Destiny: Part V

Alexis Revan, curled up in Carth's bed in his apartment on Telos, watched her host dress for work from beneath hooded eyelids. He knew she was awake, he'd seen her looking at him when he first got up, and yet he hadn't left the room. He was paying her no attention now as he fastened his pants. She'd seen nothing terribly indecent, as he was wearing shorts before, but it was still an odd experience. She felt a bit guilty, as if she were some sort of pervert, but she was certain that he knew that she was awake.

As Carth tugged on his t-shirt, Alexis watched the play of the muscles across his back. Her mouth was dry. Something was going to have to give soon or she was going to go mad. Alexis shut her eyes and took a deep, calming breath as quietly as she could. Her eyes popped back open of their own accord.

Why did the man have to look so damnably good in black? It was as if he'd gone out of his way to strain her self-control to its absolute limits. He was fastening his boots now. They were black, too. Everything he was wearing was sinfully tight and black. Alexis almost burst into hysterical giggles. Who knew anything so dark could be so tempting? Well, at least he was fully clothed now.

Alexis sensed Carth starting to turn around and shut her eyes tightly. The low, quiet chuckle she heard from across the room did nothing to calm her down. He thought it was funny, did he? Well, she certainly didn't. It wasn't funny at all. She could barely contain herself, and he was laughing at her.

Carth's hand lightly brushed her forehead and Alexis's eyes opened once again. 'Good morning,' he said in a friendly tone, as if he hadn't just changed clothes right in front of her. Why had it been so fascinating, anyway? She'd seen him in nothing but his pants before. Were shorts somehow different? Or was it the fact that she'd watched him performing the intimate act of changing clothing that had her in knots?

'Hello,' she replied, sounding strained even to her own ears. If he didn't move soon, she was going to lunge off of this bed and tackle him, Jedi Code be damned. That thought brought her back to her senses.

There is no emotion, there is peace.

There is no ignorance, there is knowledge.

There is no passion, there is serenity. She almost started laughing. Oh yes there was. She tried again.

There is no chaos, there is harmony.

There is no death, there is the Force.

'Is everything okay?' Carth asked her.

Alexis took another deep breath and swung her legs over the side of the bed and stood up. 'Planning on doing any smuggling today?' she asked, motioning towards his outfit.

Carth looked down at his attire. 'Actually, not having any droids does have its drawbacks. I haven't done laundry in a while,' Carth replied.

'I'll do it,' Alexis volunteered a bit too quickly. She'd do laundry for three straight weeks to keep him from putting that back on. Wait a minute... he was leaving the apartment that way? Where other people could see him? Alexis eyed his outfit speculatively. That would not do.

'I couldn't ask you to do my laundry. I'll take to the cleaners tonight,' Carth said, shaking his head.

'You know, I haven't seen your orange jacket in a while...' Alexis said hopefully: anything to cover up the muscles that were still clearly visible beneath the shirt. Please, find it for my sanity, she willed him. She couldn't decide if he knew what effect he was having on her. She'd thought that he did, right at first, but now she wasn't so sure.

'It's somewhere with the rest of my dirty clothes,' he said, strapping on a blaster holster. Where was he going, anyway?

'You still haven't told me what you're going to do today,' Alexis said finally.

'I'm going to inspect a ship and do a bit of repair work. I thought I'd even stop by and see if Atton wanted to give me a hand. It's a Republic transporter,' Carth replied.

'There isn't anyone else on planet with the qualifications?' Alexis asked suspiciously. Admirals didn't do mechanical work on ships, did they?

'Well, Atton. And Bao-Dur, from what I've heard,' Carth said easily, fitting his blasters into the holsters.

'And the blasters...'

'I always wear them. They're just normally under my jacket,' Carth said reasonably.

Alexis sighed. Whew. When had she become so nosy? 'Well, you kids have fun, then.'

Carth gave her a half-smile and started to leave them room. Alexis wished she'd turned away. The things that those pants did for that man's butt...

Two hours later, Alexis made her way onto the Ebon Hawk with Dustil Onasi in tow. He made his way to Mira's side almost instantly. Alexis had to hide her smile. It certainly hadn't taken them long. Canderous arrived beside her just as Dustil was leaving.

'Are we planning to get out of here any time soon? All of this sitting around is starting to grate on my nerves,' Canderous growled in her ear.

'Actually, we're leaving in a few days. I've got to talk to Senator Seraph again tomorrow, and then the day after, we'll pick up my Jedi robes and leave for Coruscant.'

'Because Coruscant will be so much more interesting than here,' Canderous said darkly.

'Oh Canderous, you can use your rifle again soon. I have a feeling that things will become a lot more exciting once I've revealed myself,' Alexis said in a comforting tone.

'A few thugs are no challenge for a Mandalorian,' Canderous replied in a manner that seemed suspiciously haughty...

'Aw, come on Canderous. You can be my personal bodyguard,' Alexis replied with a grin.

'I don't think there will be any room for me with that Republic soldier and his toy blasters flanking you like a shadow,' Canderous snarled half-heartedly.

Alexis gave him a friendly pat on the arm. 'I know your gun's bigger than his, Canderous.' She gave him a wicked smile.

'And yet you still picked Republic boy. I'll never understand women,' Canderous replied, motioning at her with his blaster rifle.

'Nor should you. Where is Kalen?' Alexis asked, glancing around the hold to see if anyone else was present.

'How should I know?'

'I think we need to get you something to shoot very soon. You're awfully grouchy.'

'Mandalorians are never grouchy,' Canderous said with a snort.

'So, the way you're acting now, that's just...'

'Boredom.'

'I see. Well, I'm going to go and find Kalen. You just stay here and be bored in peace,' Alexis fled before Canderous could reply.

As Alexis made her way back towards the girls' dormitory, she heard muffled voices coming from the main hold. She tiptoed towards it, not really certain why she should be interested, but curious nonetheless.

'Are you scared?' Alexis heard Mira whisper. Alexis peered around the corner. Mira had Dustil pressed to the wall. She had one hand against his chest and the other gripped his belt. Both of them were breathing harshly.

'Do I look scared?' Dustil said in return, grinning down at her.

'Not nearly scared enough,' Mira said in reply, slamming him back against the wall again with the heel of her hand. Dustil didn't struggle or fight back, he just waited, smiling.

Mira snarled in frustration and turned away, preparing to leave. Dustil caught her by the arm and spun her back against his chest. He crushed her to him and swooped down, planting his mouth firmly on hers. Mira struggled weakly for a few seconds before melting against him. Her hands went to his hair and his curled around her back and neck.

Alexis walked away, sensing that that moment was too private for her to be privy to. She was unable to contain her smile, however, and when she finally encountered Kalen, she was still laughing softly to herself.

'What's funny?' Kalen asked, standing as Alexis entered the dormitory.

'Dustil and Mira,' Alexis said, motioning back towards the hold.

Kalen laughed as well. 'They're both very emotional, aren't they?'

'You could call it that.'

'I hear that Dustil has agreed to becoming a Jedi,' Kalen said conversationally.

'Well, it's clear that he'll be as much a Jedi as we are, but that was to be expected. The first true Jedi to return to the galaxy will probably have to be children that we train from their youth,' Alexis replied. 'He's already a bit too corrupt.'

'Mira saw to that.'

'I think that she had help. What do you day we head back over to Carth's apartment? We can escape the lovebirds there.'

'Sounds good to me.'

Alexis and Kalen arrived at the exit after taking the long way around. Mical was already standing next to the ramp. 'Going somewhere, Mical?' Alexis asked.

Mical grimaced. 'I'm attempting to escape the rendezvous that seems to be occurring in the main hold.'

Kalen held out her arm. 'Join us, then? We're heading over to Carth's apartment for the same reason.'

Mical took her proffered arm gingerly. He offered his other arm to Alexis, who took it after flipping up her hood. 'Off we go,' Alexis said, tugging them off of the ship.

Things were never awkward between Mical and Kalen because she didn't know that there was a reason that they should be. Alexis thought that this was probably a blessing. 'You don't think Visas or Canderous...' Alexis said as they were walking away.

'No. They like being alone too much for that,' Kalen replied with a shrug. They arrived at Carth's apartment shortly thereafter. After a cursory check to be certain they didn't have any unwanted company, the trio all took seats on the couch.

'So, now that we're here, what are we going to do?' Kalen asked, leaning back and slinging her arms behind her head.

'What were you going to do before you were interrupted?' Alexis asked.

Kalen sighed. 'Do you mean before or after Carth took Atton away? Which reminds me... What was Carth wearing? He looked excellent this morning.'

Alexis turned and glared at her. If Kalen had noticed, so had every other female on the Citadel. Oh well. At least he probably wouldn't act on the extra attention. 'He says that all of his clothes are dirty. He told me he'd have to have his things taken to the cleaners tonight.'

'Maybe you should hide the rest of his clothes. Or buy him more like those,' Kalen said thoughtfully.

'I'm not entirely comfortable with this line of conversation,' Mical inserted in a strangled manner.

Both Kalen and Alexis turned to glare at Mical and he flushed and went quiet at once. 'It won't hurt you to listen for a few more minutes. We won't talk about this for long,' Kalen said.

'Anyway, if he keeps dressing like that, I'm not sure I'll be able to function normally,' Alexis said.

'I might not either.'

'Watch it.'

'So what were he and Atton and Bao-Dur up to this morning?'

'Carth said something about working on a Republic transporter.'

'The transport that is supposed to take us to Coruscant is here,' Mical interrupted.

'We're taking a transport? I thought we'd all be on the Hawk,' Kalen said, frowning.

'Well, actually, the Ebon Hawk is going to hitch a ride on the transport ship with us,' Mical replied. 'They didn't tell you?'

'No,' Alexis replied slowly. 'When did they tell you?'

'This morning. Didn't you ask?' Mical said earnestly.

Alexis sighed. 'No. That never even occurred to me.'

'So much for the acclaimed Jedi perceptions,' Kalen said.

'Well, what are we going to do for the rest of today? Everyone else is otherwise occupied,' Alexis asked, shifting slightly so that she could rest her head in the seat beside her.

'We could go and watch Carth work,' Kalen said hopefully.

Alexis glanced at Mical out of the corner of her eye. He looked a little pained, but otherwise all right for the moment. 'You are absolutely insufferable.'

'If I might make a suggestion,' Mical said quietly, 'I think that we might enjoy hitting the swoop track here.'

'I love swoop racing!' Alexis said enthusiastically.

'When did you learn how to swoop race?' Kalen asked skeptically.

'When Carth and I were trying to get Bastila off of Taris. I won her when I raced for one of the Lower City gangs,' Alexis said.

'You were a swoop racer for a gang on Taris?' Mical said incredulously.

Alexis grinned. 'I was the best swoop racer on Taris. I did have a few things going for me, though. The Hidden Beks put me on a bike with a prototype accelerator that was absolutely amazing, and I did have Jedi reflexes to fall back on, even if I didn't know it at the time.'

'I am quite the swoop racer myself,' Mical said in a less than humble tone.

'Is that a challenge?' Alexis asked.

'Simply a statement,' Mical replied with a smile.

'I see. I think that we'll have to put that statement to the test. To the swoop track, my friends?' Alexis asked.

Kalen was smiling from ear to ear. 'I don't race myself, but this looks like it could be entertaining.'

'Of that I have no doubt,' Mical replied.

---

Mical proved to be quite the swoop racer. He wiped the floor with all of the regular riders and even a few who had come from off-planet. The only person he couldn't beat was Alexis. Where he was practical and in control, she was psychotic, bouncing and weaving across the track for all she was worth. He simply couldn't match her wanton disregard for her own safety.

Alexis, dressed in her usual bounty hunter garb, made her way back over to Mical, a brilliant smile on her face. He was shaking his head. 'That was the most terrifying spectacle I have seen yet,' Mical said, clasping her hand.

Kalen was laughing. 'I almost want to learn how to do that, just so I can make the people on the sidelines shriek with fright like you do.'

'How long have you been racing?' Mical asked her.

'The only other time I've ever raced was those two runs back on Taris.'

'You're serious? I've been doing this all of my life and I can't handle a bike the way you do,' Mical replied.

Alexis grinned. 'We'd better head back to the apartment before someone else challenges me. I've found that the planet's swoop champion will get a lot of acclaim.'

They raced back to Carth's apartment, laughing the whole way. When they arrived, Atton and Bao-Dur were standing in the living room, munching on sandwiches.

'Hello...' Kalen said upon entering. Alexis ran into her back and Mical plowed into them both, knocking both Kalen and Alexis to the floor. Mical stumbled inside and the door shut behind them. Mical looked around the room, blushing profusely.

Alexis chose not to get up. Kalen rose half-heartedly, pushing herself into a seated position and propping her back up against the wall. Alexis stared at the men in the living room from her position on the floor. 'How's it going?' Mical made his way across the living room and sat down in one of the chairs, muttering apologies and trying to remain inconspicuous.

'Where have you all been?' Atton asked, lounging casually against the wall.

'Swoop track,' Alexis responded when Kalen would not.

Bao-Dur was watching Kalen with interested eyes. 'Do you race, General?'

Kalen laughed. 'No. I'm not that crazy. Alexis is, though. She beat Mical by at least two seconds.'

'Surprise, surprise,' Atton said with a laugh.

Mical cast a hurt look at Atton, who grinned back at him. Alexis glared at him. 'Leave him alone, Atton.'

'I was only pointing out the fact that you are an amazing woman, Alexis,' he said in return.

'I'm sure that's all,' Alexis replied with a laugh. 'So, why are you all here?'

'You're surprised to see our smiling faces?' Atton asked, feigning offense.

Kalen shrugged. 'Not really. We just wanted to know why you weren't still working on that ship with Carth.'

'Carth got called away for a meeting. We're going to meet him again in an hour or so,' Bao-Dur replied for Atton.

'That's too bad. That was an excellent outfit he was wearing,' Kalen replied.

'Hey!' Atton said sharply.

'What?' Kalen asked innocently, batting her eyes at him. Alexis stole a glance at Mical. He was staring out the window.

Atton looked as if he wished he hadn't said anything. 'Nothing. I was just looking out for Lexi's interests.'

'Is that all?' Alexis asked.

Atton nodded. 'Yeah. That's all.'

Kalen sighed. 'Lexi can look out for herself,' she said, 'but can Carth? I can't believe you all left him alone in those pants.'

'What's so great about his pants?' Atton asked harshly, glaring at her.

'He wasn't alone. Seré was with him,' Bao-Dur said.

'Those pants are the Force's gift to womankind,' Kalen said with a grin.

Atton gave her a sullen look and tossed away his sandwich. 'Suddenly I've lost my appetite.'

'You said Seré's with him?' Mical asked, speaking up for the first time since they'd arrived.

'Yeah. Jealous 'cause she won't even take a look at you?' Atton responded.

Mical looked down. Alexis hated the way he gave in so easily when Atton pressured him. If Mical would only learn to defend himself, he would be a much stronger man. Alexis didn't mind that Carth was with Seré. She knew that was why Mical had asked.

'Oh Atton,' Kalen said, shaking her head.

'Listen,' Alexis said, changing the subject abruptly, 'why don't you guys try to convince Carth that we all need to head down to the restoration zones for the evening? I have a feeling that we won't see Telos for a very long time after we leave.'

Kalen glanced over at her. 'That's a good idea. I haven't seen a tree in a few months.'

'I'll miss Telos, once we are gone,' Bao-Dur said.

'I'm game,' Atton said with a shrug. 'You can only get drunk and play pazaak so many nights in a row.'

'Mical?' Alexis asked when the Disciple did not respond immediately.

'I'll go,' he answered quietly.

Alexis smiled at him 'Great. Maybe we can dry Atton out for the evening. I think that his liver will thank us one day.' Mical's returning smile was weak at best.

Carth opened the door to his apartment, glad to finally be home. He wouldn't be there for long since Alexis wanted to take a trip to the planet's surface, but he hoped to at least see her once before they rejoined her friends. He wasn't disappointed; she was sitting on his couch, brushing her long hair.

Carth shut the door behind him and walked over to her side. 'Where's Dustil?' Carth asked idly. He thought he knew the answer. The boy was probably wherever the bounty hunter was.

'He's on the Ebon Hawk with everyone else, waiting for you to tell us where our transport it,' Alexis replied, tossing her brush aside and starting to tie up her hair.

Carth watched her eyes flit across his body before she turned away. So, he was having an effect on her after all. Good. He'd certainly meant to. He'd lain in bed for ten extra minutes this morning trying to decide how to upset her imperturbable Jedi façade. He'd chosen the simplest solution: wear something that she wouldn't be able to keep her eyes off of.

It was too bad that while it had impressed Alexis, it had also impressed Seré and several other women he ran into during the day. He'd never had to turn down so many dinner invitations in one day.

Carth rubbed his hand idly across his stomach. The pants were uncomfortable. How did women manage to wear pants that were that tight every day? Carth shook his head. At least Alexis was interested, even if she didn't seem to want to admit it to herself.

'Well, I'm ready whenever you are,' he replied. So much for alone time. She was distracted and he wasn't sure what to do or say to change that.

Alexis stood, shoving the last strand of hair into place. 'Do you want me to just tell them where to meet us, or do you want to walk over and get them?'

Carth glanced at the clock. 'Let's just meet them there. The transport is in a shuttle bay only a few doors down from where the Ebon Hawk is docked.'

'So, who's flying?'

'I am. Atton offered, but I turned him down. I know where we're going and he doesn't.'

'We're not going to the same spot as last time, are we?'

'No. It's on the other side of the planet.'

Alexis shrugged. 'Okay. Take us where you will.'

Carth smiled faintly and offered her his hand. She stared at him for a few seconds before taking it, as if afraid he would bite her. Carth used his free hand to flip up her hood. 'Can't be too careful,' he said in response to her questioning glance as he led her from the apartment.

The subsequent walk and flight took place in relative silence. It seemed that everyone was anxious to reach the planet's surface. When they arrived, everyone crawled off of the ship and looked about in wonder.

Carth had chosen a place that was at the foot of the largest mountain range that Telos had. The area had taken very little damage, but it had only recently been added to the shield network. The landscape was rugged and green and the air was warm, but not hot. A small lake was nestled just at the base of one of the nearby mountains. To their left was a vast forest. Though it was still relatively healthy, most of the animals that had originally inhabited the area were dead and the slight shimmer of the shield was visible just overhead. It wasn't ideal, but it was one of the most beautiful places on Telos.

Carth glanced at the startled faces around him. It didn't look like any of them known this was here. Even Dustil looked a little surprised. 'I didn't remember home looking like this,' he said softly, his eyes wide.

Carth grinned. 'What do you guys think?'

Alexis made her way to his side and took his hand. He was surprised, once again, that she had touched him of her own accord. 'It's beautiful,' she whispered. He was surprised to see tears glistening on her cheeks. Kalen was wiping at her eyes as well.

Carth had never seen Alexis cry. He hadn't known that she knew how. He stood there, staring at her, unsure of what to do. Why was she upset? Was there something wrong? Carth glanced around frantically, trying to figure out what was going on. Alexis looked just as mystified as he was. 'I'm crying?' she said, staring at the moisture on her fingertips.

Carth had just decided that the best course of action was to take her in his arms when Kalen caught her in a gentle hug. 'Oh, Lexi...' she said quietly. Why were they crying?

'What's going on?' Carth asked finally.

'We've been here before,' Kalen responded, staring at the mountains over Alexis's shoulder.

'Kavar brought us here when we were children. I had no idea that it was on Telos,' Alexis added. She pulled away from Kalen to stare at the landscape. Carth was still a little perplexed. They were crying because they'd been here before?

Kalen was slowly turning, taking in all of the faces around her. Finally, she must have seen that they still didn't understand, because she began to explain. 'Kavar and several other masters were teaching all of the padawans in our age group about the living Force. They each picked three apprentices and took them to a planet they would not recognize to stay in the wilderness for two days to feel the Force around us. Kavar brought Alexis, Malak, and I here. None of us had any idea that we had been on Telos all along.'

'That still doesn't explain why you're crying,' Atton pointed out, staring at Kalen in much the same way Carth assumed he'd been staring at Alexis: concerned fear.

'It's the same. Everything here feels the same,' Alexis whispered, kneeling down to press her palms gently to the ground. She shut her eyes and took a deep breath. Even Carth could feel the deep serenity radiating from her.

'What do you mean, the same?' Mira asked, looking around as if the very grass might spring to life and bite her.

'How can nothing have changed?' Mical asked. 'Malak practically destroyed Telos. Nothing is as it was before.'

'I don't know. That doesn't make much sense, does it?' Kalen asked, turning to Alexis.

Alexis opened her eyes. 'I don't know either.'

Dustil was smiling. 'I've never been here before, but I know what you're feeling. Everything here exudes a sort of warm peace. You can't stretch out very far, or it fades away, but right here, in this spot, it feels as if everything is okay.'

Everyone grew quiet and still. He knew they were all reaching out to feel what the others were describing. Carth felt an acute sense of loss. He would never know what they meant.

He turned away from them, but Alexis caught his hand once again. He turned to look at her and she tenderly placed her hands on either side of his head. He stared at her blankly for a second. 'Trust me?' she whispered.

Carth nodded mutely. She shut her eyes. 'Close your eyes,' she whispered, and Carth did as she asked. For a moment, nothing happened, and then he felt her. It was as if Alexis was inside of him, a part of him.

He tried to shut her out, for a moment, he was so afraid, but he heard her make a soft, soothing noise in the back of her throat and he gave in. The sensation was amazing. He felt as if he were floating. Everything was calm and peaceful, warm, but not unpleasantly so. He could feel the way it was all connected, how everything meshed together.

He could feel the damage to the planet, hovering at the edges of his awareness, but Alexis pulled him away from it, back towards the things around them. He could feel his son, strong and proud, and Kalen, gentle and loving. He could feel Mira's fire and Atton's intelligence, Bao-Dur's devotion and the Disciple's tranquility. Most of all, he could feel Alexis, every inch of her.

Alexis pulled back slowly and Carth had to force himself to release her. He opened his eyes and had to blink back the tears that blurred his vision. 'How...' he began, barely able to speak.

'I couldn't have done it if you weren't force-sensitive yourself,' she said softly, lowering her hands.

'Is that what it's like? Every time?' Carth asked.

Atton responded from a few feet away. 'Every time.' Carth watched as Atton gathered Kalen to his side. She didn't resist, and he draped his arm around her shoulder. She slid her arm around his waist, a shy smile lighting her face.

Carth glanced down at Alexis again. She was grinning in a self-satisfied sort of way. 'Now you know,' she said. Carth sat down rather abruptly. It was too much to take in all at once.

---

Alexis glanced over at Carth, who was still sitting on the ground. Most of the others had taken seats as well, soaking up the aura of this place while they could. Kalen was still resting in Atton's arms, all awkwardness forgotten. Mira and Dustil were holding hands, whispering back and forth to one another about the wonder of it all. Carth still looked shell-shocked.

Alexis had been worried at first that once she had connected with Carth, she would be unable to pull away. It had been hard to draw back, but she realized now that she'd never be able to fully extract herself from him again. Carth was too much a part of her for her to let go.

She wondered if he knew. It scared her, a little bit, to be connected so deeply to another. It was shocking to find that there was a sense of incompleteness that could feel so right. He was still watching the ground. Had she shown him too much at once? No. He was all right. He'd just never seen the Force before.

Alexis turned and walked a few feet away from the group. So this was what they had meant all along. Jolee must have thought her a complete fool. Telos was home as much as any other planet could be home. She had no special connection to it, though she did have fond memories of this place.

Carth was home. Wherever Carth was, Alexis would feel safe and protected. Home is where the heart is. Why did clichés always ring true in the end? Alexis smiled at herself. And they called Atton the fool. It had been staring her in the face the whole time. Or rather, Carth had.

He loved her and Force help her, she loved him, more than she loved breathing. It was no use pretending any longer that the feelings did not exist. It didn't matter whom she admitted it to. It never had. She'd loved him from the moment she laid eyes on him and would until her dying day. Even if she'd never told him how she felt, the feelings would have been there.

What had she been hiding from? It didn't matter if he knew. Love that she did not admit existed would lead just as quickly to the dark side as love that she had accepted for what it was. But neither one had to. She had a choice. Love wasn't dangerous or evil. It was beautiful.

Her denial had only been causing Carth pain. She had felt the soul-searing ache of it the moment she'd slipped into his mind. She was killing him slowly, ignoring what there was between them. And she intended to stop as soon as she was able.

Alexis sighed softly and fiddled with the sleeve of her shirt. The only problem was that she was still afraid. Alexis felt Carth's arms go around her from behind. She relaxed against him for a moment, and he carefully tightened his grip. Alexis smiled. 'Thank you,' he whispered in her ear.

'No, thank you,' she said in return, meaning it. If Carth hadn't brought her here, she might never have had this experience, this awakening.

'Did the Force bring us here?' Carth asked.

'There are no coincidences,' she replied. She turned in his arms slowly and wrapped her arms around his chest. He was surprised, she could tell, but also pleased. Neither of them spoke. She held on for a moment before stepping out of his embrace. This wasn't the place. Not with so many people around. Disappointment registered on his features. She resisted the urge to leap at him again. Later, she promised herself.

Alexis stood beside Kalen, trying her hardest not to laugh. She was trying to show Atton a new lightsaber form. He'd fallen on his butt no less than forty times in the last ten minutes. Every time one of them showed him how, he'd attempt to copy it in exactly the same manner. Needless to say, he failed every time.

'Is this some kind of test? Like how many times I fall on my ass before I call it quits? Checking for determination or something?' Atton asked. Kalen giggled and Atton gave her a cocky grin. 'Come back over here and show me again, sweetheart. I think my hips are in the wrong spot.'

'They are,' Alexis volunteered, 'otherwise you'd be able to land on your feet.'

Kalen nodded. 'I think Alexis is right. Besides, you know where your hips are supposed to go, don't you?'

'Yeah? When are you going to let me prove it to you?' Atton asked, raising his eyebrows.

'Soon, I think,' Kalen replied, resting her hands on her hips. Atton's eyes widened. Clearly he hadn't expected a response to his invitation.

'Try again, lover boy,' Alexis said with a sigh. Atton made another attempt. This time, not only did he fall on his butt, his back and head hit the ground as well. He remained motionless on the ground for a second, moaning. 'I vote we just leave him there,' Alexis said, staring at him. It would serve him right. She knew for a fact that he could do it if he'd just stop watching Kalen's butt instead of her entire body when she showed him how to move properly.

Kalen shrugged. 'Okay. If he hasn't moved when we're ready to leave, we'll get someone to toss him onto the ship. I still have uses for him.'

Alexis laughed. 'I'm sure you do.'

They made their way back towards the spot where everyone else was sitting in a circle. Most were playing cards. Canderous was dealing from a rather large deck to Mira, Dustil, Bao-Dur, and Carth. Mical and Visas were both meditating nearby.

'It seems like cheating to meditate here,' Kalen said as she sat down beside Canderous. 'It's too easy.'

'Is meditating supposed to be hard, General?' Bao-Dur asked, looking up from his cards. Alexis was surprised to see him join the rest of the group at cards. He seemed like a bit of a loner to her.

'Well, you should at least have to work for it,' Kalen grumbled.

'I get what you're saying,' Dustil said with a laugh. 'Inner peace should come from within.'

'Exactly!' Kalen exclaimed.

'Is anyone else bored with cards?' Mira asked, tossing her cards to the ground and stretching against Dustil.

He glanced over and grinned at her. 'You're just tired of losing.'

'So what if I am?' Mira asked crossly.

Alexis laughed. 'Then by all means, lets do something else.'

'I have a pazaak deck,' Atton replied, stepping up beside her.

'That's still cards,' Mira muttered.

'No. No pazaak for you tonight, remember? We're drying out your liver and draining all of the little numbers from your head,' Alexis said, leaping from the ground and stealing the pazaak deck he was grasping loosely in his right hand.

'Those are mine!' he said indignantly.

'Not tonight,' Alexis replied. Everyone was laughing at the wounded expression on Atton's face.

'Make her give them back,' he whined to Kalen.

Kalen shrugged. 'Do you really think I can make Alexis do anything?'

Atton turned his eyes to Carth. 'Make her give my cards back,' he said pleadingly.

Carth shook his head and held up his hands. 'No way. Do you think I'm crazy?'

'Scared, Onasi?' Alexis asked with a wicked smile.

'You bet,' Carth replied. Alexis laughed.

'I'm not,' Canderous said, setting the other deck of cards on the ground.

'What are you going to do about it?' Alexis asked, standing up and tucking the cards into a pocket inside of her tunic and buttoning it shut.

'I tell you what. We'll fight for them. Hand to hand combat. What do you say?' he asked.

Alexis grinned. How could she turn him down? 'You sure that's what you want? You really think you can take me?'

'Without your lightsaber? Onasi could take you,' Canderous replied.

Alexis couldn't help it. She laughed again. 'Hey!' Carth said sulkily.

Alexis turned and looked at Carth appraisingly. 'Did he hurt your man feelings?'

Carth laughed. 'Thanks.'

'I knew you'd like that,' Alexis replied. 'So, where is this epic battle going to take place?'

Canderous looked around. 'Over there. There's a patch of flat ground.'

'Can I referee?' Kalen asked. 'I'd like to make sure that Alexis doesn't hurt Canderous too badly.'

'Yeah,' Alexis replied. They set up rather quickly. Everyone but Mical and Visas came and stood around Alexis and Canderous in a pattern reminiscent of a Mandalorian battle circle.

Alexis and Canderous shook hands. 'The day when I can't beat one skinny kid is the day I retire,' Canderous said confidently.

'I take it I'm not allowed to use the Force?' Alexis asked.

'That wouldn't be fair now, would it?'

'You are at least twice my weight. Who's to say what's fair?'

Kalen stepped up to them. 'Alright. I want a clean fight. No biting, pinching, or... umm... hitting Canderous below the belt. Well, below the belt or above the knee. But not precisely the knee, more like...'

'I get it Kalen, thanks,' Alexis said lightly.

'Bow to your opponent and begin!' Kalen said loudly, jumping back.

Alexis lowered her head. Canderous did as well. Both of them dropped into their favorite combat stance. They circled one another for several seconds. Alexis landed the first blow. While Canderous was stepping sideways, Alexis leapt forward, tapped him on the cheek with her palm, and leapt back.

Canderous tried to catch her, but he failed. They danced around one another again. Canderous came at her and Alexis sidestepped him. She was too light and quick for his much bulkier frame. She tapped him on the back of the head as she passed.

'Come back here,' he growled.

'You don't have to be afraid you'll hurt me,' Alexis taunted, grinning at him. She was flat on her back before she knew what had hit her. Canderous had tripped her. Alexis rolled over and got back to her feet before he managed to catch her again.

'I'm not,' Canderous said.

'Get him, Alexis!' Kalen shouted.

'Isn't the ref supposed to be unbiased?' Atton asked from somewhere behind her.

'Oh, shut up!' Kalen answered.

Alexis laughed and launched herself at Canderous's chest. He barely caught her he was so surprised. That was all the time she needed. She hooked her leg around his, yanking as hard as she could until he toppled to the grass with her seated triumphantly on his chest. 'Gotcha,' Alexis said with a smile.

Canderous threw her off of him. She landed on her back beside him with his hand just below her throat. 'Do you now?'

'Draw!' Kalen chimed. Alexis lunged from beneath Canderous's hand and tackled her. They wrestled on the ground for a moment, laughing, with Atton cheering. Kalen finally pinned Alexis down and started to tickle her. Things went downhill from there. Alexis couldn't think or breathe. She was very ticklish.

Kalen released Alexis and looked over at Carth. 'She's ticklish. I trust you'll remember?' She asked slyly.

Carth grinned at her. 'How could I forget?'

'So who gets my pazaak deck?' Atton asked finally.

'I do,' Kalen said.

'What do I have to do to get them back?'

'I'll think of something,' Kalen replied.

Atton grinned. 'I can't wait.'

An hour later, the sun was starting to disappear below the horizon. Alexis was seated cross --legged behind Kalen, braiding the other girl's hair. Atton's head was in Kalen's lap. He was asleep.

'I see that things are going well between the two of you,' Alexis whispered in Kalen's ear.

Kalen laughed. 'He's such a sweetheart. It's too bad that he likes to pretend that he isn't.'

'Kalen, honey, he probably isn't with anyone else.'

'He is with you.'

'He's just scared of me, that's all.'

'No, he really likes you.'

'What, did he tell you that he liked me?' Alexis asked with a laugh.

'No. But I can tell. You two are good friends, aren't you?'

Alexis sighed. Clearly she wasn't going to wriggle her way out of this. 'We're a lot alike, Atton and I.'

'You mean your past.'

'Yes. We relate to one another very well.'

'I'm glad he has you, then.'

'Where is this going?'

'I always feel like he's hiding things from me, even when he's trying to be as open as he can. I just want to know that he tells someone his secrets, if he can't tell me.'

'He'll tell you in time. Right now, he just doesn't want to scare you away.'

'I don't think that he could,' Kalen said softly. She was stroking the hair on Atton's forehead absently.

'You're petting him, you know.'

Kalen glanced down and ceased the motions of her hand. 'You're right.'

'I think you need a baby. You've always struck me as the motherly type,' Alexis told her. Kalen was a nurturer, there was no doubt.

'I don't think that I'll ever have the time,' Kalen answered.

'You're still young.'

'Lexi, you always talk like you're so much older than me. Two years is not that long.'

Alexis patted the last strand of Kalen's waist-length hair into the massive braid and started to wind it up onto her head. 'I'll be thirty my next birthday,' Alexis responded.

'Women have children in their late forties and early fifties now, Alexis.'

'Are you suggesting that I should have children?' Alexis asked with surprise.

'If I should, you should. I think you'd make a wonderful mother.'

Alexis was carefully clipping Kalen's braid into place as she spoke. 'It's not possible anyway.'

'And why not?'

'From what I've heard about the dark side, it twists one not only mentally, but physically as well. Do you know that there are no records of a Sith ever having children after their fall? It's believed that the corrupting nature of the dark side sterilizes men and women alike.'

'You have no proof of that.'

'Oh Kalen, it doesn't matter. I wouldn't wish me on any child.'

'Alexis...'

'I'm sorry I brought this up,' Alexis said, shifting onto her knees to clip the final piece of Kalen's braid into place. 'You know, it was silly of me to braid this. You're just going to take it down later to sleep.'

'Don't change the subject.'

'What're we talking about?' Atton muttered sleepily from Kalen's lap.

Kalen gave him an exasperated sigh. 'Couldn't you have stayed asleep for five more minutes?'

'Gee, I'm sorry that I'm such an inconvenience to you,' he said, starting to sit up.

'Well, you're my hero,' Alexis told him.

He turned to look at her. 'Nice to know someone appreciates me,' he replied, giving Kalen a sulky expression. After a moment, he started to get up.

'Where are you going?' Kalen asked.

'Miss me already?' Atton asked, standing and stretching his back.

'No. Alexis and I have something to talk about while your gone, don't we?' Kalen asked, eyeing Alexis.

Alexis sighed and gave Atton a pleading look. 'Please stay.'

'Where's Carth?' Atton asked her.

Carth and Atton talked? 'Over by the lake,' Alexis said, waving her hand towards the lone black-clad figure standing at the edge of the water.

Atton nodded. 'I'll be back.'

Kalen rounded an Alexis. 'Not again,' Alexis moaned, collapsing back into the grass.

---

Carth watched as Atton approached him, stopping only a few feet away. They were quiet for some time. Finally, Atton spoke. 'So, uh- Carth. How's it going?'

Carth hid a smile. He knew he made the kid uncomfortable. 'Better now that no one's crying,' Carth responded.

'Huh. Definitely,' Atton said with a relieved sigh.

Carth glanced over at Atton. He wasn't sure why he was here. They'd never really talked before. 'You need something?' Carth asked him.

Atton was staring at the ground. Carth turned to look back at the lake. Maybe Atton would find him easier to talk to if he didn't look at him. 'Ah- well. Yes. I wanted to talk to you.'

Carth nodded. 'I'm listening.'

Atton seemed to be struggling to find the words. 'They're tough, aren't they? I mean, for women.'

Carth chuckled. 'They're tough no matter who you compare them to. Tougher than all the rest of us put together.'

'They aren't Jedi, though. At least, not the way Jedi should be.'

'They're the only Jedi that are left,' Carth said, looking back at Atton.

Atton frowned. 'They're too soft to be Jedi,' He said after a few seconds' pause.

Carth thought about that. 'You're a Jedi,' he pointed out.

'Not really. I can swing a lightsaber, but that doesn't make me a Jedi.'

'So what makes them Jedi?'

Atton shook his head. 'I don't know. They're Jedi, all right, but I can't figure out why.'

'Do you mean why they're still Jedi, or why they were in the first place?'

'Why they were in the first place.'

'They were Force sensitive.'

'But that doesn't make a Jedi.'

Carth took a deep breath. 'I think that they survived because they weren't like other Jedi.'

'Both of them fought in the Mandalorian Wars,' Atton said slowly.

'Because they couldn't stand back and watch millions die and the Republic be torn apart.'

'Well then they aren't Jedi. Jedi have to obey their Code and their Council. They just threw the rule book out the window.'

'And Alexis fell to the dark side for it,' Carth replied.

'But they were right, weren't they?'

'They saved the Republic.'

'And they're trying to do it again,' Atton said, scratching at his head with one hand.

'I think I've missed your point,' Carth answered, shifting positions.

'I'm not sure I had one.'

'You sounded like you had a purpose in coming over here.'

'I guess I did,' Atton began. 'It's Kalen. She needs me. Or at least, I think she does. Jedi shouldn't need anyone else.'

Carth sighed. Alexis didn't need him. Or if she did, she was very good at hiding it. 'She's still human.' Carth said finally.

'They were talking about children back there, a second ago, when they thought I was asleep. They want kids. Is that normal Jedi behavior?'

'You sound like you think that's crazy.'

'It is for a Jedi, isn't it?'

'Didn't you say that they weren't Jedi?' Carth asked, smiling. Atton's mind was sharp, but it was random. He jumped from one idea to another without any connecting factors.

Atton sighed. 'It's just- I've never thought about kids and these Jedi, they're talking about kids like they can have them. Like they've thought about it.'

'There's no Council. They can essentially do whatever they want.'

'But they're going to rebuild the Order, aren't they? Aren't things going to go back to the way they were before?'

Carth finally understood. Atton was worried that Kalen would leave him for the Jedi. 'Kalen isn't a Jedi anymore. Ask her and she'll tell you the same.'

'What does that mean? They've been living by that damned Code all of their lives,' Atton responded.

'Why don't you talk to Alexis about this? I think she'll be able to explain it to you better than I ever could,' Carth said. He was having a hard time. How could he help Atton when he was still so confused?

'She's got the same problem.'

'How so?'

'She's got to pick, doesn't she? Just like Kalen does. They've either got to be Jedi, or they've got to be themselves.'

'They still are Jedi, at least at heart.'

'That's why this is so confusing. They've been trained all of their lives to be Jedi. Who's to say that once they're back in a temple surrounded by little kids with lightsabers they won't forget about us? That she won't forget about me.' He was staring off into the distance again, his shoulders slumped.

Carth looked at the ground. 'Just- give her a chance. That's all I can tell you. And talk to Alexis. She's better at this sort of thing than I am, even when it concerns her.'

Atton nodded. 'I guess I will.' He turned back to Carth with a sideways smile on his face. 'She wants kids, you know,' he said, placing his hand on his chest. 'My kids. Who would have thought?' He turned to walk away, looking worried but still wearing that stupid grin.

'Yeah,' Carth murmured to his retreating back, 'who would have thought?'

Alexis looked up as Dustil approached. 'You two are acting like little girls at a sleepover,' he observed, staring at she and Kalen. Kalen had a pen and was doodling on Alexis's arm. There was a half-finished ring of elegant flowers circling her bicep. Kalen was only inches from Alexis's arm, her tongue sticking out of the corner of her mouth and her pen moving impossibly fast.

Alexis laughed. 'We didn't get to act like kids when we were young. We're reliving our childhood. I braided her hair, she's writing on me. Next we're going to talk about boys and clothes while we play with our dolls.'

'There're dolls?' Kalen asked brightly, glancing up from her work.

'It's okay, Kalen,' he soothed, 'just go back to your work.'

Kalen stuck her tongue out at him before furiously resuming her attentions to the tattoo. 'Ouch!' Alexis said suddenly, jerking sideways when the pen hit a tender spot.

'Look what you did!' Kalen raged. She licked her thumb and started to rub away the stray ink mark.

'You're drooling on me! Stop it! Stop it!' Alexis whined plaintively, trying not to laugh. She hadn't had this much fun in a while. Not since the other morning with Carth, and Seré had spoiled that.

'Are you two on spice?' Mira asked, walking up beside Dustil and sliding her hand into his.

Alexis grinned at her. 'Nope.'

'Forgive me if I choose not to believe that,' Dustil said.

Kalen pulled back and shouted triumphantly. 'It's done!'

Alexis glanced over at the life-like flowers on her arm. 'You're really quite good,' she said. In fact, it was some of the best art she'd seen.

Atton ambled up to them, swinging his lightsaber. 'Hey! That is pretty good. You wouldn't like to give me one, would you? I want a naked picture of you on my ass.'

Kalen glared at him for a second. 'You'd never see it there,' she said haughtily.

'Why would I need to when I've got the real thing right here?'

'Don't be so sure,' Kalen muttered darkly.

Alexis tried to smother her laughter with her hand but failed miserably. Kalen turned her glare to Alexis. Alexis gave her a disarming smile.

'I've seen that look before. What have you done?' Carth asked, stepping up behind her.

Alexis folded her arms over her chest. 'I haven't done anything wrong.'

'I see. So, are you guys ready to head back? It's late and I have to go to work tomorrow,' Carth said.

Kalen sighed. 'I don't want to go.'

'I'm ready,' Atton said. 'All of this calm is starting to annoy me. Let's head back to the real world.'

Everyone but Alexis rose collectively and stood in a small group. She remained resolutely on the ground in the center, trying to absorb as much of the peaceful feelings of the area as she could before she left.

'Are you just going to stay here?' Dustil asked her.

'I wouldn't miss her,' Canderous said, grinning at her.

Before Alexis could respond, Carth tossed her over his shoulder. She kicked her legs in the empty air. 'Well then,' She said, turning sideways under his arm to try and catch a glimpse of his face.

'Is everyone ready now?' Carth asked.

'I guess I am,' Alexis said. She turned back to rest against Carth's back. Those pants really were a wonder. 'Nice pants,' she managed, hiding her blush by looking down. Carth laughed.

They made their way back to the ship and took off. Once again, the ride was fairly silent. It seemed that this time, every one was reflecting on a day that they'd enjoyed immensely.

When they arrived back at the Citadel, the two groups went their separate ways. Dustil was suspiciously absent as Alexis and Carth walked back to the apartment. 'I guess he's found somewhere else to stay,' Alexis said slyly.

'Looks like it,' Carth said, cautiously taking her hand.

Alexis smiled and looked up into his eyes. 'I'm glad,' she whispered.

Carth's eyes widened and a smile spread slowly across his face. 'Are you?'

Alexis's heart was racing. This was it. She was finally going to tell him tonight. And she was scared half to death. She bit her lip and kept glancing at him from beneath her eyelashes. Easy. It's just Carth. He's not going to hurt you. The walk felt like the longest she'd ever been on. She was acutely aware of her hand in his and was absolutely certain that he could feel her pulse pounding out of time beneath his hand. He probably thought that she was nuts.

Just outside of his door, Alexis bumped against Carth's chest. They stood, pressed together for a few moments, looking into one another's eyes. 'Inside,' Alexis managed, reaching for the keypad. Carth beat her to it. He punched in the numbers rapidly and slid into the open door.

Alexis was surprised that the light was already on. She scanned the apartment quickly. Someone was sitting with their back to them on the couch...

'Seré? What are you doing here?' Carth asked.

---

Carth's hand clasping her arm was the only thing that stopped Alexis from collapsing to the ground in a heap and crying. Or possibly lunging at Seré. Innocence stopped at the third interruption, did it not?

Alexis was trembling. She could feel it. Her entire body was shaking with emotion. She took two deep, calming breaths, and then a third for good measure.

'What's she doing here?' Seré asked, standing and pointing at Alexis.

Alexis stared at the girl for a moment. Was she daft? 'I- live- here,' she ground out, holding herself tightly in check.

Carth stepped inside and shut the door. 'Seré,' he said, quite calmly, Alexis thought, given the circumstances, 'you didn't answer my question.'

For the first time, Seré quailed under his glare. Alexis pulled her arm away from him and slowly made her way to Seré's side. She glanced apprehensively at Alexis. Alexis found this odd. 'Are you afraid of me?' She asked softly. You should be! her heart screamed rebelliously.

'N-no...' Seré whispered.

Alexis very gently took her arm and pulled her back onto her seat on the couch. 'I'm not going to hurt you,' Alexis said with sympathy she didn't feel. It served the girl right. Perhaps she should stay away if she was scared of her. 'Now, what did you come here to say?' Carth was watching all of this with a bemused expression from his position with his back against the door.

'I- wanted to talk to... Carth...'

'Why are there always assassins with you?' Alexis snarled when she noticed the single assassin standing a few feet from Carth. His stealth field generator was still on, and he wasn't aware that Alexis had seen him. She leapt across the room, igniting her lightsaber in mid-air, and sliced the man neatly in half. She barely retained her control over her emotions.

Seré, with a look of horror on her face, opened her mouth to explain, but no sound escaped. She looked a bit like a fish out of water. Alexis, breathing harshly, flicked off her lightsaber and hooked it back on her belt without sparing the dead man a glance.

Carth was staring at the assassin's body as Alexis arrived back at Seré's side. Taking pity on the girl, Alexis leaned forward and pushed on her chin until her mouth stopped gaping. 'There now. Seré, why did you let in another assassin?'

Carth walked over to Alexis's side. 'Are you okay?' he asked, glancing back at the body on his floor. There was no blood. The wound had been immediately cauterized by Alexis's blade.

'I'll be fine once I know where all of these damned Sith are coming from!' Alexis said calmly. She turned back to Seré. 'You can't hide anything from me, dear, so you may as well go ahead and tell me.'

'I don't know,' Seré said with a catch in her voice. She hid her face in her hands and started to cry, 'But they've been following me for days.'

Alexis sat down on the couch beside Seré. She patted her back awkwardly. 'How do you know that they're following you?'

Carth, still silent, took off, blaster pistols in hand, to search the apartment. Alexis remained at Seré's side. Seré could barely speak she was crying so hard. 'I see things, moving, out of the corner of my eye. When I turn to look, they're gone. I thought I was going mad.'

'You didn't connect it with the assassins that kept showing up when you came into this apartment?'

'N-no,' she wailed, 'because I thought that they were ghosts.'

Alexis nearly groaned. Self-centered AND stupid. What was she? The Sith Lord of Stupidity? Wouldn't that be novel? 'I shall crush you with my towering ignorance!' It would certainly be the most terrifying of the lot. 'And where have they been following you from?'

'Any time I leave my apartment. It's like they're waiting for me outside...' Seré whispered.

'I see. And where is your apartment?' Alexis asked. Carth slid back into the room, shaking his head. Good, the apartment was clean. Alexis motioned for him to check outside the door and he did so. Apparently there was nothing there, because he came back inside and holstered his blasters. She noticed a strange expression on his face, as if he'd seen something distasteful very recently, but she was busy, so she ignored it.

'By the shuttle bay where your ship is. It's in the residential module next door,' Seré said. She was staring at her hands.

'Look, not that I don't believe you and all, but I have to be absolutely certain that you're not lying to me. I'm fairly sure that you're not, but I really need to know that you aren't bringing these assassins with you on purpose. So, I'm going to put my palm on your forehead. You'll feel a little bit of pressure while I riffle through your head, but it won't hurt. Now, close your eyes,' Alexis ordered.

'Is this really necessary?' Seré asked fearfully.

'Yes,' Carth replied.

Alexis sighed. 'I won't do it without your permission, but if you won't consent, I will slap a set of stun cuffs on you and haul you over to TSF headquarters for questioning. I promise, their techniques will not be as painless as mine.'

Seré whimpered and obediently shut her eyes. Alexis slapped her palm onto the girl's forehead and slipped into her mostly empty mind. Yep, stupid, but not dangerous. Well, unless you considered an IQ below 50 a hazard. Ghosts. She'd really believed that, too. 'You're clean,' Alexis muttered.

Seré's eyes snapped open as Alexis pulled her hand away. Everyone was quiet. 'So why are there assassins following her around?' Carth asked.

'Well... I'm not entirely sure. It seems to me that they would be better off following you around, if they were after me, but I guess you'd probably see them. Maybe she was the closest they could get to us without being noticed,' Alexis responded thoughtfully.

'Where are they coming from, then?'

'Maybe we should take a look around the shuttle bay tomorrow. I'll bet that there's something amiss. They wouldn't all be flying in on separate ships and unless they've been waiting here since Kalen left Telos the last time, they have to have arrived on something,' Alexis replied.

'How did you get in here, anyway?' Carth asked, rounding on Seré.

'I'm going to go and get a glass of water,' Alexis said, standing and starting to walk towards the kitchen.

'I'll get it,' Carth said, trying to catch her arm.

'It's fine,' Alexis said, staring at him. That reminded her... What had he looked so disgusted by earlier? She found out sooner than she'd expected.

Alexis stepped into the kitchen and found the lights dimmed. There were candles sparkling on the table and dinner plates set for two. There was a meal warming nearby and flowers sitting on the counter. Alexis eyed it all in numb shock for a bit before regaining her senses. Someone had set the scene for a seduction. It certainly hadn't been her and Carth had been gone all evening...

Carth put his hand on her shoulder and Alexis turned and raised her eyebrows. 'Don't look at me,' he muttered.

Alexis couldn't help herself. It was cruel, it was petty, and it was... too much. She burst into hysterical laughter. Seré started a fresh round of tears and Alexis lounged in the doorway, trying to catch her breath and stop laughing. 'Can't breathe-,' she gasped, grabbing Carth's arm for support.

Carth flipped on the lights and attempted to help Alexis back into a standing position. One of her arms held onto his in a vice-like grip and the other clutched her stomach as she continued to laugh uproariously. Carth was shaking his head at her and smiling faintly, but he wasn't laughing. Alexis could still hear Seré crying in the background. The sobs finally helped her laughter subside. She managed to calm down enough to make it back into the living room to sit down.

'Seré, it's okay... Please, stop crying... I'm sorry I laughed... Seré-,' Alexis coaxed, rubbing at the girl's arm. She hiccupped and jerked away, tears staining her cheeks red.

'I'll call someone from the TSF to take you home...' Carth began.

'Please, no!' Seré gasped, her eyes frightened as she stared up at him.

'Let her stay,' Alexis said. 'What harm can she do now? We'll go search the Citadel for assassins tomorrow. There are certainly enough of us.'

Carth sighed and glared at Seré. 'It was- I wanted...'

'I know,' Alexis whispered. She flashed a tired smile. 'We'll talk some other time.'

Carth nodded sadly and turned towards the kitchen. 'I'll go clean up,' he muttered.

Alexis glanced to Seré. 'Can I get you some tea? Will that help you calm down?'

Seré made no reply. Her gasping sobs echoed through the otherwise silent living room. So much for calm. The serenity that she'd found earlier that day had completely vanished.

'I'll get the tea. If nothing else, maybe I can find an herb in Carth's cabinet powerful enough to knock you out,' Alexis said to herself.

Alexis emerged with the tea a few minutes later and presented it to Seré. The girl downed it gratefully and was asleep within five minutes. Alexis was grinning when Carth emerged from the kitchen. 'Powerful stuff,' she said appreciatively.

Carth chuckled. 'I used to have a hard time sleeping.'

'Well... at least she's out. I thought I was going to have to listen to her crying all night. Then I would've needed a sedative. Force, that girl has a penetrating voice,' Alexis said, rubbing her temples.

'Laughing at her didn't help matters,' Carth responded, perching on the edge of one of the living room chairs.

Alexis swung Seré's legs onto the couch and tossed her own cloak over her. 'I had no idea that she was that serious about you. I thought it was just a crush. I didn't know she was trying to crawl into your bed.'

'It's not like much happens there, anyway,' Carth said darkly.

'Watch it,' Alexis replied.

'Well, I didn't know she was after me in quite that way, either. I guess I should've realized...'

'I think that you should retire those pants. I think that they fuddled Seré's brain.'

Carth laughed. 'I think I should retire them too. I'm probably going to have to pry myself out of them.'

'And you still didn't get your laundry done,' Alexis said with a smile.

'I might have exaggerated the desperation of my situation,' Carth hedged.

'I figured as much,' Alexis responded.

Carth shrugged and stood up. 'What do you say we go to bed? Maybe things will look a little better in the morning.'

'Not if you take off those pants,' Alexis said, rising as well.

'I see that they've fuddled another brain...'

'No. Everything is crystal clear, thanks.'

Carth held out his hand. 'Want a lift to bed, beautiful?' He asked her softly. She took his hand and he lifted her up as if she weighed nothing at all and cradled her against his chest.

'I could get used to this,' Alexis said, kicking her legs as he walked.

Carth kissed her forehead lightly. 'I wouldn't mind.'

Carth stared at the ceiling, gently running his fingers across Alexis's arm. She'd been so close to talking to him tonight. Maybe even telling him that she loved him. Why did Seré always pop in at the worst times?

Alexis hadn't been guarded, hadn't been upset, she'd been open, and sweet, and emotional... Carth wanted to storm out into the living room and toss his secretary out. Who knew is Alexis would ever be ready to talk to him again?

Carth glanced over at her beautiful face, so calm while she slept, and smiled. The poor thing. He'd thought she was going to fall apart several times this evening. Well, not really. She was too strong for that.

The day had been so beautiful, so perfect. Everything had fallen into place. Carth found it strange that he could still feel the Force, echoing around in his mind. Had it always been there and he simply hadn't noticed, or was there something else going on? Perhaps a connection he hadn't felt before... Carth shook his head. That was a thought for another time. Maybe, someday, he'd be able to mention it to Alexis. She had such a clear understanding of things of that nature.

He turned his thoughts back to his secretary instead. Why didn't Seré get the picture? He'd never given her any encouragement. In fact, he'd done everything in his power to indicate to her that he had no interest in her whatsoever. He'd known that Seré hated Alexis, but he'd assumed it was because she was Revan, not because she was having fantasies about a relationship with him. The reality of it would have been all too obvious if he'd just taken the time to look.

Why was she interested in him, anyway? It wasn't like she was short on options. She was one of the few young, decently attractive girls on a Station full of young men. Surely young soldiers were more appealing than he was. He was her boss, and he was nothing special: just an old pilot who still had a full head of hair. So what was the draw? They weren't even interested in the same things.

Besides, she was the same age as his son. Not that Alexis was that much older... seven years wasn't even a generation. Alexis had been born in the same generation as Dustil. Why did it always come back to age? He was too old for her, and he knew it, but he was so in love with her at this point that even his good sense couldn't turn him away. He couldn't pull away anymore. Everything was up to her now.

Carth was surprised to see a frown creasing Alexis's brow. She jerked slightly, in her sleep, and Carth sat up a bit to watch her. Was she having a nightmare? As far as he knew, she hadn't had nightmares since before the end of the Jedi Civil War.

Alexis twisted against him. Her breathing was coming faster. Just as Carth was going to wake her, Alexis shouted, 'NO!' and sat straight up in the bed. He eyes were wide and her breathing was harsh. She stared at him for a few seconds. 'Are you okay?' she whispered brokenly, reaching out to touch his face.

Carth stared right back. Was he okay? She was the one having the nightmares. 'I'm fine, beautiful,' he replied, reaching for her.

She jerked away and leapt from the bed quite suddenly. 'I- have to go...' she said, looking lost.

Carth stood up with her and gently caught her arm. She looked up into his face, startled. 'Alexis... calm down. It was just a dream,' he said soothingly.

'But it wasn't...' she whispered, drawing herself to his chest and hiding her face.

Carth stroked her back gently. 'Do you want to talk about it?' he asked. She shook her head no, but she didn't move. 'Please?' Carth added, gently lifting her chin so that she had to look at him again.

He could feel her draw several deep breaths. The Jedi was returning to push away the frightened girl. He knew without a doubt that she wasn't going to talk about it now. She stepped out of his arms shortly thereafter and gave him a weak smile.

'I'm fine,' Alexis told him. 'I think I'll go and meditate, though. I'll never get back to sleep now.'

Carth nodded. Neither would he. 'Go ahead. I'll see you in the morning.' He watched as she fled the room, her bare feet silent on the carpeted floor.

Alexis settled herself into her nice hiding place in the closet once again. With Seré in the living room, this was the obvious choice for privacy, and Alexis certainly wanted to be alone.

Why was the nightmare coming back? She hadn't had it once since her return to Telos and now it came back? Before that, she'd been having it once or twice a week for four years. Of course, then it had been more like a vision, since she hadn't been sleeping.

She remembered the dream vividly. After seeing it more than two hundred times, it was hard to forget. And of course, it had happened in real life. She couldn't have told Carth. No, he would have laughed at her; told her that it wouldn't happen again. It couldn't. Saul Karath and Malak were both long dead. So was Bastila, for that matter.

But she couldn't get Carth's screams out of her head... It was pathetic really, that the only nightmares that a former Sith Lord ever had were of someone else being tortured. Sometimes, she couldn't even see anything. All she could do was hear Saul Karath ask her a question, hear her own refusal to answer, and then hear Carth's pained screams.

Alexis shivered slightly and pulled her knees up to her chest. It was cold in this closet when all you had on was a t-shirt. She sighed slightly. It wasn't as if she'd never been tortured. Far from it. In fact, she'd been tortured quite mercilessly by Saul Karath herself. But memories of that didn't upset her. Her own torture was of no consequence. It was Carth's torture that had brought her so close to telling Karath what he wanted to know- to revealing the Jedi.

Carth had been so forgiving afterward, thanking her for doing what he didn't think he would have been able to do under similar circumstances. When he'd told her that, she hadn't felt strong. She'd felt like a monster. And then they had told her that she was really Darth Revan, and she'd known that she was a monster.

Alexis stared at the floor. Carth had told her once that he wanted to be her reason not to fall. Wouldn't it kill him to know that he had almost done the exact opposite?

'Do you want to know why I never told you that you were Revan?' Jolee asked her. Alexis jerked sideways and stared up at the old man who was once again perched on the crate beside her.

'Hello Jolee. How have you been?'

'Are you going to answer my question, or not?'

So this time he didn't want a normal greeting, hmm? Crazy old coot... 'I'll never understand you, old man. Yes, go ahead, enlighten me.'

Jolee glared at her. 'Because it's none of your business.'

'How can it be none of my business?' Alexis responded incredulously.

'If you had known you were Revan too soon, you wouldn't be the girl you are now.'

'What does that mean?'

'I'd forgotten that you weren't the brightest star in the galaxy. Think, kid, think! How did Revan deal with other people?'

'I-,' Alexis began.

'Not I. She. Are you still a Sith Lord? Sheesh...'

'Fine. She used them.'

'So what would you have done the minute you knew the truth?'

Alexis thought about that. What would she have done? Well, she probably wouldn't have stuck around. Not if she had a choice. 'I would have run away. I wouldn't have wanted to be around other people, for fear I'd-'

'...Use them. Exactly.'

'Do you think I still would have gone after Malak?' Alexis asked.

'How would I know that? Kids these days...'

'Jolee... I know why I came to Telos.'

'Good for you.'

'Don't you remember... the last time you were here...'

'Remember what?'

'Jolee, the last time you were here, you asked me why I came back from the Unknown Regions.'

'Of course I did,' Jolee said, nodding as if he'd known exactly what she was talking about.

'And I know the answer.'

'Good for you,' he said again. Well, at least she was too frustrated with Jolee to be upset anymore.

'I came back for Carth. If I'd known I was Revan sooner, I never would have met Carth... and I wouldn't have come back,' Alexis said.

'Look, kid, I don't know everything-'

'You've mentioned that before,' Alexis interrupted.

'Are you going to let me finish?'

'Right. Sorry.'

'I don't know everything, but I do know this: You met that boy for a reason. What you decide to do about it is your decision.'

'What, no story?' Alexis said innocently.

'Hmph. You don't have the intelligence to appreciate my stories.'

Alexis grinned at him. 'More like I don't have the patience.'

'Why do I bother?' Jolee muttered, starting to fade.

'Wait! I have a couple of questions.'

Jolee materialized again, wearing a dark frown. 'What do you want?'

'Why are my nightmares coming back?'

'Didn't I just explain that to you?'

'I didn't think you had...'

'What did I tell you?' he asked crossly.

'That I was afraid that I'd use people... that's why I kept running away... Oh. You mean that I'm having nightmares because I'm afraid I'll use Carth. But- why don't I have nightmares about Kalen or Atton or any of the others?' Alexis asked.

Jolee laughed. 'Well, I hope that you're not quite as attached to them as you are to the pilot,' he responded.

'But- the nightmare's about him being tortured. What does that have to do with me using him?'

'You used him to protect the Jedi, didn't you?'

'So are you saying that I was wrong, either way? If I'd told Karath where to find the Jedi, it would have been the wrong choice, but letting him torture Carth while I refused to answer his questions was the wrong choice too?'

'Sometimes there is no right or wrong and everything is just a shade of gray. Then it's up to your heart to decide.'

Alexis stared at him. 'You've given me a lot to think about.'

He shrugged. 'That's my job. Now, can I go, or do you have more foolish questions?'

'Just one more. Any news on Bastila?'

He smiled. 'I saw her once, recently. She appeared for a second before she vanished again. Wouldn't be surprised if you started hearing her voice or seeing her sometime soon. Obnoxious kid...' he muttered.

'Thank you, Jolee...'

'It's like I said before... You couldn't figure these things out on your own, even with that Kalen girl to help you. And Alexis? Seeing ghosts isn't that irrational. Later, kiddo,' he said, fading into oblivion.

Alexis stared at him, rubbing her arms against the chill. Well, he was useful for one thing. He certainly knew how to keep a room warm.