Destiny: Part IV

Four days after visiting one of Telos's Restoration Zones with Carth and meeting the Ithorian Chodo Habat, Alexis Revan stood outside of a newly arrived transport ship in the middle of the night, dressed in her bounty hunter attire. No one had come with her. Even Carth had opted to stay home and sleep.

Alexis felt sorry for Carth. After their trip to the Restoration Zone, Carth had come down with some sort of cold. He was coughing and sneezing and had the occasional fever. He was even given to tremors when he thought Alexis was not looking. Alexis had attempted to heal him but the best she could do was rid him of the fevers when they cropped up. The Force was no cure for the common cold.

Alexis glanced at this particular ship and sighed, stepping back into the shadows. This ship bore the wrong number. Dustil Onasi was not on board. She watched with disinterested eyes as creatures and equipment disembarked from the ship. Many of those who had just left the ship were half asleep and stumbled their way through the darkened shuttle bay, dragging their belongings behind.

Alexis saw a very small green twi'lek girl standing in the middle of the bay, glancing around fretfully. The small girl had left the ship alone and Alexis hoped that someone was there to pick the girl up. After a few moments of hopeless search, the little girl finally spotted a twi'lek couple hurrying towards her through shuttle bay's doors. She squealed in excitement and threw herself into the arms of a tall man Alexis assumed was her father. Alexis realized suddenly that she was grinning foolishly and wiped the expression from her face. She was supposed to be a bounty hunter, not a sentimental washed-up Jedi girl.

Alexis glanced at a nearby clock and sighed. Dustil wasn't due for another half hour. It wasn't as if he needed her to meet him here, of course. He was a big boy. Twenty-two now, from what Carth said. He'd made the trek to Carth's apartment from here plenty of times. The truth of the matter was, Alexis didn't want to be alone in the apartment with Carth.

Carth was a particularly pathetic patient. It always seemed that the strongest men were the weakest when they were ill. Now, it wouldn't have been so bad that he was sick if he hadn't been so grouchy and so needy. He would just lay there and sniffle and stare up at her with those big, brown eyes, begging for some kind of gentle attention that Jedi were just not trained to give. Alexis had no idea what to do with him.

Alexis was not exactly the type of girl one would see as a caretaker. Heck, she couldn't even cook! She wasn't soft or gentle looking. She was too delicate to look like anyone's mother; in fact, she was often thought to be someone's young daughter. It wasn't that she didn't care about anyone. She had a great deal of compassion for others. It was that she just- didn't know what to do for them. Not the way Kalen did. Kalen healed with her very gaze, or so it seemed to Alexis.

Carth was a different matter, however. Kalen couldn't do a thing for him. She'd tried, but like Alexis, all she'd been able to do was reverse the fever. Kalen had told Alexis just to take care of him while the cold ran its course. Make sure he didn't get dehydrated and the like.

When Kalen had failed to heal what ailed Carth, Alexis had stared at him in dumb shock, trying for the life of her to know what to do with him. She, who could heal broken limbs and bloody gashes without flinching, was terrified of one pilot with a cold.

Alexis was very glad that Dustil was returning with her. Perhaps he would be better at taking care of Carth than Alexis herself was. That was doubtful, of course, but a girl could dream.

She sat down against the wall, one hand resting idly on one of her blaster pistols and the other on her bare stomach. Thinking about Dustil was always a bit of a shock to Alexis. He was Carth's son but he was only seven years her junior. Carth didn't seem old enough to be Dustil's father. He was so vibrant, so full of life, that Alexis often felt that he was younger than herself. His body was that of a much younger man, hardened by years in the military, and he had not a single gray hair on his head. Alexis frowned suddenly. How old was Carth, anyway?

'Waiting for something?'

Alexis was startled. She hadn't even heard the boy coming! Doran Snider, the young TSF officer she'd met that night Kalen and Mira had gotten drunk, was standing over her, smiling.

'Doran. Hello,' she said, smiling.

'Lexi,' he greeted, offering her his hand. She took it, pulling herself to her feet.

'I thought your patrol was outside of headquarters...'

'They've promoted me. I get to patrol this shuttle bay and one of the nearby residential modules. What about you? What are you doing out here so late?'

'Haven't I mentioned that I'm nocturnal?' Alexis asked, carefully extracting her hand from the young man's grip.

He chuckled lightly. 'It starting to seem that way. Are you waiting on someone?'

Alexis nodded. 'My... friend. Yes. He should be here shortly.'

'Would you mind if I waited with you? I'm on break.'

Alexis gave the kid a friendly smile. 'Ah, that would be okay.'

The grin that broke out on Doran's face was positively ecstatic. Alexis almost found it frightening. This time, when someone approached, Alexis felt it. She turned and Dustil took her arm possessively, a feral grin on his handsome young face. She felt him skim her thoughts quickly and take all of the information he needed to carry on her ruse. He was sharp; she'd give him that.

'Well, it won't be a long wait, will it Lexi?' he asked, turning on the TSF agent across from them. Doran looked taken aback. Alexis couldn't blame him. Dustil had grown his hair out until it reached past his shoulders. He had an earring in one ear that appeared to be some sort of dragon tooth. His clothing was snug fitting and black. He had grown, too. He was taller and broader than she remembered, though still not as large as his father. He towered over Doran, and the slightly younger man shrank back.

Alexis was unfazed by Dustil's arrival, however. She'd known there was the chance that he'd be there early. She was also unconcerned about his behavior. He was simply going to extract her from the situation. He was only adding to her disguise, after all. 'Hey...' Alexis said, curling her arm around Dustil's waist. He glanced down at her and winked quickly. She could sense the tight control is was taking for him to keep from laughing.

'You're looking good, baby,' he practically cooed. His words dripped with suggestion. She had to turn and hug him to cover her snort of laughter. She'd never known Dustil was quite like this. Of course, they hadn't known one another for long.

'Er- well, I guess I'd better be going,' Doran said uncertainly.

'Oh wait, Doran, let me introduce the two of you. Dustil, this is Doran. Doran, this is my friend, Dustil,' Alexis said, turning back to Doran but not relinquishing her hold on Dustil. She had a feeling she needed to keep this budding actor under control.

'Friend?' Dustil asked, laughing.

'Well, it's uh- nice to meet you,' Doran said weakly.

'The pleasure is all mine,' Dustil responded.

Alexis had to resist the urge to laugh again. Dustil sounded so menacing. It was too bad that the sparkle in his brown eyes ruined the effect. Doran seemed not to have noticed. 'Are you a bounty hunter as well?' Doran asked.

'No. Mercenary,' Dustil said shortly.

'Yes, and he eats children for breakfast,' Alexis said, rolling her eyes upwards. Doran relaxed a little bit.

'Are you making fun of me?' Dustil asked, sounding offended.

'No dear. Not at all.' Doran laughed as Alexis batted her eyelashes innocently up at Dustil.

'You two have a nice evening then...' Doran said, sliding away as quickly as she was able.

Alexis watched him disappear before turning back to Dustil. 'Nice outfit.'

'Yours is better,' Dustil replied, grinning down at her.

'At least mine is just a costume. You seem to have changed a bit since I last saw you.'

'Not really. I ate children for breakfast then, too. Just like all of the other Sith.'

'Ha, ha.'

'So, why did you come by to meet me? I could have made it to the apartment by myself. I do know where it is.'

'I was bored.'

'So why didn't dear old Dad come with you?'

'He has a cold.'

Dustil laughed heartily. 'Now I know why you're here. You're trying to get away from him. He's a royal pain in the ass when he's sick, isn't he?'

'And I don't exactly have great bedside manner...' Alexis responded with a grimace. Alexis wondered idly if Carth had had an earring when he was younger. She'd have to make a point to ask.

'Anyway, I don't normally dress like this, either. I do wear my hair long, obviously, but the earring is borrowed off of a friend. I usually wear an earring, too, bit it's a bit less ostentatious. I was going to head to a cantina before I came by the apartment. It's not that late and I didn't want to see Dad until morning,' Dustil said, fingering the huge monstrosity dangling from his ear.

'Hold on... I think I may know where there are some friends in a cantina tonight... They said they might go,' Alexis said. Atton, Mira, Disciple, and Bao-Dur had mentioned that they might go out for the night. They were bored, it seemed.

:: Atton? :: Alexis sent out gently, in case he was actually asleep.

:: Yeah? :: he responded immediately.

:: Where are you? ::

:: Local cantina, sitting at a pazaak table. Why? ::

:: You mind if a friend and I swing by? ::

:: Who's the friend? You aren't bringing Carth, are you? :: he actually sounded disapproving.

:: No :: Alexis replied, laughing lightly.

:: Good. Head on over. I think I'll be here for a while. ::

:: Who else is there? ::

:: Mira, Disciple, and Bao-Dur. ::

:: Which one are you in? ::

:: Mira's favorite. The pazaak isn't bad here, so I don't mind. ::

:: See you shortly. ::

Atton didn't bother to reply. Alexis turned to Dustil, who was smiling faintly. 'Did you catch any of that?'

'No. Whoever's head you were in has some powerful shields. He was counting something, wasn't he?' Dustil asked.

Alexis chuckled. 'I can't even hear him doing it anymore. Yes. He was probably counting cards or something.'

'I gather he's got something to hide?'

Alexis turned and gave him a rueful smile that spoke volumes. 'Don't we all?'

---

The sound of blaster fire echoed from the cantina when they were just outside of the door. Heedless of the danger, Alexis ran ahead into the dark interior, worried about the safety of her friends. Dustil was hot on her heels, his own blaster in his hand.

Alexis had to shove her way through the crowd. Everyone was gathered in a circle around the shooter. A few people were chuckling softly, which Alexis found strange. When she finally got to the center of the circle, she was shocked to see Atton Rand loosely holding a blaster pistol, toeing at the body of an enormous blonde body that looked exactly like...

'Mical!' Alexis said in a strangled tone, going down on her knees at the man's side to check him for injuries. Seeing none, she glanced back up at Atton, who smiled at her sheepishly. 'What did you do?' she asked crossly.

'Well... he challenged me, and pulled his lightsaber. I didn't want to have a lightsaber duel right here in the middle of the cantina, so I set my blaster to stun and shot him in the chest. He didn't stand a chance.'

Alexis frowned. 'Why did he challenge you?'

'Because,' Mical gasped, turning over against her knees, 'he refused to apologize for a comment he made about the exile...'

Alexis was suddenly on the verge of grinning. She could see Dustil out of the corner of her eye. He looked puzzled. 'And what did you say, Atton?'

Atton looked down at the table in front of him, then back over at Alexis. He wouldn't answer. Alexis glanced down at Mical, who was rubbing his chest and moaning. 'What did he say?'

Mical turned his honey brown eyes on her. 'I dare not repeat it. It was so foul, so unnecessary, so filthy...' he trailed off.

Mira sauntered over, grinning down at Alexis. 'He said that she was trying to kill him. When I asked how, he said 'With a body like that, it's not hard to imagine. But I'd die a happy man.' That was about all. He did insinuate that she was working him to exhaustion. I'm not sure I want to know how.'

'The General will not be pleased,' Bao-Dur said quietly from his position at the edge of the circle. No, Kalen wouldn't like her friends fighting over her.

Mical looked a little pale, but otherwise all right. He was still glaring at Atton, although Alexis could hardly blame him. She still wanted to smile. She could see that Dustil was, even though he couldn't know the specifics of the situation. 'You challenged him for that?' Alexis asked.

'He refused to take it back,' the Disciple said with dignity. Alexis sighed and stood up.

'You two are such children,' finally, she gave in and started to laugh. Mira joined her, as did Dustil, and soon the entire bar was chuckling uneasily at the spectacle before them. Alexis only hoped no one in the crowd had recognized her. It would have been better if she had not taken control of the situation so quickly.

Atton turned to look at her, grinning slightly. 'So, who's your new boyfriend?'

Alexis glanced over her shoulder back at Dustil, who was hovering protectively over her much as Carth might have. It was rather cute, especially in one so young. 'This is Dustil. Dustil, this is Atton, and that is Mical, there on the floor, and standing behind him, that's Bao-Dur. And the red-head, that's Mira.'

Mira was looking at Dustil speculatively, a bright, predatory glint in her eyes. Dustil turned away from her quickly, blushing. 'Nice to meet you,' he said vaguely.

'Dustil. Are you the Admiral's son?' Atton asked.

'That's me,' Dustil responded easily.

'We're practically brothers then,' Atton said, offering Dustil his hand.

Dustil took his hand. 'How's that?' he asked.

'Well,' he replied, gesturing towards Alexis, 'she's my mummy.'

Dustil burst out laughing. 'I guess we are, at that.'

The bar returned to normal just as quickly as it had been disrupted. Mical had taken a chair at the bar and he was nursing a drink there, alone. Dustil and Atton, who had become fast friends, were playing pazaak Republic Senate rules. Apparently they were both out of credits. Mira was standing next to Alexis, sipping a drink and silently staring at Dustil. Bao-Dur was nowhere to be seen.

'You say that's Carth's kid?' she asked quietly.

Alexis nodded slowly. 'They look a lot alike, don't they?'

'Not to me,' Mira whispered back.

Alexis glanced up into Mira's face. 'I gather you like him?'

'Fresh meat,' Mira said, grinning at her.

'I've heard some funny things about what you think Kalen should do to Atton...'

'Do they involve a bothan stunner, stun cuffs, and starvation?' Mira asked, laughing slightly.

'Actually, I think it was something like that. It sounds, well, vicious. '

'Hasn't Kalen told you? I love my targets,' Mira was looking at Dustil again, her expression hungry.

'Don't hurt him too badly. He still has his uses.'

'Oh, when I'm done with him, he'll do anything we ask,' Mira dropped her glass onto the counter and sauntered away, stopping right beside Dustil and leaning over the table where he and Atton were playing pazaak, as if to see the game. Atton looked up at her suspiciously.

:: Watch out for that one... :: Alexis told him quickly. Atton looked down to smother a laugh. When she saw the look of fascinated horror in Dustil's eyes as Mira pulled up a chair next to him, Alexis had to do the same.

She stood still for a moment, surveying the cantina while feeling guilty about leaving Carth at home alone. Hopefully he was sleeping and it wouldn't matter that she wasn't there anyway.

Mical caught Alexis's eye and she made her way over to his side. He was staring dejectedly at the bar. 'I didn't know you drank,' Alexis said softly.

The Disciple glanced over at her. 'I don't. It's non-alcoholic.'

Alexis shrugged at him. 'Me either.'

'Can I get you one, then?' Mical offered.

Alexis nodded and the Disciple motioned for the bartender to get him another. 'You seem troubled,' Alexis began slowly. Their conversation was quiet, to keep all others in the cantina from hearing.

'My dear lady, I was taken down by one shot from the blaster of a scoundrel today in the midst of many people. Trust me when I say today has not been my day,' Mical replied. His voice was still soft and articulate, but his words sounded bitter.

Alexis gently rested her hand on his. Her drink arrived and he pulled his hand away and passed it to her. She sipped it cautiously. 'This... this is very good,' she said, smiling at him encouragingly.

He nodded. 'I've always enjoyed them.'

Alexis didn't know what to say. This man was much gentler than most. He was nothing like many of the others that she had dealt with. His personality reminded her painfully of Malak's before the wars; sweet and caring with a touch of naïveté.

'I'd like to ask you something, if I may,' He said hesitantly, looking at her from beneath thick blonde eyelashes.

'Go ahead,' Alexis replied with a shrug. He wouldn't ask her anything that would hurt her. He was too much of a gentleman for that.

'I've noticed that you seem to meditate much more than Kalen, or any of the other Jedi I have met. You are like me in that respect. I do not know why I am so drawn to meditation. Perhaps you know why that you are?'

Alexis gave him the gentlest smile she could muster. 'Ah, Mical, your reasons for periodic meditation will be much different from mine, I fear.'

'And why is that?' the Disciple asked her slowly.

'My reason for meditating so often is this: I must constantly examine myself and my motivations. I have to take care, to keep the darkness at bay.' Alexis watched Mical's eyes soften.

'I had no idea,' he whispered compassionately.

'And what is your reason? Or, what do you suspect it to be?'

Mical sighed broodingly and glanced back down at his drink, avoiding her eyes. 'I am... emotional. I have to keep myself under control, much as you do, although for different reasons.'

Alexis nodded. So, Kalen was the root of his troubles. Alexis waited until he looked up, and then carefully leveled her gaze on his own. She stared into his eyes for several seconds. His breath caught and he tried to look away, but he couldn't. He just stared at her, shock and little bit of fear playing across his features.

Alexis broke the connection and dropped her gaze to the table. She had been wrong. Dreadfully wrong. Mical's love for Kalen was not only hero worship. It would never fade, never die. He was truly in love with her. Alexis felt her heart breaking for him.

Mical, gathering his wits about him again, reached for her hand. He took it, grasping it tightly within his own. 'Don't tell her, my lady. I can't let her know. I don't want her to pity me.'

Alexis nodded slowly. He was a strong man, despite what he seemed to think was the worst sort of weakness. 'Know, Mical, that I do not pity you either,' she said softly.

His smile was warm and he lifted her hand to his lips and kissed it gently. Atton ambled over just then, grinning insolently at them. 'My, my, Lexi,' he said, once again using the name of her bounty hunter persona, 'you do seem to draw quite a large number of men.'

Alexis raised her chin haughtily, but Mical beat her to the reply. 'Leave her be, scoundrel. She has no need of your ridicule.'

Alexis turned her eyes slowly to Atton and shook her head. He gave her a small, wicked smile. Alexis turned back to Mical. 'It's okay. I can deal with him myself.'

The Disciple nodded slowly and turned back to his drink. He was once again withdrawing into himself. Alexis sighed. He would never be whole again.

'So, Atton,' Alexis asked conversationally, 'Did you lose your opponent?' Glancing across the bar, Alexis could see that Dustil was deep in conversation with Mira. That, Alexis thought with an inner laugh, could prove to be interesting indeed.

'Yeah,' Atton said a bit sourly.

'Whip out your cards. I'll play with you,' Alexis said. She motioned towards Dustil. 'I guess you weren't any competition for a pretty lady?'

Atton laughed. 'If I weren't, I wouldn't play you and Kalen at cards.' Alexis blushed delicately as Atton dealt.

---

The sun was rising when the small party made its way to the Ebon Hawk to drop off Kalen's crew. Atton was a little tipsy, Mira was drunk, and Dustil was sensitive to light and sound, though he wasn't stumbling. Mical and Alexis were sober, of course, and Bao-Dur was still missing. They could only assume he'd already made it back to the ship.

Once all of the extras were on board the Hawk, Alexis took Dustil's hand and started to lead him towards Carth's apartment. He was squinting terribly, but he was able to walk. 'Not the best way to greet your father after a long absence, hmmm?' Alexis said shrewdly when he paused outside of Carth's door.

'Not so loud,' Dustil grumbled.

'Maybe we'll get lucky and he'll be asleep,' Alexis said hopefully. She wasn't sure how he'd react to her second night out in a cantina, especially since she had taken his son with her and allowed him to get drunk.

No such luck. When Alexis opened the door, Carth was sitting on the couch, bare-chested and sipping a steaming mug of something Alexis suspected must be java. He was really starting to depend on that stuff lately.

'Good morning,' Alexis said brightly, leading Dustil through the door.

'Don't you two look adorable,' Carth said dryly.

Alexis smiled. Maybe this situation was salvageable after all. She helped Dustil quickly to one of the empty chairs in the room where he collapsed promptly and shut his eyes.

'I have something for you,' Alexis said, walking towards Carth while digging idly at the belt of her pants in the back to retrieve the package of cold medicine she'd put there.

Carth stared at her body, starting with her toes and working his way up slowly. Alexis felt a blush creeping up her cheeks, but she didn't move. 'I don't think I'm up for it,' he said slowly, his tone sarcastic.

Stung, Alexis started to turn away to take the medication to the kitchen. Instead, she stopped and deliberately lowered her gaze to his lap. She gave him a sweet smile and looked into his eyes, 'I don't think you are either, dear.'

Carth's eyes widened for a second and Alexis laughed, glad to have caught him off guard. She wasn't that innocent. 'Still want to play?' Alexis asked, resting her hands on her hips.

Carth grinned back at her in spite of himself. 'No, I don't think that I do.'

Carth sat in his kitchen a few hours later, attempting to eat a bowl of soup that Alexis had prepared. It was actually fairly good, which surprised him. It shouldn't have, he thought, when he realized what was in it; leftover chicken from Kalen's cooking the day before and rice. The girl had a rice addiction.

Alexis waltzed into the kitchen at that moment, grinning brightly and spinning. She glanced over at him, her eyes dancing. 'He's in a great deal of pain. He was obviously quite drunk, but he wasn't stumbling. It's almost as if the hangover set in immediately.'

'Serves him right,' Carth muttered under his breath. He broke into a fit of coughing that sent Alexis to his side, holding a glass of water and gently patting his back. He could get used to the attention, even if he couldn't get used to the cold.

It felt right, somehow, thinking of her as Alexis. Revan had always felt cold and distant, as if he were speaking of the story of the Sith Lord rather than to the beautiful girl who bore then name.

Alexis was still running her hands across his bare back. Carth shut his eyes and sighed softly. It was too bad that she was so shy any other time. Her comment earlier had surprised him beyond words. He hadn't even realized the double meaning of the phrase until she'd brought it up. Granted, he'd deserved the thinly veiled insult, but he hadn't known that she even had it in her.

Although he had to admit that she'd been a bit more suggestive lately. He'd always suspected that she didn't know quite the meaning of some of the things that she said, but now he wasn't so sure. She was innocent, yes, but probably not as innocent as he'd thought. She'd been the commander of an entire army. It had been foolish of him to think that she could remain naive under such circumstances.

It seemed that she'd realized she was still touching him, because she pulled her hands back rather quickly. Her words usually said one thing, but her body said another. She was utterly terrified of anything but casual contact. Carth watched out of the corner of his eye as Alexis skipped over to another chair at the table and dropped into it, smiling faintly at nothing in particular. She seemed very happy today, for some reason.

He suspected it was because she was glad that she no longer had to care for him by herself. He sensed that even though she felt badly for him and wanted to help him, she wasn't quite sure what to do for him and it made her uncomfortable. That hardly mattered. He was getting better. He just needed a few more days of sleep. It was hard, too, because now he seemed to sleep better when she was in his bed, and she hadn't been for the last day or two because of his illness.

Earlier that day, when Alexis had walked in with Dustil, Carth had been struck by how lovely a couple they made, even when Dustil was ill. His son was a handsome young man and Carth was quite aware that the exquisite little Jedi was closer to his son's age than she was to his own. They'd both been dressed like warriors, tight clothing and blasters strapped to their hips. It had hurt, a little, even more so since Carth was ill, and he'd gone on the defensive. Insult her first. Draw first blood. She won't fight back.

He wasn't proud of himself, but he hadn't been able to control the impulse. Too bad his idea had backfired. Her little chin had shot into the air and she'd given as good as she got. She was a tough girl, of that he had no doubt.

Carth knew, of course, that he couldn't look at the way Alexis looked with every other man she ever came into contact with. Even though his son was handsome, he knew that Alexis made him look even better. She could generally make even the most brutishly horrid-looking man more appealing. Alexis was so beautiful as to be perfect, and the amazing thing was that she really didn't know it.

Carth glanced over at her and she arched an eyebrow at him. He chuckled lightly and turned back to his soup. He'd never met a beautiful Jedi before Bastila. Now he'd known three: Alexis, Bastila, and Kalen.

Alexis was, as always, the prettiest of the three. Bastila came in at a distant second. She had been classically attractive. When he'd first seen her, Carth had thought that nothing could be lovelier. How wrong he'd been.

Kalen, of course, was pretty in her own right. All of that blonde hair and girl-next-door sort of charm was appealing in a childlike sort of way. Carth had always thought of Kalen as the poster child for the Jedi Order. Sweet-faced and blonde with proud eyes and a determined stance, they could have made a doll of her for little girls to play with. They could have even dressed her in pink Jedi robes and it wouldn't have been far from the truth.

Carth's thoughts drifted slowly to Kalen. She and the Disciple would have made a perfect pair of Jedi, if Jedi were allowed to pair off. It was strange, though, that a girl like Kalen would have chosen Atton instead. They looked well together, like a strange mixture of light and dark. They personalities complimented each other as well. A study in contrasts, he supposed.

Carth glanced up at Alexis again, only to find her studying him just as intently as he had studied her. She didn't see him looking, so she did not look away. There was a faint smile still playing at the corners of her mouth, as if she were still quite pleased about something. Carth glanced back down and forced himself not to smile back. Then she'd know he'd caught her.

'You know,' Alexis said suddenly, causing Carth to glance up into her eyes, 'Atton shot Disciple today.' Mischief danced across her face.

Atton shot Disciple? He hoped Mical was all right... but Alexis was still smiling, so clearly no one had been hurt. 'What happened?'

'Atton said something about Kalen that Mical didn't like. He challenged him over it, and Atton shot him with his blaster in stun mode. Mical passed out for a few seconds,' Alexis said with a shrug. 'Boys will be boys, I suppose. I'll bet Kalen's not happy though.'

'I wonder if they'll tell her,' Carth mused. Alexis rose slowly and stretched her body.

Carth watched, trying to hide his interest by pretending to stare at his now cold soup. He almost felt like a dirty old man chasing a very young girl. Perhaps he was one, at that.

Alexis, totally unaware of her effect on him, began to idly untie the long braid holding her hair confined. She had very long, silky black hair. It was shiny and healthy once again, nothing like it had been when she had first arrived. She looked a great deal healthier as well, Carth was proud to note. And she showed no signs of leaving again.

Her hair hung in loose waves down her back and Carth fought back the urge to reach out and touch it. Perhaps he should leave before he did something he regretted. His headache was coming back anyway.

Alexis glanced over and caught the pained expression on his face. 'You need to go back to bed,' she said in an imperious tone, pointing towards his bedroom.

Carth sighed. 'Probably right. You want to come with me?' He offered, knowing she would refuse.

'I think not. You're just trying to give me that cold!'

Carth nodded. 'You caught me. The least you can do is help an old man to bed,' he replied.

Alexis gave him a wry smile and took his hand. 'You're hardly old,' she told him softly. Carth was certain that she had no idea how those simple words warmed his heart.

---

Alexis stood in the kitchen with Kalen and Dustil, leaning casually against the wall. The other two were cooking steadily for the evening meal and Alexis had already set the table for the entire crew of the Ebon Hawk, Dustil, Carth, and herself.

'So...' Alexis muttered out of sheer boredom. Dustil glanced over his shoulder at her. Kalen tossed an uncooked egg at her, which Alexis deftly caught. 'What was that for?' Alexis asked, tossing the thing back and forth between her hands.

'If you're bored, go do something else. I'm sure Atton will come and play pazaak with you or attempt to beat you at a little lightsaber duel.'

'In other words, go outside and play, sweetheart. Mommy's busy.'

'Wait a minute,' Dustil said quickly. 'You're Atton's mummy and Kalen's your mommy...' he shuddered. 'Creepy. Very creepy.'

'What is that supposed to mean?' Kalen asked threateningly, wielding a spoon once again like a weapon. It seemed to be her kitchen weapon of choice.

'Nothing,' Dustil said innocently, jerking his hands up into the air. 'Nothing at all.'

Alexis ambled out of the kitchen and down the hall towards Carth's bedroom. She slid open the door and slipped inside, glancing over at Carth as she did so. He was sleeping peacefully, or so she thought.

When she sat down on the edge of the bed near him, however, Carth caught her hand gently in his and tugged it up to his cheek. 'You're going to give me your cold,' she whispered, tugging softly to free her hand. He didn't let go.

'Jedi don't catch colds. You know very well that you have never had a cold in your entire life,' Carth said easily.

'This could be my first one,' she said.

He tugged on her hand and Alexis gave in and collapsed beside him. He pulled her back to him and wrapped an arm around her, resting his head tenderly on top of her own. Alexis glanced over at him as best as she could, smiling faintly.

'I think you'll need a shirt fairly soon,' she said at last. Carth's fingers danced lightly across her stomach. He didn't answer. 'Carth?' she whispered.

'Hmm?' He replied drowsily, raising himself up on his elbow and moving his other hand up to twine in her loose hair.

Alexis sighed quietly. 'Go back to bed, Admiral. I'll come and get you when dinner's ready.' She started to rise and Carth caught her arm.

'Leaving so soon?' he asked, smiling. Alexis leaned towards him and kissed his cheek in spite of herself. He released her and collapsed back onto his pillow. Alexis brushed his hair back out of his face. 'Yes,' she said with an impish smile. She slid from the room as quickly as she came, feeling happy and carefree.

Everyone else arrived slowly. Mira was sitting in the corner of the kitchen, still eyeing Dustil. Atton and Canderous sat in the living room, once again playing that strange card game that they had learned. Visas was meditating in the corner. Bao-Dur was tinkering with his lightsaber, and Mical was staring blankly at the wall.

Alexis shook her head. She did not pity Mical, but she knew he suffered. She only hoped that the suffering would make him stronger in the end, instead of destroying him. Alexis watched him for a moment before making her way to the window to watch the sunset.

She felt Carth walk up behind her and she waited for him to touch her, but he didn't. She was profoundly disappointed, for some reason. 'I was coming to wake you,' Alexis said.

'That's okay. I never went back to sleep.'

Alexis glanced back at him, her expression thoughtful. 'How do you feel?' She finally felt his fingers on her arm and she relaxed slightly.

'Like I've been trampled by a herd of banthas,' he responded, 'but better than I did before.'

Alexis turned from the window to face him. 'Have you and Dustil gotten the chance to talk?'

'No. We've both been sleeping,' Carth said with a laugh.

'After you two have talked for a bit, I have something I'd like to talk to you guys about. Let me know when you have the time,' Alexis said easily.

'You want him to be a Jedi, don't you?' Carth asked her shrewdly.

Alexis was never startled by Carth's intellect. He could be a brilliant man when he chose to. But only when he chose, Alexis thought. 'We'll talk about it with him later,' Alexis said firmly. Carth's fingers were tracing a pattern on her arm and Alexis shifted slightly, uncomfortable with the way it made her feel. His fingers instantly ceased their motions.

Alexis stepped carefully from him and turned towards the kitchen. 'I'm going to see how dinner is coming. I'll be back.' Something was different about the way Carth was acting. He was more... intense about something, but she wasn't quite sure what.

Alexis waltzed into the kitchen, eyeing her surroundings. Ever since the assassin attack a few days before, she had resumed her hourly checks of the apartment. The assassins had to be coming from somewhere, but she wasn't sure where. She also had no idea when they would attack. Not only was she openly wearing her lightsaber everywhere she went, but she also had a very small short sword strapped inside her boot. She was taking no chances. Things were not as they had been.

Inside the kitchen, Kalen was sitting in a chair next to the table with Dustil gently patting her hand. 'We can make another,' he said consoling while attempting to conceal a smile. Kalen looked a little wild-eyed.

'Is everything okay?' Alexis asked, frowning slightly. Dustil gave her a mock salute and Mira grinned openly from behind them. 'Yes, General. Or, it will be, when Kalen calms down. Here, would you take her hand and pat it for a moment? I need to finish dinner.'

Kalen glared up at him. 'I am not a child,' she hissed, slapping her palm on the table. Nevertheless, she allowed Dustil to pass her hand to Alexis, who sat down beside her and began to pat her hand much as Dustil had.

'What happened?' Alexis asked her gently.

'My cake fell,' she said sullenly, staring at the ruins of what had once been a very large pink cake.

'I see...' Alexis said, not really seeing at all. What was so important about a cake?

'I've never had a cake fall before,' she said, pointing at the thing and then waving her hand in disgust.

'That's terrible,' Alexis said at last. Had Kalen lost her mind? 'How, exactly, did it fall?'

'Atton,' she whispered, his name sounding as if it were a hideous curse.

'What did Atton do?' Alexis asked curiously. Had he attempted to steal it or something?

'Nothing,' Kalen muttered crossly, idly rubbing at her butt. Alexis watched her, finding this motion strange, to say the least. Mira caught her gaze and wagged her eyebrows.

'Well, Atton distracted her. She was checking her cake and he came in and she- uh...' Dustil trailed off under Kalen's sullen gaze.

Mira glanced over at her and took up the story where Dustil had left off. 'She practically melted on the floor. She dropped her cake. And then, when he realized it was his fault, he came by and pinched her ass and told her she didn't need it anyway.'

Alexis glanced down at the table to hide her laughter. Kalen's hand suddenly tightened on hers and she gasped. 'Kalen, you're hurting me...'

Kalen released her hand. 'It's not funny, is it?'

'Ah, no. Not at all. But, if you don't mind my asking, what has suddenly made you ah- melt- in his presence?'

The colorful blush that rose on Kalen's cheeks told her everything that she needed to know. 'Well, nothing, really...' Kalen said, staring at the floor.

Alexis burst into startled laughter. 'I see.'

'It's not like that!' Kalen said suddenly, her eyes going wide when she realized what all of the others must have thought.

'Go ahead, exile, tell us what it was like,' Mira said innocently.

'I'm not sure I want to know,' Dustil said, stirring at something.

'Well, you see... He walked in on me when I was getting out of the shower. I had a towel on, of course, and I told him to leave. And he wouldn't, so I... tried to... remove him...' she hedged, 'and lost my towel... And then he kissed me... and then he left.' Kalen was blushing so furiously that Alexis thought that she might explode on the spot.

'Not so conceited now, are we?' Alexis asked with a giggle.

'He'll hear you,' Kalen whispered brokenly.

Alexis laughed again. 'You poor dear,' Alexis said, patting her shoulder. Kalen shuddered and looked away. 'I was holding it together until he came in here... I was just fine...'

'So you two still haven't hooked up a power coupling? Jeez. I thought you'd taken him months ago,' Mira complained, grinning. 'You've given that man too much power. I have a spare bothan stunner, if you're interested,' she added.

Dustil's eyes widened sharply and he turned his wary gaze on her. She smiled wolfishly at him and he turned furiously back to the dinner he was preparing. Alexis laughed again.

'You'd have done the same thing,' Kalen said to Alexis.

'If Atton came at me, I'd like to think that I'd run away,' Alexis said slyly.

'I don't mean Atton at all,' Kalen replied. She was starting to regain her composure. She was still blushing, but she didn't seem so unnerved anymore.

Alexis looked anxiously over at Dustil. 'Please, Alexis. We all know who she means. I can handle a little innuendo directed at my father.'

'Can you?' Carth asked from the doorway, smiling right at Alexis.

Alexis refused to blush. She fought it with every fiber of her being. And she won. She turned her gaze on him without hesitation and managed to keep herself under control. 'So, how much did you hear of this little conversation?'

'Wouldn't you like to know?' Carth asked.

Mira burst into laughter. Shaking her head, she left the room, casting a last glance back at Dustil when she slipped through the doorway.

'She's after you,' Kalen said finally, glancing meaningfully at Dustil. 'Thanks. I need relationship advice from the girl who had a fit because a man kissed her.'

Kalen glowered at him. 'As if you've got that much more experience,' she hissed.

'I'll have you know-' Dustil began before he trailed off, staring at his father. 'Nevermind,' he muttered, looking away.

Alexis turned back to Kalen. 'I suppose you want us to keep this quiet?'

Kalen shrugged. 'He's probably told them all.'

Carth glanced back and forth between them. 'I guess I've missed something.'

Alexis grinned at Kalen. 'A little something, yes. Kalen, I remember that you told me recently that you thought that the game was almost won. I think that it is only beginning.'

'And you encouraged him, didn't you? How would you like it if I did that to you?' Kalen asked sourly.

Alexis remembered Mical and stopped laughing as quickly as if someone had tossed a bucket of ice in her face. Kalen looked up. 'Can you hang around for a little while when everyone else leaves tonight?'

Kalen nodded slowly. 'Yes... I'll stick around.'

Alexis nodded and rose. 'I'll go and tell everyone that dinner is ready.'

---

Dinner was a rowdy affair. People ended up in other's laps and stole food from one another's plates. A few gooey globs were thrown and Mira ended up covered in Canderous's drink. After they ate, they all helped clean up before retiring to the living room.

Afterwards, they stood in the living room and sparred and played pazaak. Mira danced on a table, fully clothed of course, and Kalen ran through the living room, randomly hugging and kissing people, male and female alike. The most visibly affected by this was Atton, who hung between bemusement by the kiss she'd given him and jealousy when she touched anyone else.

After all was said and done, it was well into the night. Carth looked exhausted, so Alexis shuffled him off to bed. He probably wouldn't stay there for long, but she needed to talk to Kalen. They met in the living room, both of them with mussed clothes and hair and brilliant smiles.

'You wanted to talk to me?' Kalen asked, dropping onto the couch.

'Yeah. I've got a couple of things I wanted to talk about.'

'Okay,' Kalen said with a shrug.

'So, the first thing I wanted to say was, did you see the way Mira was looking at Dustil? Do you think I should be worried about him?'

'Are you his mother?'

'Well- no...'

'Then let the boy be. Mira won't hurt him. I think she actually likes this one. He might not just be another conquest.'

Alexis relaxed a little. 'You're right. It's his choice.'

'So what next?'

'How are things with you and Atton? Other than the obvious, of course.'

'He's a really great guy. I just need to get myself under control. He's beating me at this game hands down. He's got my head spinning. The thing with the shower? That's utter brilliance, my friend. And he left. He didn't try to take advantage of the situation. I could barely contain myself and he just walked out.'

Alexis smiled. 'I think that you can get him off balance, too. It shouldn't be too hard.'

'What about you?'

Alexis shook her head. 'Not yet. I still don't know. I'm so indecisive. One minute I've decided I'm going to throw myself at him and the next I realize that I should leave before I hurt him any more. For the moment, I'm not going to do anything.'

Kalen nodded. 'I'll agree with the indecisive factor. But you and I both know what you should do.'

'It seems so selfish,' Alexis said uncertainly.

'But is it?'

'You and your barbed questions.'

'They are only barbed because you let them be.'

Alexis sighed and ran a weary hand through her hair. 'Tell me this. Where do you see you and Atton going? Marriage? A family? Children? Does Atton want those things? Do you?'

'I do. As for Atton, I don't know. I think that he does, though. Maybe it's just wishful thinking on my part? Maybe, when we're finally comfortable with one another, I'll ask him. It's something you and Carth could try.'

Alexis sighed. 'I want to, but I'm afraid.'

'He isn't going to hurt you, Lexi. The man loves you. Give him a chance. I'm getting very tired of you standing back and letting life pass you by. Yes, you made a mistake. Yes, it hurt a lot of people. But you're not that girl anymore. I think that you're hurting Carth far more than you ever hurt anyone when you were Darth Revan. Do you know why? Because Carth knows you. He knows that you're not like that. And when you're like that to him, it cuts him to the quick. Can't you see it, Lexi? Where are you? You've got your emotions locked up so tight that you might fall because of your indifference. Let go!'

Alexis bit her lip and stared at Kalen helplessly. Why did she have to be so... right? Defeated, Alexis let her shoulders slump. 'Kalen... every time I feel something, I feel as if I'm betraying the Jedi. I have tried to convince myself that I can't live that way but it's so hard to break a habit that has been mine since the day I was born. Even as a Sith, I was indifferent to any real emotion. Surface emotions, yes, but anything deeper than that couldn't touch me. And now they're... swarming me like mynocks. Hurt, jealousy, fear, love, joy, sadness... Look at me! I'm an emotional cripple. And it's my own fault.'

Kalen took Alexis by the hand, gently, but firmly. 'You can't do it by yourself. You have to let go enough to let others in before we can help you. We want to help you, Lexi. Give us the chance.'

Alexis nodded. 'I want to. I want to so bad that it hurts.'

Kalen squeezed her hand and Alexis stared at their intertwined fingers, hoping that she could do what Kalen asked. They sat there together for a long time. Finally, Kalen broke the silence. 'I don't think that you kept me here to talk about how you were feeling. I don't believe it for a minute. So, what am I here for?'

Alexis smiled faintly. 'Two more things. Do you think that Dustil would make a decent Jedi?'

'I think that he would be a very good Jedi. Carth would have too for that matter. Dustil's a powerful young man. His heart is good and his mind is sharp. I think that we can train him. Hasn't he already had basic Force training?'

Alexis nodded. 'He was in training to be a Sith on Korriban.'

'So he'll just need a little retraining. I'll bet he's pretty sharp with a lightsaber. Maybe you should give him to me,' Kalen said hopefully.

'I have to get him to agree to become a Jedi first. He's been going to school to be an engineer, I believe. What if he sees the Jedi as a waste of his time?'

'With Carth as his father? I doubt that.'

Alexis lowered her eyes. That was certainly true. 'Alright. One last question. What are you going to do about Mical?'

'What do you mean?'

Alexis looked into Kalen's eyes. She truly didn't know how Mical felt about her. Alexis knew that she'd promised the Disciple that she wouldn't tell Kalen, so how could she hint at it without betraying him? 'I think that he seems very upset. Closed off. I wasn't aware that he was such a recluse.'

'He's not. And you're right. I've been too preoccupied with Atton lately to even consider Mical. He doesn't seem well, does he? Perhaps I will speak with him.' Kalen looked thoughtful.

'That's all I ask. I know that he is a quiet man by nature, but I worry about him sometimes.' Alexis was relieved. Kalen would look into it and eventually come to understand. Afterwards, they could speak freely about it.

Kalen turned her eyes until Alexis had to look straight into them. Not many people did this on purpose and Alexis was a bit startled. 'Lexi, I want to ask you something,' her gaze was piercing. 'How do you feel right now?' She gave Alexis a wry smile. She was kidding, and yet she wasn't.

'Confused. And afraid.'

Kalen nodded. 'I think that that will do, for now. So, are you through interrogating me? May I return to my ship to torment my man?'

Alexis smiled. 'Yes. Pull a rug out from beneath him for me too, will you?'

Kalen smiled. 'You got it.'

---

Alexis slid into the bedroom where Carth and Dustil were, her shoes in her hand. They glanced up at her, but neither spoke. It was clear that they had been speaking, before she arrived, and Alexis felt a twinge of guilt. She should have knocked before entering so that they could have had the opportunity to tell her to go away.

'Hi guys,' Alexis said weakly, making her way to Carth's closet to deposit her boots and find something to wear to bed. When she emerged with one of Carth's t-shirts clamped tightly in her fist, Dustil made a strangling noise and looked over at Carth.

'She wears your shirts? And sleeps in your bed? And you two...' he trailed off, remembering himself. Ah, to be young and impulsive again, Alexis thought, without the ability to control one's tongue.

'I can go into the living room if you two are still busy,' Alexis said. 'I still have to brush my teeth anyway. I'll go ahead and go. You two have a lot of catching up to do, I'm sure.'

'Please, stay. Dad says you have something you want to talk to me about,' Dustil said quickly.

Alexis shook her head. 'It's late. Anything I have to say can wait until morning. It is better that the pair of you talk for a while. Besides, Carth needs to go to bed soon. If he does not rest, his cold won't go away.'

'Stay,' Carth said softly, and Alexis wavered until his gentle command. She wanted to stay, quite badly in fact, but it wasn't her place. Maybe Carth was trying to tell her that he wanted it to be.

'I'll go ahead and change clothes and brush my teeth. I'll be back,' she said reassuringly, walking out of the room.

Dustil turned to his father incredulously as soon as Alexis left. Carth waited patiently as his son fought for words. 'That... that gorgeous creature is sleeping in your bed in nothing but a t-shirt? And you haven't... She isn't...' Dustil was in shock.

Carth watched his son closely. The boy didn't really understand. Sometimes didn't think that he himself understood the problem. 'No,' Carth replied simply.

'Are you...' Dustil began. He flushed and Carth began to laugh.

'I'm not that old, Dustil.'

'I didn't quite mean it that way. It just seems like you'd have to be crazy,' Dustil finally said. He was back in control.

Carth studied his son once more. Carth knew that he'd been crazy ever since he met the woman. Now was no exception. 'I think I might be crazy. So what? I've been waiting this long. What's a few more months? At least she's finally back here.'

'You never loved Mother this much,' Dustil said softly. Carth glanced quickly at the boy. There was no reproach in his eyes, only pain.

'I know,' Carth replied sadly. 'Maybe if I had...'

Dustil took a deep breath and shook his head. 'No. Things were meant to happen this way. The Force united the two of you. I wouldn't have it any other way.'

So his son was becoming wiser as well. Carth nodded. 'Thank you, son.'

Dustil lowered his gaze, a frown creasing his brow. 'I hope things work out for the pair of you. Alexis is a good girl.'

'But still only a girl. Sith Lord or no, she's as innocent as a child in some respects. The Jedi didn't do her any favors.'

Dustil looked back up. 'I don't think that they did anyone any favors. Perhaps Alexis can begin to rectify that.'

'I'm sure she can.'

Alexis slid into the room in the silence that followed. She was wearing a bright green t-shirt this time that hung to her knees. Her long hair hung down her back and her bare feet made no sound as she moved with a dancer's grace across the carpeted floor.

She stopped next to the bed and glanced over at Dustil, who sat in the room's only chair. Alexis clamored into bed with Carth and sat a good distance from him. She pooled the sheets around her waist and nestled herself up against a pillow, all in an uneasy silence. When she was done, she turned to them, her chin up and her eyes bright.

Carth gave her a reassuring smile and she allowed herself to smile back, if only a little. She was so hard on herself sometimes. Carth wished idly that she'd loosen up a bit. 'So, what did you want to talk to us about?'

Alexis cleared her throat. 'You guys have heard that I'm going to attempt to rebuild the Jedi Order, right?'

So, Carth had been correct. Alexis wanted Dustil to become a Jedi. Well, Carth had no objections. He'd often thought that Dustil would have been perfect for exactly that. Especially now that his anger from four years previous had worn away.

'Alexis, you don't have to ask. I'd be happy to serve the Jedi,' Dustil said with certainty. Dustil was certainly a sharp young man. Carth was quite proud of him.

'Are you sure that that's what you want?' Carth asked carefully.

Alexis turned to look at him. She looked as if she thought he disapproved. 'You don't think that it's a good idea?' she asked.

'Of course it's a good idea,' Dustil said firmly.

Carth smiled at her. 'I just wanted to make sure that Dustil really meant it. I think that he'll make an excellent Jedi.'

Carth watched as his son turned a proud smile towards him. Carth nodded. 'Thanks,' the boy said.

Alexis watched them both with that soft, loving expression that she wiped away so quickly when she realized that it was there. Carth had to resist the urge to sigh. If only she'd openly turn that expression on him, he would feel complete again.

Dustil noticed her expression as well and looked away from the raw emotion on her face as if it pained him. 'Kalen would like to be your Master,' Alexis said finally, her eyes cooling once more and her expression hardening.

Dustil smiled at her. 'I'd be happy to have her.'

'Are you sure that you won't regret abandoning your career in engineering?' She asked him gently. Carth knew that she didn't want Dustil to feel trapped.

'Listen,' Dustil said finally, wiping her hands across his eyes, 'I know you won't believe me until I have slept on it. I'll go to bed and in the morning, I'll return to you with the same answer. Then will you believe me?'

Alexis nodded. 'If you still feel this way in the morning, I promise that I'll leave you alone.'

'Great. Now, go to sleep. You both need the rest,' he said, standing. He left the room in an instant. Alexis leveled her uneasy gaze on Carth.

'So, are you staying here or going elsewhere to sleep?' Carth asked. He hoped that his tone masked how much he wanted her to stay. If she left, he wouldn't sleep a wink.

Without a word, Alexis made her way to his side and lowered her head onto his chest. She shut her eyes tightly and lay her palm on his chest, directly above his heart. Carth was so startled that he nearly pulled away. Voluntary dependence on another human being, hhmm? This was very out of character.

'Lexi?' He said gently, touching her face. She didn't open her eyes or speak, she just titled her face a little bit into his hand. Why was she behaving so strangely?

Carth slid down the bed until his head was resting on his pillow, pulling Alexis with him as he moved. She opened her eyes slowly when they were nestled down on the bed. He pulled the blankets up and gently began to rub at her back and her hair. Knowing she was skittish, he moved carefully, his caresses light.

Alexis let out a deep breath and slowly, her body relaxed completely against his. He could feel every tiny curve of her. She looked up at him, her eyes wide. He tilted his head forward and tenderly kissed each eyelid and the tip of her nose. She smiled and Carth pulled back, unwilling to go any farther. The next step was hers, no matter how long it took.

Alexis shut her eyes again and Carth continued his gentle ministrations. Her breathing relaxed into the deep, slow patterns of rest. He smiled contentedly down at her and kissed the top of her head. She smiled slightly, even in her sleep.