Moment of Truth

A/N: Since I'm the contest coordinator, and the subject of this challenge is my idea, the votes for this entry will not count towards this contest. This is a non-voting entry. I simply wrote this for fun (and as kind of an experiment in first person), so while thumbs up (and reviews) will certainly be appreciated by me, they will not be officially counted for this contest.

***

She terrifies me.

She's sitting on the other end of the Endar Spire's mess hall, data pad in hand, long legs propped up on the empty seat next to her and sipping a cup of caffa. She looks perfectly normal, but just looking at her makes my throat tighten.

Her functional but well tailored clothing make her look like an aristocrat off on an adventure.

Minuet Avery. Rich girl. Archaeologist. Hired by the Jedi to travel to Dantooine to look at some ancient ruins.

But I know what she really is... even though she doesn't.

She rises, stuffs the datapad she'd been reading into a leather satchel, and heads towards me. I tell myself that she's simply headed towards the door. It takes all of my Jedi training not to reach for the blaster that hangs on my hip where my lightsaber should be. Instead, my hand drifts into one of my pockets and touches the remote detonator stored there as I recite the Jedi Code in my mind.

My fingers linger over the device that could end her life in a spilt second -- a remote that would trigger the explosive chip buried in the base of her skull. It brings me some morbid comfort to know that I could blow her head clean off her shoulders if she should get out of control once again. If the monster that is buried inside of her roars to life.

I should be glad that one of our fallen has a chance at redemption; that's the Jedi way. Instead I keep thinking of all of the atrocities that I've seen her commit. Torn apart, war ravaged planets. Kidnapped and tortured Jedi. An entire generation of Jedi gone, seduced or tortured into accepting the dark side. Friends and colleagues, people I grew up with, trained with, respected, now gone because of her arrogant refusal to head the Council's warnings.

It is hard not to hate her. Just as hard as it is not to fear her. I know that somewhere deep down inside of her is the monster, because I've seen it emerge.

This isn't the first time the Jedi Council has set her loose.

The first failed attempt was several months ago. There have been three since then, but each time the Council tried to implant her with a false personality, it fell apart, as her real personality warred with the implanted one. Each time, she went half mad before they wiped her mind and tried again.

The last failure almost killed me.

Fueled by fear, panic, and confusion, she'd thought she was going mad. With a stolen vibroblade, she ran me through, puncturing my lung and rupturing my spleen. And I got off easy. One of my friends now has a mechanical arm thanks to her. It took four of us to subdue her that time.

But this time, the Council says will be different. They stopped trying to give her the personality they thought she should have. Stopped trying to make her obedient, dutiful, patient and meek. They simply wiped what was left of her memories, gave her a few false ones and allowed her true personality to emerge.

That idea frightens me, but the Council calls it a success since the bouts of madness have stopped. I call it a success because this time they put the explosive chip in her skull. I could care less that there have been no signs of trouble since then, that she's been integrated back into society with no evidence that this time the madness will overwhelm her.

It's not very Jedi like of me, but her successful integration back into society makes me furious. She should remember all of the worlds she ravaged, all of the people she destroyed. She doesn't deserve to get off this easily, she doesn't deserve a second chance, but the alternative is too dangerous, and a galaxy hangs in the balance. And in the end, I know that's what really matters.

That doesn't stop me from wanting to kill her. I know myself well enough to realize that if she gives me any reason at all, I'll use the detonator without hesitation.

She approaches, and my heart stops for a second and I recite the Jedi code in an effort to keep my emotions under control. I wonder whether or not she'll recognize me, but there isn't any flash of recognition in her dark eyes as she passes, just an absent smile, a flash of white teeth against brown skin, and a nod. She's not really looking at the middle-aged, grey-haired man in the ensign's uniform with the unmemorable face that can blend into any crowd. She simply walks past me and the door softly swishes shut behind her.

But I realize that I wasn't the only one watching her. Captain Onasi's tired brown eyes narrow as he stares at the door, thoughtfully. He tries to be casual as he strolls over to my table, but he can't hide the suspicion that tightens his broad shoulders.

He doesn't take his eyes from the door as he asks, 'Are you alright, Ensign Ulgo?'

Even though I am a Jedi, and several years older than him, Captain Onasi's authoritative voice triggers an automatic instinct to snap to attention, but before I can even rise, he waives me back into my seat.

'Yes, sir.'

He frowns down at me. 'Are you sure? You look pale.'

I shrug, trying to be as casual as possible. The lie falls easily off my lips. 'I think it must have been the Rodesian stew, sir. It didn't quite agree with me.'

He pulls a face as he studies the half eaten green goo on my plate. A strong hand claps my shoulder. He makes a half-hearted joke. 'You're a brave man, Ensign. Take my advice and stick to the Corellian Noodles next time.'

'I will, sir.'

He hesitates, and I can tell that he's trying to figure out how to breach the subject. 'The woman who just left... what do you know about her?'

My mind kicks into overdrive as I try to decide how little to reveal to him. 'Not much, sir. She's been bunking in our crew quarters, but I haven't seen much of her on account of my shift. She came in with the Jedi, I think. Archaeologist or something.'

His frown deepens at the word 'Jedi.' It had been obvious that the Captain had been less than thrilled at being assigned to babysit the Jedi. Probably just about as thrilled as Bastila is at having him assigned to her.

His jaw hardens in a tight line. 'Right. Jedi.' He gives me a distracted nod. 'Excuse me, Ensign. I have some business to take care of.'

It isn't hard to guess what business he's referring to, and I'm almost certain that Bastila is going to have an unwanted and irritated visitor in a few short minutes.

He nods and takes his leave, still frowning. My frown matches his because I know that Captain Onasi's suspicions have been raised and we will have to be doubly careful. I will have to report this to Bastila, and she will not be happy.

Captain Onasi is a good man, but more importantly a stubborn and tenacious one. I debate whether or not I should warn Bastila, but decide that taking the chance of blowing my cover isn't worth the risk. Bastila will have to find a way to deal with him on her own.

And I will have to find a way to deal with the monster in our midst.

As I leave the mess hall, my hand closes around the explosive device in my pocket once more. I don't agree with the Council's decision. I think they should have executed her for her crimes the first chance they got, but they have spoken, and it's my duty to carry out their orders. But one false move, one more outburst of madness or violence, and I won't hesitate to use the detonator.

I know she will fall again. It's just a matter of time. And when she does, I'll kill her without hesitation.

Secure in my intentions, I head to the Endar Spire's bridge to begin my shift, shoving these un-Jedilike thoughts from my mind.

Three hours later, all hell has broken loose, and I'm looking through the front viewport of the Endar Spire which is spiraling into the blue green city planet of Taris below. Bright dots flash in the field of black as our fighters try to hold off half of the Sith fleet while one the ship our soldiers try to hold off the boarding Sith troops, as the crew evacuates to the escape pods.

I should be helping the Jedi and the soldiers hold the troopers off, but my comm beeps instead. It's Bastila. 'Find Minuet Avery. Find her before the Sith do and bring her to the escape pods.'

It cuts out before I have time to protest that rescuing a killer is the last thing I should be doing. I briefly debate completely disobeying Bastila's orders. Running through the smoke filled halls, watching good men and women die, while I run to rescue a murderer instead of helping them fight goes against all of my instincts. But I go, and I know that it's not because of some sense of duty, or even the trust I have in the Jedi Council, but because I shudder to think what would happen if the Sith find her.

Maybe they wouldn't recognize her. Maybe they'd just kill her. But I can't take that chance. If she falls into the wrong hands, it could be beyond dangerous.

And so I ignore the screams for help, and step over dying crew members as I race to find her. I duck into the corridor that leads to her crew quarters, now full of acrid black smoke, and hold my breath. My lungs burn and eyes sting, and I can't see a damn thing. I have to count on the Force to guide me to the doorway.

After fumbling for the control pad, the door swooshes open and I stumble through, blinking the tears out of my eyes, securing the door behind me. It takes me a few seconds for my smarting eyes to clear.

She's standing in the middle of the room, dark eyes wide, sweat glistening on her brown skin, holding a blaster in two shaking hands. I don't need my Jedi senses to tell me that she's absolutely terrified.

'Hey, are you Minuet Avery?' I ask in between coughs, stalling for time as my hand settles over the detonator again.

Her voice shakes as much as her hands, but her eyes are clear of any sign of madness. I let go of the detonator as she says,'Yeah.'

'I've been sent to find you. We've been ambushed by a Sith battle fleet. Hurry up, we don't have much time. We have to you to the escape pods now.'

'Me? What about the Jedi, aren't they more important?' she asks. It's a valid question. One I don't want her thinking about too hard, or raising her suspicions over.

I don't give her the chance.

'Those are my orders,' I snap, before opening the door to the corridor. 'Follow me.'

She does. We make our way back into the corridor and into the smoke. I guide her as she trips over the bodies on the floor, and it seems to take forever to get through the acrid blackness, but abruptly the smoke clears as we stumble right into the middle of a fire fight.

I can't see a damn thing, my eyes still watering from the smoke, but I use the force to guide my blaster, and manage to take down two Sith troopers. To my shock, she does the same thing.

I blink at her under the florescent lighting and a horrible suspicion sneaks through me: that she's using the Force to guide her shots. But if she is, she doesn't realize it. The look on her face is pure shock as she looks at the trooper she just gunned down.

I shout, 'Keep moving!' guiding her to the bridge, not wanting to think of the implications of Revan being able to subconsciously use the Force, trying to focus instead on getting the hell out of there.

We run through the abandoned bridge, through another corridor. I shove her roughly towards another door. 'This way to the starboard section.'

The explosions on the ship nearly drowned out my voice. I grab her elbow and urge her into a run, shouting, 'Come on, hurry!'

We're halfway down another corridor when she stops dead in her tracks and stares at the door at the end of the hall.

'What are you doing? We have to keep moving!'

She grabs my shoulder and shakes her head, 'We don't want to go that way.'

'What? Why not?' I ask, afraid of the answer. And then I feel them. There is a Dark Jedi on the other side of the door headed right for us.

The doors at the end of the hallway slid open and a tall bald man dressed in black leather with a red lightsaber in his hand. He is a powerful force user, and he's not alone. I can feel the others in his party coming up behind him.

I don't have time to think, just act. I shove her through the open door on our left. She hits the far wall with a thud and looks at me with dazed eyes. I toss her the comm from my pocket and shout, 'I'll hold him off as long as I can. Go!'

The doors slide shut, and I shoot the control panel with my blaster. As it pops and sparks, I realize what I've done.

I've just sacrificed myself for a monster.

The Dark Jedi doesn't waste any time, coming up behind me, burying his red lightsaber in my back. I fall to the ground as he curses at the wrecked panel.

Pain explodes through my body, but I turn my baster on him. With one savage slash, he cuts off my right hand, leaving just the cauterized stump. I lie on the floor, dazed with pain, weaponless and helpless.

The Dark Jedi doesn't even finish me off, simply dismissing me as inconsequential. As he ignites his lightsaber, I can hear her shouting and pounding on the other side of the door. It takes me a few seconds to realize that she's trying to force her way back in.

She's trying to come back and save me.

The Dark Jedi stabs the door with his red blade and begins to cut. More sparks fly, this time from the door.

If he catches her, he'll kill her. Or worse, recognize her. I can't allow that to happen, so I send her a mental command.

Move! Move or die!

She hesitates for a split second and then obeys, and I can sense her running down the far corridor. Another minute passes with me slumped helpless on the floor, before the Dark Jedi cuts through and follows her.

As the life flows from my body, I can feel them both getting farther and farther away, and I have to stretch my senses to the limit to sense them. Through the mental fog that's slipping over me I can feel a spike of panic from her, followed by relief. A pair of Sith Troopers walk by, and from their comm I hear reports that the last escape pod has been fired.

Lying there broken on the floor, I realize that I have one last choice to make. The detonator is still in my pocket. It has a very long range. I could kill her with a press of a button.

I reach for it, hold it in my hand, and tell myself that Revan can not be set loose on a planet without a Jedi escort. That for the safety of the galaxy, I need to kill her now.

But I can't do it, and I'm surprised. I thought that it would be easy. But she tried to come back for me, someone who is a complete and utter stranger, and while that doesn't outweigh her other crimes or bring back my friends that she killed, I figure that it has to count for something. Maybe the Jedi Council was right all along.

As the world fades to black, I hope that this time will be different for her. I hope that I haven't condemned an entire galaxy with one decision. I hope that somehow she can find redemption.