritably.

Carth pulled her against him and she pretended to fight for a moment before relaxing against his shoulder. He grinned down at her. 'Stop what?' he asked.

'Trying to play games with my head.'

'I would never-,' Carth began.

Alexis gave up all at once. 'Kalen thinks she's pregnant,' she said rapidly before she changed her mind.

Carth jerked slightly in surprise. 'What?'

'Kalen might be pregnant.'

After a moment, Carth shrugged. 'It shouldn't surprise you, not after the way she and Atton chase each other around the bedroom.'

'But- do you really think that they're ready? They aren't married and they haven't even known each other for more than a few months. And... we've got a lot to do... the Jedi and the Republic and all of those Sith that keep popping up... Where's the baby going to fit in?'

'They aren't alone, you know.'

'What's that supposed to mean?'

'I mean that if Kalen is pregnant, she doesn't have to raise her baby alone. First of all, she has Atton, and when they're tired, the rest of us can help out. Since Kalen doesn't have a family, we'll just have to give her one.'

Alexis stared at Carth. That hadn't even occurred to her. They were a lot like a family, even now. Love, laughter, fighting, and friendship... those were all things that made up a family. They might not all be blood related, but they did have the qualifications. Families took care of each other, through thick and thin. 'You're right,' Alexis said softly.

'What's so bad about children, anyway?' Carth asked her.

'The timing's off,' Alexis replied.

'How does Kalen feel about it?'

'Kalen's always been the motherly sort. I think she'll love having a baby.'

'So what's she worried about?'

'She's worried about how Atton will feel about it.'

Carth smiled at her. 'Atton's excited about it.'

'How do you know?'

'He told me.'

'He knows that she pregnant?' Alexis exclaimed.

'No. He doesn't know,' Carth assured her. 'Do you remember that time when we were in that Restoration Zone on Telos and you and Kalen talked about having children? Atton was awake. He came and talked to me about it. He mentioned that Kalen sounded like she wanted to have his kids. He seemed pretty happy.'

'Really?' Alexis said. 'Do you mind if I tell her that?'

'Go for it.'

Alexis bit her lip, remembering the rest of that particular conversation. How much had Atton told Carth? And what exactly had Atton heard, anyway? 'Is that all Atton told you?'

'Yeah. Why?' Carth said.

'I just thought that he might have mentioned- Well... never mind.'

Carth watched her quietly, his dark brown eyes searching her face. He touched her cheek gently, almost reverently. 'You can tell me, beautiful. I won't be upset.'

'I don't want to disappoint you,' Alexis told him softly.

'Lexi, you won't disappoint me.'

'I think that it might.'

'You don't want children, do you?' he asked.

'This is all so new, Carth. Are you sure you really want to talk about children?' Alexis asked him. Everything was coming at her so quickly. If she weren't careful, she'd be overwhelmed. Emotions were a hard thing to cope with when one was used to ignoring them.

'Would you rather if we talked about whether or not you were willing to marry me first?'

Alexis's eyes widened. 'I don't think that this is the right time for that,' she said, a bit too harshly.

Carth nodded. 'Sorry. We can- uh- talk about something else, then.'

Alexis felt badly about the tone she'd used. She just wasn't ready for this. It took her a while to adjust to all of these new feelings. 'I'll at least answer your question. Do I want children? Well, I've never honestly thought about it.'

'That's fine,' Carth assured her.

'You didn't let me finish. I haven't even gotten to the disappointing part,' Alexis informed him.

'Alexis...' Carth said uneasily.

'No, listen. I don't think that I'll ever be able to have children, Carth. It's got nothing to do with whether or not I want them. No one who's turned to the dark side has ever conceived a child after their fall. I'm-,' she paused for a moment before rushing on, 'I'm probably barren.'

Alexis couldn't have missed the flicker of pain in Carth's eyes if she'd tried. He masked it well, but he was clearly disheartened by the news. 'I have a son, Alexis. I don't need anymore,' he said staunchly.

Alexis took a deep breath and plastered a smile on her face. 'Let's... let's go find him, then. I think that he and Mira are still having problems and he'll need some cheering up. Besides, it's time that we got started on his Jedi training. A bit of lightsaber work wouldn't hurt him. In fact, it would probably be good for everyone.' Alexis stood up.

'Are you all right?' Carth asked her, his voice mirroring the concern on his face.

Alexis nodded. 'I'm fine. I- have to go and change clothes. I can't work out in these. I'll be back.' Alexis turned her back to him and fled. She knew that she was running away, but she couldn't stop herself. It was impossible for her to get real pain she'd seen in Carth's eyes out of her head.