Lost and Found: Chapters 3 - 5

'Has this Admiral ever heard of a chronometer?' Mira muttered, pushing herself up from where she leaned against the doorframe.

Sarii idly twisted a piece of hair around her finger, the déjà vu all too familiar to be ignored.

Once again she was on the Citadel. Once again, she was sitting in a room waiting for some official to inform her on what she was supposed to be doing.

Once again, I'm going to be asked if I'll follow Revan. She frowned.

Well, she'd deal with that once the Admiral arrived, assuming he ever did. They had been sitting there for the better part of an hour, and it was beginning to get to both the bounty hunter and Sarii herself; both of whom didn't much like feeling trapped.

Even Mical looked impatient, his posture stiff as he rolled his neck.

Atton gave a loud sigh.

'Atton, will you quit worrying about the Hawk already?' Sarii called to where he stood near the window, tapping out random rhythms against the glass with his fingers.

'Hey, if it was that easy for a bunch of snow bunnies to steal it last time, I think I've got precedence for worry.'

'The ship is still in a considerable amount of disrepair, Atton. I doubt it will attract any untoward attention,' Mical added.

'Right,' the pilot muttered derisively, 'And when we get back to the dock and there's nothing but an empty hanger waiting for us, you can step right up and tell us where we're going to find another one.'

'Rand's got a point,' Mira said. 'That Wookiee didn't find it too hard to get on board a year or so ago-'

'The ship was half torn apart. The gangplank was malfunctioning and you were the only one on board,' Sarii replied, pushing herself up from the table and ambling around the room.

The bounty hunter rolled her eyes, scoffing.

'There were plenty of parts lying around for the hairball to salvage and sell on the black market, but he didn't touch any of them. Just took the droids.'

'Just the droids,' Sarii repeated. 'Maybe he specialized in selling them or something.'

But they were Revan's droids...the HK model said so-

'Perhaps the Admiral will be able to shed some light on it,' Mical offered.

'You never did find out about those datapads, did you?' Sarii asked, turning to her Padawan. He shook his head.

I think the Admiral will be able to tell us something about that too, he replied, frowning.

Sarii stared at him questioningly but Mical offered nothing more.

'We are in the right module, aren't we?' she said, checking the datapad again. 'Diplomatic Module 002-'

'I give this guy ten more minutes,' Mira broke in, leaning over the table towards Sarii, 'And then I say we hit the space lanes. I don't know how it works in the Republic, but I've learned that when a guy's late, it usually doesn't mean anything good-'

As if on cue, the doors of the waiting room they had been directed to finally opened. Instinct made her turn immediately, and she had a hard time keeping herself from saluting.

That's because we were the ones that handled the Republic- the Jedi 'Generals' and 'Admirals' that Revan appointed. We dealt with the logistics of being in official armed forces, the nitty-gritty of commanding squadrons and platoons.

All she did was point us places with her lightsaber.

'I'm glad you came, Master Jedi. I wasn't entirely sure if I still had the authority to order you here or not.'

She had only met Admiral Onasi once, but his face was easy to remember. Even in exile she had seen it plastered across the HoloNet and various newsvids; the brown hair that men across the galaxy had tried to imitate but could never quite pick the right two wayward strands to fall into their eyes.

'I'm still a member of the Republic, Admiral,' Sarii answered readily. 'It's the least I can do.'

Respect non-Force users. Respect the Republic. We learned that lesson very quickly- being a Jedi didn't mean a damn thing if you didn't have the brains and leadership to back it up. And if you didn't have them in a time of war, the people under your command paid the price.

Revan didn't learn that lesson. We did.

I did.

'Still, after all you've done for Telos and the Jedi Order, I can't imagine that you're itching to take on another fight.'

'You sought adventure, you hungered for battle. You could not wait to follow Revan to war.'

'I went to war to protect others, Atris,' Sarii forced through her teeth. 'Not for battle.'

It felt like the thousandth time she had had this argument. Only this time, there was another sentient on the accusing end of it, not her own battered conscience.

'Depends on what we're fighting for,' Mira murmured.

'I guess this would be the rest of the crew of the Ebon Hawk,' the Admiral prompted, looking over her shoulder at the rest of them.

'Mira,' Sarii said, gesturing towards each in turn. 'My pilot, Atton Rand-'

'Like how she flies?' the Admiral interrupted. Atton studied him suspiciously before replying.

'For a piece of junk, she flies fine.'

Sarii watched Onasi narrow his eyes for a moment like he was willing to spend an hour or so debating Atton about that.

'-And my Padawan, Mical.'

The two men nodded to each other.

'I won't waste much of your time, Master Jedi,' Onasi continued, seating himself across the table from her. 'You'll probably want to get started as soon as you can-'

That's what you think, she thought, biting her lip and nodding guiltily.

'And sorry for being late,' the Admiral added, taking off his hat. 'Had to settle a few things with my children.'

He has children? I guess he's old enough...but he's in love with Revan. Are they Revan's children? What the hell is going on-

'What, exactly, are we getting started on here?' Mira said, turning a chair over and sitting on the back of it.

'All this talk about true Sith and ancient Sith has probably been common knowledge in the Jedi Order, but the Republic's become concerned about this threat. The attack on Telos seemed isolated, but we're not willing to take any chances.'

Sarii tried to act more attentive than she was, sitting up straight and folding her hands neatly on her lap, nodding every few words.

In reality she wanted to get out of here, get off of the station, back onto the Hawk, get as far away as she could from anything that was close to the past, that was close to Revan or the Mandalorian Wars.

Admiral Carth Onasi was about as close as she could get.

'Under the jurisdiction of myself and Admiral Dodonna, we're beginning a mission to the Unknown Regions, where the Jedi Council's said that the Sith are massing-'

'Where Revan went,' Sarii couldn't help adding.

'Revan?' Mira broke in, looking from her to the Admiral.

Only three words (well, probably just the one) had somehow thrown the Republic officer's momentum off track, and he watched her for a minute.

'Admiral Onasi, I know what you're going to ask me to do,' she continued quickly, ignoring Mira and trying to ignore the look on the Admiral's face. 'And I can't do it.'

Onasi opened his mouth.

'No, I can do it,' Sarii added, 'But I won't. She's not my responsibility. Ten years ago I might have followed her. But it's not ten years ago anymore, and she's no longer the woman I thought she was. I'm very sorry for your...loss, but I'm afraid I can't help you.'

'She said that there were places where she had to walk where I could not go - places that she could not bring those she loved.'

There were so many things she wanted to say. To ask him what woman he had known, if it had been the same woman who had cut down Mandalore, practically grinned as she stripped the surviving Mandalorians of their basilisks, ordered Sarii into the jungles of Dxun or the battles at Althir.

But the way she would have phrased these questions would have only hurt him, and Revan had obviously done enough of that herself. So Sarii just nodded.

'Master Jedi,' Onasi said, leaning back in his chair and raising an eyebrow. 'I didn't say a word about her yet-'

'I'm sorry, sir, but I'm not going after her-'

'I'm not asking you to.'

Five words (well, probably just the 'not') stopped Sarii dead in her tracks.

'To be honest, Jedi Zhen, I don't quite trust anyone else to chase her down except me. And that's what I'm doing.'

'You're going after her?' Sarii sputtered. 'No offense intended, Admiral, but after eight years, what finally made you-'

'Eight years?' Admiral Onasi broke in.

Why the hell is he looking at me like I'm using carbonite as bath soap?

'Does someone want to fill the rest of us in here?' Atton said loudly, leaning over her chair and staring down at her.

'That's what you said, Admiral. You said Revan left you after the Star Forge, and you had been waiting for her, and she went off by herself in the Ebon Hawk, and she asked you to stay and keep the Republic strong,' Sarii replied testily, momentarily forgetting how lightly she had been treading around mentions of Revan, of her last conversation with the Admiral; forgetting her concerns about upsetting him.

There was a moment of silence.

'You bought that?' Onasi said in astonishment, any hint of officialdom disappearing from his tone and his posture.

Well. I'm officially lost.

The Admiral seemed to fight for a few minutes against smiling, and finally caved on a scoff, running a hand through his hair.

'No offense intended either, Master Jedi, but I'm pretty damn surprised you believed me. I didn't think I was very good at lying.'

He was easy to read, and all she felt was that he missed Revan as much as he said he did, that he loved her more than he was telling. The onslaught of emotions made Sarii embarrassed, like something that personal shouldn't be so easily accessible, and she stopped probing his mind instantly.

'Admiral, are you suggesting that everything you told Master Zhen was a lie?' Mical said.

'Because you were pretty damn convincing if it all was.' Sarii spat indignantly.

'Well...not...everything,' Onasi murmured, rubbing his neck. 'It's true she left, but she'd only been gone for a couple months, not four years-'

He scoffed again.

'Four years,' the Admiral muttered under his breath. 'Or for that matter, eight. Like I would have sat here just waiting around until she decided to come back. Hell, I was ready to find her after six months. I'm surprised I'm still here after even a year and a half-'

'Okay, let's stop all this talk about years and months and people leaving,' Mira snapped. 'Like everyone in the galaxy knows, Revan killed Malak and blew up the Star Forge. Like most people in the galaxy suspect, she's still alive and turned good in the end. Like a lot of Jedi are pretty sure of, she's off in the Unknown Regions fighting these Sith creatures no one seems to know much about. Now, when did she leave to go do this?'

'A year and a half ago.' Onasi replied.

'Fine. Now, where was she when you gave Sarii here your little sob story about how she'd been gone for four years?'

The Admiral frowned but answered the bounty hunter all the same.

'Then she was just in hiding-'

'In hiding?' Mical interrupted. 'Where? From what?'

Onasi looked impatient, and he exhaled loudly.

'The Jedi were being hunted down, in case you hadn't noticed. Like every other Jedi, she hid-'

'She's not a Jedi, she's a traitor!'

Out the windows of the Republic cruiser Sarii and the rest of the party of Jedi could see the lines of three or four ships moving in a slow, deliberate pattern towards them. It was almost graceful, if you ignored the fact that she had a horrible feeling in the pit of her stomach.

'They've returned,' One of her companions whispered.

Of course they have, she thought, rolling her eyes. Even the weakest of Force sensitives could have sensed Revan and Malak on one of those ships.

Sarii straightened her robes, made sure her lightsaber was properly attached to her belt. The Council was issuing calls for every Jedi who had fought in the Mandalorian Wars, the Republic had been quietly panicking as they tried desperately to recover from their losses despite their victory- everything had had a barely discernable scent of collapse while Revan and Malak had been gone.

But now they had returned, and she couldn't understand why the panic was still in her stomach.

'Unidentified ship, please respond,' One of the communications officers called out again. The crew of the Republic ship seemed to get edgier with each passing second.

The other ship merely drifted towards them, silent and growing larger in the windows.

Revan?

Sarii called her leader's name timidly. She had rarely been in casual conversation with the Jedi, and to use her name now, especially through the Force, felt awkward and far too intimate.

What was more awkward, however, was the wall of silence that followed.

This wasn't right. They could feel the two Jedi on the ship; knew they were there, but they didn't feel the same-

All at once, a flurry of red and green fire exploded out of the turrets that dotted the surfaces of Revan and Malak's new ships. She felt her jaw drop.

The collective gasp from the bridge made even Sarii and her companions jump as they watched the tiny dots and lines of bright blaster fire slam into one of their accompanying Republic cruisers.

The dead were immediately overwhelming, making Sarii wince and feel dizzy. It was utter silence on the bridge. The screams of the dying and the sounds of metal exploding apart were muted through the blackness of space.

The captain of their ship opened his mouth a few seconds too late.

'Move us out of-'

Their sister cruiser exploded in a bright flash of red and orange before their eyes. The ship they were on was rocked back from the impact of the other ship's destruction, and the bridge was overwhelmed with the noises of alarms and injured or panicking crewmembers.

Revan!

It was indignant now, all traces of propriety or respect gone from Sarii's mind.

The why's and the how's beat unmercifully against her skull, but Sarii ignored them, exchanging glances with one of her fellow Jedi as the captain of the ship barked out orders for retreat, for a quick hyperspace jump back towards Core space.

She had fired on them. Their leader, Jedi Revan, had just destroyed a fully-manned Republic cruiser before their very eyes, and was powering up to destroy another one.

The words hurled out of her lips from where they had wrestled their way through her cringing stomach and up her tightened throat.

You're a Jedi, she rushed to remind herself, seven words too late. And they don't act like this. No matter what she means to you, she means something entirely different to him. Your Padawan is watching you, and if you get angry, he'll get angry-

Already she could sense Mical holding the edges of the table in uncertainty, ready to rise and follow her out if storming back to the ship was going to be her next action.

Apologize, be brave and be honest and apologize-

'I'm sorry. That was uncalled for.'

Sarii was reasonably certain this was one of the most awkward moments of her life, but it didn't stop her from making the words come out along with one long, deep, calming breath.

Onasi wasn't as handsome as he had obviously once been, but Sarii was pretty sure it wasn't all because of age. He seemed marred now by one too many scars; a few more worry lines than necessary:

The look in his eyes that made him seem a lot older than she thought he was.

'You've been honest with me, Exile. I'm sorry I haven't been the same way.'

She found herself wondering how the atmosphere had changed so completely. At first it had been one General to one Admiral, politely declining an order; and now it was Jedi Knight Sarii Zhen's emotional baggage facing off against Admiral Carth Onasi's, one wounded pair of blue eyes against brown.

'I'm going to take my own personal ship and trace her back to where her last message was sent and the last position the homing device had her at-'

'You were really keeping tabs on her,' Atton murmured, whistling.

'What, and if I knew she was going to go I should have just let her without any way of knowing where she was going or what she was going to do?' Onasi replied, rolling his eyes. 'I guess that old reputation I used to have as a decorated war hero and a strategic commander isn't going around too much anymore.'

Okay, okay, so you're not completely confused, Revan's in the Unknown Regions just like you thought she was-

'Why did she leave?' Sarii demanded.

'I don't completely understand why she left. My son's tried to explain it to me a hundred times, but either I'm not hearing him or I just don't want to listen-'

His son? Who the hell is his son and what does he have to do with any of this-

'By the way, he says he's sorry,' Onasi murmured suddenly, smirking up at Mical.

'Your son?' Atton broke in.

'My son Dustil.'

'The Council has become increasingly aware of the possible threat growing in the Unknown Regions. Recently we have been reminded of what it might claim should it ever reach the Republic by Jedi Dustil-'

'Revan refused the help of other Jedi,' Master Bindo interrupted, the look he shot to the Twi'lek making it obvious that the rest of Jedi Dustil whomever's name was no minor detail. 'Even her own Padawan was left behind-'

Mical exhaled, half frustrated and half relieved.

'I hope he found whatever it was he was looking for, though next time he might consider asking.'

Noticing the look on her face, her Padawan grasped one of his datapads out of his bag, waving it at her.

Okay, Sarii thought, trying not to look confused. His son's Revan's Padawan, her Padawan stole Mical's datapads about our battles, that explains a little bit-

'And the droids?' Mira piped up. Onasi shrugged.

'The droids were hers. She took them back.'

'They were on our ship!' Atton said angrily, leaning over the table.

'Technically it's not your ship, kid,' the Admiral replied smoothly. 'You're just lucky Mission and Zaalbar decided otherwise.'

At the mention of Mission, Sarii tried to sense what it meant to Atton, who looked shocked for a moment but quickly recovered into his usual scowl.

All she got for her trouble was a barrage of Pazaak numbers, and she frowned.

'Just lucky,' Sarii repeated. 'So she took my droids, stole my Padawan's research, and took off for the Unknown Regions, without you or your son, presumably her Padawan...how does any of this explain why you didn't just tell me this four years ago?'

'Cause it wouldn't have,' Atton muttered over his shoulder, rolling his eyes. 'You know, helped us out or anything to talk to Revan herself.'

'How do we know you're not making this story up too, Admiral?' Sarii added, despite the fact that truth was practically stamped on all of his words. Onasi glared at her.

'Oh no, don't even try and pull the wounded trust act on me, sister. I did what I had to do. I didn't know you beyond your service records, and I certainly didn't know anyone else traveling with you.'

Sarii wondered if it was just her imagination that he seemed to eye Atton in particular as he said this.

'I don't care if you were the last Jedi in the galaxy or the greatest Jedi Master that ever lived. I'm not going to do anything to endanger my wife or my children-'

His wife?

'If that involved lying to you, then so be it. You might have helped save Telos, but as I know from experience even the best Jedi can turn easily.'

He paused, staring Sarii directly in the eye.

'I'm sure you know that by now too.'

The Admiral sat back up in his chair, reaching for his hat and running his fingers over the edges of it.

'She doesn't have anything to do with what I'm proposing for you and your crew.'

Sarii's head was spinning. His pause felt misplaced; she felt like it should have gone after the 'I'm sure you know that', not before-

'I've been given clearance for this mission if and only if I send information back to the Republic every step of the way about our progress in learning more about these new Sith; their capabilities, their resources, everything.'

Onasi sighed, vague guilt coming off of him like a heavy fog.

'But my first priority is her. Finding her and bringing her back. Everything else takes a backseat.'

He put his hat back on, looking up at her again.

'I need you and your crew to accompany us to the Unknown Regions and from there split up. I need you to investigate the Sith and notify the Republic of what you find. While you're doing that, I'll be the one looking for her.'

Sarii watched him stand up from the table, his stance familiar- she had seen in a hundred of her superiors and underlings, had even perfected it herself.

Feet only slightly apart, hands clasped quietly behind your back, standing straight, shoulders squared, head level, makes you look confident. Inspires people who put store in your decisions, not in the lightsaber that hangs from your belt.

'I wouldn't ask you to follow her. I wouldn't ask that of anyone. I'm going to find her, and I'm going to bring her back to the people that need her. Now will you help me, or not?'

She felt herself begin to dumbly repeat his question, but stopped herself with only the 'n' having pushed itself between her tongue and upper teeth.

I'm crazy, I'm crazy and stupid for what I'm about to agree to, I'm about to join a trip that's going to bring her back from the dead and put her in front of me in all her smug flesh and blood glory-

'When do we leave?' Sarii finally answered, somehow keeping herself from scowling as she sensed the Admiral's obvious relief at her reply.

'The coordinates and most up-to-date maps we have will be sent to the Hawk. Leave as soon as you're prepared. I have a brief stop on Coruscant and I'll catch up with you from there.'

Onasi turned and exited the room with much less of a presence than he had entered it, obviously too distracted by his plans of chasing down Revan and whatever he had to do on Coruscant.

There was a long, awkward silence in which the only noises Sarii could hear was everyone distinctive breathing. Mical's, calm and even; Mira's short bursts of incredulity; Atton's, loud and forced through his nose.

She couldn't hear her own until she realized she was holding her breath, and Sarii finally let out a loud, exasperated sigh.

'Well, we've been hosed,' Mira finally said, lifting her leg over the back of the chair and folding her arms.

'Hosed?'

'You know, taken,' the bounty hunter snapped. 'Tricked, conned, played, duped...we've been had.'

Used, manipulated...

'He was one of my contacts during my time as an agent for the Republic,' Mical said, almost to himself. 'His son is becoming more and more well-known within the halls of the Jedi-'

Succumbing to the deceit of others doesn't make us weak, Mical, Sarii reassured him. It only makes those who resorted to trickery the weaker ones.

Master Kavar's usually quiet chuckle echoed loudly against her skull.

And where does your growing rage against those who deceived you come in, Padawan Zhen?

'This is going to be a long trip,' Sarii finally said, standing up and walking around to the front of the room. 'And it'll probably be of the more dangerous variety.'

She sighed impatiently under their skeptical looks.

'What I mean is that if you were looking to go off on your own, now would be the perfect time.'

'What, you mean worse than having three Sith Lords on our tail and every assassin in the galaxy popping up around every corner?' Mira said, one hand on her hip.

'You need someone around who's quickly learning how to keep that ship in one piece. I bet there'll be ample opportunity for Rand over there to smash it into something or other, and with Bao-Dur...'

Dead.

She would have known it even if he hadn't been pinned under half the bulkheads he had spent months repairing, even if one of the horns attached to his Zabrak skull wasn't half ripped off along with parts of his scalp.

She would have known because she could no longer feel his presence, like hers because it had seen the same things but stronger because they hadn't taken away his love of fixing things, his honest replies and his always ready 'Yes, General?'.

Sarii tried to look for a blanket or something to cover him with, wondered if she could drag him out onto the cold surface of Malachor Five by herself or if a makeshift burial would have to wait until her crewmates came out of unconsciousness.

All of it would have to wait until she defeated whatever was waiting for her out there.

Sarii sighed.

'Yeah, well my idea of a noble mission isn't to go into uncharted space on some old man's orders who's too busy chasing the Sith Lord he's got the hots for to do his own work,' Atton muttered.

'Then don't go,' she found herself saying. 'No one's making you stay.'

But I want him to stay.

Before she could think of some polite way to ask them to leave, Mical and Mira were already out the door, which hissed shut quietly behind them.

Her Padawan lingered briefly in her mind but gave up after a moment or so. Atton was hard to read; her feelings about him were even harder.

'Well...just leaving you like this would be pretty harsh,' The pilot said, obviously trying to back-pedal. 'You know, about to go running off to your death and everything.'

'You must go where Revan did, into the Unknown Regions, where the Sith, the true Sith, wait in the dark for the great war that comes.'

Must I? Must I?

'I mean, I'm not doing anything.' His sudden casual attitude was so different from his ten-second rant a moment ago that Sarii just stared at him.

'Hey, you could always use company beyond your Padawan there and Mira, who's, well, charming and all, but-'

Atton came closer to her, a couple inches taller and a nervous smile.

'Besides, if I'm not around to bail you out of trouble, who knows what could happen?'

She liked having him around. That was the extent of what she knew about herself and Atton Rand.

Sarii folded her arms in front of her.

'Who knows? So I guess you're coming, then.'

'I guess so. For the record, though, I just want to say that I have a bad feeling about this.'

She rolled her eyes as they turned and exited the waiting room, heading towards the docks.

'I mean, because last time, we were heading toward this mining colony on the edge of space, and there was this Sith Lord, and...'

---

'What's that?'

'Um...the Coruscant Xenozoology Museum.'

Carth actually had no way of knowing exactly what the immense building housed; and for all he knew, it very well could have been the Coruscant Xenozoology Museum.

In any case, it satisfied Celyn, who nodded sagely like she understood what 'xenozoology' was. He wasn't even sure he did.

He gripped her small hand, and she reluctantly held on as she had been doing since they stepped off the Chaser, tugging on him every five meters in the direction of something she wanted to see.

'Can't we go see the rest of the planet?' She said, dragging her heels and watching a bunch of speeders zip over their heads.

'Not now, Jawa. Later. When you're older.'

For all the times I've promised her that I'm going to practically have to give her a galactic tour, Carth thought ruefully.

On any other day it would have been fun to take his tenacious little girl around someplace as huge and bright as Coruscant; watch her explore everything and answer her millions of questions.

'How about you pay attention to that building, Celyn,' Dustil added, pointing towards the spires of the Jedi Temple. 'That's the only one we're going to.'

On any other day except today, when they were on their way to a meeting with the Jedi Council.

Carth let Dustil lead the way; he'd only been to the Jedi Temple maybe once or twice before.

'This is where all the Jedi live?' Celyn whispered, suddenly hushed by the gigantic pillars and loud tapping that their feet were making against the marble floors.

'It's their school, and sometimes where they work,' he answered. 'And right now we're on our way to talk to Dustil's bosses.'

Dustil snorted over his shoulder.

That's my son, effortlessly navigating the halls of the Jedi Temple.

When he thought back, he couldn't remember Dustil ever showing signs of having the Force when he was young. Or maybe he had and they had just never noticed or known what to look for. Watching him now Carth couldn't imagine him carrying any other tool besides the lightsaber at his side, wearing any other uniform besides the muted Jedi robes-

No, there was one other uniform he'd looked completely comfortable in. But that was a memory he'd rather not think about.

They paused outside the Council chambers while Dustil talked briefly with one of its guards. Carth sat down off to the side with Celyn, trying not to look as out of place as he felt.

His daughter squirmed free from the grip he'd had on her hand, taking one or two cautionary steps away from him to stare at the beat-up but still impressive fountain in the middle of the room.

'Are we going on a trip?' She suddenly said, turning back around.

'This is it, Celyn,' Carth replied, giving her a smile.

'No,' Celyn said impatiently, elongating the 'o'. 'Dustil keeps talking about going somewhere in his head. He thinks I can't hear him. Where are we going?'

'We're not going anywhere, Jawa.'

It was an entirely new experience being the parent of a kid who could sense when you were lying. You had to think of ways to get around it.

'We're not going anywhere' wasn't a lie. 'We're' included Celyn, and Celyn was most definitely not going anywhere beyond the walls of this building.

'Go on in, Father,' Dustil murmured, walking over to join them.

He took a deep breath before rising and entering the Council chambers.

Looking around the room at the varying sizes, shapes, and colors of the members of the Council, Carth couldn't understand what made him so nervous being in front of them. A couple humans who didn't look too much older than him (That was getting a little disturbing. Even the few times he had been in front of the Jedi Council, each time he seemed to be closer to them in age); a Twi'lek and a Zabrak. All of them wore the same non-descript robes; all of them sat in a quiet circle as if they had been waiting there their entire lives for him to walk in.

Because of what they can do...because if they wanted to, they could erase every memory I ever had and turn me into someone else too. Because they have powers I don't understand, and at any moment they could turn around and use them the wrong way.

Or maybe it was just their impassive gazes and unfathomable sets of eyes watching his every move with more scrutiny than they usually did--it obviously wasn't every day that a Republic Admiral requested a meeting with them.

'Admiral Onasi.'

Carth nodded.

'Members of the Council.'

He had no idea what the name of the female Zabrak who had murmured his in greeting was. For that matter, neither did he know the names of most of the people in the room; barring Jolee, who sat in the corner with his arms folded and an eyebrow raised.

The old man's hair- what little he had left- was now completely white. It stood out in stark contrast to his skin, wrinkled enough for Carth to know that he wasn't as active a Jedi as he used to be.

'The Council has expected to see you before us for some time,' said the Twi'lek, a darker shade of pink. Carth was pretty sure his name was Anik. Or Ahniuk. Or something like that.

'Jedi Dustil Onasi has been a frequent visitor to these halls, in part for the continuing restoration of the new academy on Telos-'

'-But the Council's pretty sure you're here much for the same reason your son often is,' Jolee added with a wry smile. 'The kid's always badgering us to death with questions after his master, Jedi Revan.'

The Twi'lek frowned severely at him.

'Or, as she is known in other parts of the galaxy, Jedi Katrina Onasi.'

Carth tried not to squirm under his gaze and that of the rest of the Jedi Masters, feeling very much like the irresponsible teenager who had knocked up his girlfriend and was now facing the wrath of her parents.

'So you finally made an honest woman out of her, eh?' Jolee spoke up conversationally. 'Bout time. I was beginning to wonder how old you were going to let Celyn get-'

'The Council regrets to inform you, Admiral, that we have no information on the whereabouts or fate of Revan,' Ahniuk murmured with what sounded like honest regret.

'I'm not here to ask about what happened to her, Master Jedi. I'm going to find out for myself.'

It was unsettling when the Council didn't explode into murmuring and discussion like he expected them to. Instead there was complete silence as they all stared back at him.

'Indeed,' the Twi'lek finally said. His headtails, which were draped behind him, rose up with his brow as he furrowed it in Carth's direction.

'I'm taking a team of Jedi with me, including my son,' Carth added quickly. 'We're investigating the threat for the Republic as well as working on finding out what happened to her.'

'Admiral, perhaps you do not realize the severity of the situation,' the female Zabrak who had greeted him began. 'You are headed into uncharted and unknown territory. Your Republic will not exist in the space you are planning on entering. This is unlike any kind of threat that has been battled before-'

'The Sith in the Unknown Regions are believed to be the closest living descendents of true Sith, and their power in the dark side is beyond our comprehension-' one of the human members of the Council continued- another middle aged man whose receding red hairline had seen better days.

'Dustil's fought their methods,' Carth interrupted. 'So have the rest of the Jedi who are going with me-'

'Be sure you know what you're getting yourself into, kid,' Jolee murmured. 'These aren't your garden variety assassins or men in white armor.'

'Jedi Dustil is headstrong and reckless,' Ahniuk said firmly. 'Much like his former master, and now, it appears, his father.'

Carth frowned, trying to ignore the fatherly instinct to give the Twi'lek a good shove over saying something derogatory about Dustil.

'This isn't up for debate, Master Jedi. I'm going with or without your approval.'

He took another deep breath.

'I'm here to ask a favor from the Council.'

He waited for some kind of reaction beyond the way that the members of the Council shifted their weight in their seats and rested their hands on their armrests or heads. When he saw that nothing more was coming, he went on.

'Revan-' Is it going to hurt now whenever I say her name too?

'Revan and I have a daughter, Celyn. She's five years old. With both me and Dustil going on this mission, there's no one to look after her.'

He paused for a minute, wondering if even from where she was out in the hall Celyn could sense what he was saying, know that he was going to leave her.

'I'm here to ask if she can be left in the care of the Jedi.'

'Admiral Onasi, the Jedi Order is not a babysitting service,' Ahniuk snapped severely.

Carth was too irritated now to mind their stares, and he continued without any hesitation.

'I understand that, Master Jedi. I was pretty sure that they don't turn away people seeking shelter and help either.'

There was a flurry of noises this time, from the sound of Ahniuk's headtail sliding over the fabric of his robes to the slight tinkling of the female Zabrak's purple jewelry; the tapping of the middle aged human's boots against the floor, and finally the way Jolee quietly cleared his throat.

'Young Celyn is welcome, Admiral,' the Zabrak Jedi Master finally replied.

'She can stay with the rest of the youngest apprentices,' Jolee added. 'Should fit right in. I could sense the Force coming off that kid a kilometer away.'

'Is she to be included in the training?'

Carth's head shot up.

'What?' Ahniuk sighed impatiently.

'Your daughter is strong in the Force. That is apparent even through these stone walls. Do you wish her to begin Jedi training?'

Jedi training? She's fracking five years old...

'Admiral?'

Carth rubbed his neck nervously. He shot a desperate glance to Jolee, who shrugged his shoulders helplessly.

Where's Dustil when you need him... I don't know anything about this stuff. Did she want Celyn to be a Jedi? I sure as hell don't-

'Um...no. No, don't train her yet. Just...watch her.'

The members of the Council nodded towards him, and Carth turned to make a hasty retreat from the chambers.

Dustil was waiting for him near the door.

'Geeze, you were just running the gamut in there, weren't you? Nervousness, anger, irritation, impatience,' his son said, counting off on his fingers. 'You're on a quick trip to the dark side there, Father-'

'Isn't there anywhere else we can leave her, Dustil?' Carth murmured, glancing over Dustil's shoulder to where Celyn sat on the bench, kicking the base with her heels and watching them cautiously.

'Nope. This is the best we have.'

'Wouldn't it be better to leave her with someone she knows? What about Tova?'

Dustil shook his head.

'You don't want to do that, Father. It would be a...bad idea.'

'Why?'

'Celyn'll slip and call her Revan.'

He raised an eyebrow, trying to catch Dustil's gaze even as his son fidgeted and looked away.

'I thought you two worked all that out.'

'Well, yeah. Kind of.'

Carth didn't need to be Force sensitive to know that that was a load of bantha crap.

'Look, Tova's not going to ask about it anymore,' Dustil finally said in a low voice. 'But if that information just falls into her lap, there's no way she's not going to make it public.'

Carth nodded, sighing heavily.

'The Chaser's stocked and everything?'

'As ready as she'll ever be. Aptly named, too.'

'Good. We'll leave in the morning. We're already behind as it is.'

'I'm going to go take care of some things, then.'

'I still don't think you should come, Dustil.'

You've got a fiancée, an academy under construction, you're a man now-

You're my son and I don't want to watch you use that lightsaber to keep yourself from dying-

'I'm still going to, Father.'

He watched Dustil head over to where Celyn was still sitting. Their lips didn't move and Celyn seemed to frown at him, but still nodded. Dustil hugged her and then headed back out towards the exit of the Jedi Temple.

Carth rejoined his daughter, reaching out for her hand.

'What'd he say?'

Celyn's little face was scrunched up in concentration, and she finally sighed in frustration.

'He said don't be mad at you, but I don't know why, because I'm not mad at you.'

You're not mad at me yet, Jawa, he thought sadly.

The red, golds, and brilliant pinks that usually made up the Coruscanti sunset were now covered by thick gray stormclouds that got darker with each passing minute. Low rumbling echoed through the halls of the Jedi Temple. It would be a rainy night.

She left in the morning. With what would have been the sunrise if we weren't on the Citadel where there isn't any sun.

The halls of the Jedi weren't terribly bustling, but still Carth led his daughter down a few halls until he finally found an empty room.

'Jawa,' he murmured, sitting down at the edge of another fountain- did this place ever run out of them?- 'I have to talk to you about something.'

He'd followed her silently through the various modules; on the shuttle to the docks, at her heels right up until here, as she tossed the last crate of cargo onto her ship.

It was a small freighter, nowhere as sleek as the Ebon Hawk or streamlined as the Jedi Chaser, but he had made damn sure when he had helped her find it and prepare it that it was one of the fastest things this side of the Outer Rim, and had almost as many defenses as the Sojourn.

Katrina turned, wiping her hands against her nondescript civilian clothing, brushing her dark brown braid of hair over her shoulder.

She smiled softly at him.

'You didn't come to see me off just to give me the silent treatment now that you're here, did you?'

Celyn was distracted for a minute by the room and its many plants and hanging pictures, but at the tone of his voice she looked up at him.

'It's pretty here,' she tried to offer helpfully.

In the process of getting permission and help and securing all the necessary goods and services for this trip, Carth had somehow thought that this moment would have been a lot farther away. But here it was, staring him in the face with his own brown eyes and her slightly curly brown hair.

She'd already said goodbye to Celyn the night before as they sat in their apartment, the little girl fast asleep in her arms after bawling louder than an upset herd of kinrath. (He'd never been more grateful for Jedi calming techniques).

'My poor sleepy girl,' She murmured, gently working her fingers through the ever-present tangles in their daughter's hair. Celyn only snored.

He felt inexplicably angry at her. Because in the morning, when Celyn woke up and she was gone, she wouldn't be here for the tears and the screaming and the nightmares that he would have to deal with, half of which he had no way of comforting because they came through the Force.

I'm sorry, Morgana, he thought again, hating himself for the thousandth time. He'd left Dustil pretty much the same way.

I had a war to fight. She's creating this war for herself, he protested stubbornly.

Poor sleepy girl, indeed. The day the kid had been told her entire short life would happen someday, the day she dreaded, was going to come tomorrow.

'Next time I'll show you everything on this planet, Celyn. We can go see all those buildings you asked me about, and I'll tell you all about how this place got so big.'

He was stalling, and both he and his little girl knew it.

'Why aren't we seeing them now? Why are we here?' she asked.

Carth brushed her hair back behind her ears roughly.

'Because you have to stay here for a while, Jawa.'

Carth grasped one of her wrists and she fell neatly into his arms. He held her as her head rested on his shoulder. She started to pull away and he found his hands involuntarily gripping her hips, holding her in place.

'I have to go now,' She said flatly.

'You don't have to go. You don't have to do anything,' He found himself saying, even though he had resolved not to torture her anymore, to let her do this thing she felt she needed to do, to let her find her own closure and accept that he could not protect her from everything.

'Not now,' Katrina said, shaking her head. 'Please, not now, Carth, it's too late-'

'I love you. And I'll love you even if you don't go fix something you did as a Sith. And so will Celyn, and Dustil- well, he'll respect the hell out of you regardless. Maybe he understands this better than I do because he was...maybe there are things he thinks he has to make up for too. But not like this, Revan. Even if it's for the things you helped to do to Telos and Morgana and Dustil and me-'

He saw the dark red blush of shame that had risen in her cheeks. She hung her head.

'Stop that,' Carth's voice shook and he tried in vain to get it back to its normal level. 'It's in the past, Revan. Going out there by yourself isn't going to change it and there's nothing I can do to change it either.'

Celyn's face betrayed the first signs of panic but she recovered quickly. Not without moving closer to him, however.

'Why? Are we all staying here?'

'No, just you. I have to go.'

He watched as her lower lip began to tremble, small whimpers coming out of her open mouth.

'Why does everybody have to leave?' She suddenly wailed, and her voice echoed off the walls of the room they were in as she folded her arms in front of her and glared at him.

'This-this is dumb,' She stammered. 'You're being stupid and sad...just like M-mommy...'

He knew that tone, and it came right before the shrieking and the angry little fists.

'Celyn,' He said sharply. 'She loves you. And I love you-'

'Then why are you all leaving?' his daughter yelled again at the top of her lungs, her face beet red.

'Celyn Onasi.'

He didn't know why he had expected that to work, especially when he had meant only to sound a little bit harsher but ended up barking it like she was a new recruit.

Celyn burst into tears.

Carth opened his arms for her but his daughter didn't move from where she was standing rigid and stubborn a few centimeters away.

'Jawa, I wouldn't leave you unless I had a very good reason,' He tried again softly. 'I'm going to go find Mommy.'

'Carth-' She tried to say, breaking off and putting a hand up to her mouth to cover a sob.

'It used to be this easy, Carth,' She said, gazing up at him. 'It used to be that all I needed was you to make everything go away. But it-'

Katrina's breath caught in her throat, and she gripped his sleeves.

But it didn't work anymore. He couldn't grasp why it no longer worked; why his arms around her didn't make her forget everything and smile again. It still did for him.

Celyn drew in a sharp breath, tears still rolling down the sides of her face.

'I want to help find Mommy.'

She didn't sound entirely enthusiastic as she said it, probably because she knew what his answer would be.

'No, Celyn. It's very dangerous. It's a job for grown-ups and Jedi.'

'I have the Force too,' she added. 'Dustil said so-'

Damn it, Dustil...

'Yes, that's right, you do have the Force. But it's not going to do any good now. You can go on trips like this later, when you're older-'

Over my dead body, he thought to himself.

Celyn watched him for another moment quietly.

'Is...is Dustil going to stay here with me?'

'No. Dustil's coming to help me.'

For a moment he was ready with the rest of his planned argument; use Celyn as bait, remind her of every good deed she had done since Taris- hell, drug her and carry her off if he had to.

But instead Carth forced himself to loosen his grip on her waist, and he felt her breathe evenly. The marks of his tightly clenched fingers were still barely visible in the folds of her clothing.

'You'd better go then, gorgeous. Before I start getting ideas about hog-tying you and dragging you back into the station.'

She smirked, carefully wiping her face, taking a few deep breaths.

'Tell Celyn I love her.'

'You can tell her yourself. When you come back.' Katrina looked up at him.

Celyn threw her arms around his neck, sobbing into his chest, and he could feel a wet spot spreading over his shoulder where her face was buried, her little hands gripping and twisting the fabric of his shirt.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, Jawa.

'Celyn...Celyn, sweetheart, listen to me.' She glanced up at him, her eyes wide and her hair frizzy from all her shaking.

'I'm going to come back, Jawa. I promise you I'm coming back. All right?'

She sniffled loudly, and he reached to smooth back her hair and wipe the tears from where they were dripping down her chin.

Like Dustil's chin. Did he ever cry?

'Promise?' She mumbled hopefully.

'Jawa, I not only promise I'm coming back, but I promise to bring Mommy back with me.'

She still hadn't promised him. He doubted in these last few moments that that was going to change. It didn't stop Carth from trying anyways.

Katrina kissed his cheek and began to pull away. He grasped her hand.

'I love you, Carth,' she said.

'I love you, beautiful.'

Katrina nodded resolutely.

Her hand slipped from his, and he put them into his pockets, watching her as she boarded the ship; watching her as she entered the cockpit, sat in the pilot's seat. Watching her as she powered up her freighter, began backing it out of the dock.

A little shallow in her movements, he noticed idly. She never was the greatest pilot.

He watched her until the ship was well into space; until it could no longer be distinguished from the rest of the stars and small moving spacecraft in the sky.

And then Carth Onasi let out a gruff sigh.

His daughter bit her lower lip almost shyly, her eyes still wide but this time from excitement rather than terror.

You're a soldier. You have no idea if you're coming back or not. You shouldn't make promises you can't keep, she'll hate you forever if you can't live up to it-

The possibility of failure had never occurred to him. He'd hate himself forever if he couldn't do exactly what he had promised to do.

Carth chose to ignore that and instead kissed the top of his daughter's head.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He leaned over her, watching the shadow of the rain outside patter across her skin, the cool air from the ventilation system softly moving her blonde curls.

'Wake up, Miss Vin,' he murmured against her cheek.

'Mmm. I think I like where I am just fine,' his fiancée whispered dreamily, turning her head slightly to face him.

Her long eyelashes fluttered open and he was reminded for the umpteenth time how much he loved her.

Dustil considered scrapping the whole thing, letting his father go alone like he had wanted-

'You're shaking,' Tova murmured, grasping his hand from where it was buried in her hair.

'I have to go, Tova,' Dustil began slowly, carefully running his finger across her smooth cheek. His own skin felt like beat leather compared to hers.

Her eyes grew more alert, though the lids didn't completely rise.

'Go? Now? We just...I mean, you just tricked me into marrying you, Jedi. And now you're going to leave?'

Dustil smirked, his other hand resting on her waist.

'I have to go help her.'

That calculating investigator look was in her eyes again.

'Help who?'

'Katrina,' He murmured, though it still came out awkwardly. 'Revan' was oddly so much easier than 'Katrina Onasi'. 'My master. Her messages stopped coming. Whatever's out there, she's found it. My father's going after her. I can't let him go alone, not when there's no telling what we might be up against.'

There's telling. There's Revan slicing you up the middle, Mother...and Father, Tova dying. There's the lies of the dark side just waiting for you and Father.

Tova sighed sadly, gripping his shoulders like she wanted to hold him in that spot forever.

'Dustil-' She began, breaking off.

He leaned into the shadows dancing across her face and kissed her.

'Come back. Please come back,' she said, in a tone you would never hear Tova Vin use on the air or in public.

'You think I went through all the trouble of getting you to marry me just to run off and never go through with it?' Dustil replied, smiling.

'This is what it'll be like, isn't it?' Tova murmured, and he could feel her fingers grasping his clothing, running down his spine. 'When we're married, I mean.'

He nodded.

'You're not thinking of saying 'no' again, are you? I don't think my poor Telosian heart can take that.'

But even he had to admit that both times she had said 'no' had been for good reasons. The first had been somewhat mutual:

'You're not doing a story on her. End of story.'

'Why are you getting so upset about this?' Tova snapped, exasperated. 'It would be tasteful. I bet she would agree to it. It won't hurt anyone. It'll help your father's reputation to dispel all the rumors about her.'

Not when you get to the climax of your questioning and ask 'are you Revan', Dustil thought, frowning. Not when she answers you, and you run the interview and hundreds of worlds start extraditing her for war crimes and Celyn loses her mom like I lost mine and Father gets a dishonorable discharge from the fleet for harboring an enemy of the state.

'I'm not going to say it again, Tova. Get the idea out of your head right now.'

'Or else what? I don't think I like being ordered around for the rest of my life.'

'Then maybe you should think about who this is going to affect. You know, besides you and your ratings.'

Tova yanked furiously on her left hand, pulling the ring off and hurling it towards him. He barely caught it, juggling it a few times before getting a grip.

'How am I supposed to know how it's going to affect anyone when you don't tell me the truth, Dustil? Not about the past, not about your family... not even about yourself.'

Tova rolled her eyes at him.

'How could I when you're defying the entire Jedi Order for me? That'd be pretty ungrateful, even if there aren't that many of them left.'

The second reason had been justified too, even though there was no way of getting around it:

She was crying, just like she had been in his torture session on Chael. Dustil squeezed her hand, wishing he could sit up in his infirmary bed and hold her or give her something more comforting than just his cold grip.

'I'll be all right, Tova,' he wheezed, grimacing under the hands of the medical droid next to him.

'I thought you were dead,' she murmured, trying to wipe away her tears.

He'd been on a solo mission again, caught in the fiery destruction of a renegade pair of assassin droids. A rumor had leaked out about his demise, making headline news on Coruscant. Luckily he had been found and taken to a medical facility before the rumor had reached Telos.

'I'm not. I'll be okay in a day or so.'

He saw her eyes going over his battered chest, bruised from all his broken ribs and marked with scars from lightning or lightsabers or both.

'Dustil...' Tova breathed for a few minutes, composing herself and turning to him again.

'Your life is always going to be like this. The life of a Jedi.' He nodded.

'I don't want that life, Dustil,' She added softly. 'I don't want to grow grey hairs worrying about you every day. I don't want to share this with you.'

Her hand slipped from his, and in its place was her ring.

'Good, because I have no intention of dying out there and you'd better be the first thing I see when I get back.'

She smirked, her eyelids wavering tiredly.

'Maybe you've forgotten the title of a certain regular HoloNet news segment, This Just In with Tova Vin. I'll be the first on the scene.'

'I said you, not you and your entourage,' Dustil muttered, settling into the pillow next to her.

'Mmm,' Tova closed her eyes, almost back to sleep. 'Entourage comes with me...we're kind of a package deal, Master Jedi. Just like you.'

Except my package comes with both the dark side and the Jedi Order, a high ranking Admiral of the Fleet, and a former Sith Lord.

---

She clung to the last of the Padawans as they exited the quickly darkening room.

It was not the darkness that made her wrap herself up in the teen's glowing Force aura like a warm blanket, nor was it the fact that, technically, she had never seen a blanket or anything that didn't resemble the cloak of dark blue that was fast descending on Coruscant's skyline.

The Padawan was unaware of her reaching inside him, lingering in his heart and mind for one guilty moment before furtively returning to her own and allowing him to disappear down the halls of the Jedi Temple.

Visas Marr sat in silence on the floor of the meditation chamber, listening to the sounds of her own breathing echoing off the slick floors and the fabric of her veil rustling under the slight breeze.

At first, the Jedi Temple had overwhelmed her- literally.

She had fainted upon the Ebon Hawk's arrival nearly four years ago. The presence of billions of lifeforms and sentients going about their daily lives on the enormous planet alone was enough to give any Force-user an overload. To a Miraluka who breathed and lived and spoke and-

'To see everything around you extinguished; it was as if I was...blinded. It was as if the Force had been bled from the world.'

And saw through the Force...walking into the Jedi Temple for the first time, full of the most powerful and hardy of Force-users throughout the galaxy (they had to be; they had survived the purges, hadn't they?) was akin to the sudden shrieking of mynocks in her ears.

So loud...so bright, after so many years in the silence and the shadows.

The Miraluka gently rose from the floor, putting a hand to her mouth to cover a yawn.

The Jedi, she had found, were true to their reputations. She had been welcomed into the Order; indeed, embraced because of the lessons the Masters felt she could teach.

And teach them I have. Once every week to the older apprentices and younger Padawans.

A day would come when she would use the short yellow lightsabers that hung from her sides again, but for now she was content to stay here.

The Exile- Sarii, as she insisted on being called- had asked if she wanted to accompany them on their latest mission into those places she had thought of as being only nightmares, the places she had thought Nihilus had invented to frighten her, to make her turn.

Not that it had taken much.

She snuggled against the bodies- how can the dead be so warm? --and wished desperately for a weapon.

She had searched for hours among the corpses; but none of the bodies around her- friends, relatives, neighbors- had even a common blaster among them. Besides, Katarr- dead, dead now like everything else --was a peaceful planet.

Visas grasped the hair of the still woman in front of her, wiping her bloodied hands in it, hoping that something else would strike the planet first, another attack. She imagined starvation would be slow, and painful-

More painful than this?

Silently the Miraluka had resigned herself to death, a death of any kind preferable to this. To nothing but crude matter, flesh, rock, emptiness now.

To Katarr.

Visas had no desire to enter those places, the Unknown Regions; to confront things more terrible than her former master, to see the faces of those who had helped destroy her world.

The new Sith threat was the talk of the Temple now. The masters would discuss amongst themselves, lowering their voices or pausing whenever the younger ones would pass by. The Jedi Council made no official announcement or statement, ignoring both the rumors that ran through the Order and the ones looking to be verified by the HoloNet reporters that stood watch by the doors of the Temple every day.

Visas continued down the halls and up the grand staircases, towards the dormitories and private rooms, towards her bed.

For as much good as it did them to try and hide it. The mission that the Exile had been sent on was known to everyone. To find Revan, to discover what terrible fate might be waiting to crush the Jedi next. She heard the Padawans discussing it before and after their meditations, some of the cockier ones making jokes about taking bets on its success.

The Miraluka entered her own room, standing in the doorway for a moment or so.

Sight through the Force, if it could be called sight, was more feelings and colors, shapes and sounds. There was no radiation from the sparse surroundings of the Jedi dormitories; the pale white walls or the beds, the occasional rug or computer console. She only knew the identities of these objects through years of life experience.

Anything living, however, shone to her brighter than the stars that now veiled the Coruscanti sky.

'Is someone here?' Visas called, although she knew someone definitely was.

It was a small bundle of energy, huddled tightly under the workbench.

'I'm sorry,' She heard a voice sigh, resolute and high in pitch. The small being crawled out, gazing up at her.

'A child,' Visas realized. Such a glow; bright ivory and overpowering in its intensity, was only evident around the very youngest of the Padawans: blank white slates that had yet to be colored blue or red by the Force.

'Why do you hide in here?' She murmured, watching the glowing figure stand up cautiously.

'They're mad at me.'

The child, a little girl, pulsed with indignancy and wounded pride.

'Who?'

'The other kids.'

This one wasn't like the other little ones Visas could sense- running through the halls, laughing, indulged by the masters because they would be the future of the rebuilding Order.

The Force was strong with the child, but it flowed freely. Unchecked, unbalanced, and probably unrealized.

'Why are the other children upset with you?' Visas murmured.

The child's image of herself began to reach the Miraluka; slightly curly brown hair and brown eyes.

'They said they wanted their practice remotes to be harder. So I fixed them, but now they're too hard, and they're all mad at me.'

It all came out in one harried breath, and the child's aura dimmed a little, offset by sadness.

'I don't like it here,' she added. 'I want to go home. I want Mommy to come back.'

The child's thoughts of her mother pulsated with greediness, as though she was hoarding them and did not want to share despite the fact that Visas knew she could not have consciously been blocking her.

'What happened to your mother?'

'She went to stop Sith. Father and Dustil went to find her.'

The images of Dustil and Father were not guarded, however, and Visas could clearly see two men, one older and one a younger version of the other. The younger was clad in Jedi robes and familiar to Visas for more than one reason.

'Do you mean Dustil Onasi? Revan's Padawan?'

'What's a Padawan?' the little girl asked, sounding out the word.

'A Padawan is a student of the Force. They usually have a master, a teacher.'

The child nodded.

'Mommy says she's not Dustil's mother, even though he's my brother. Just his teacher.'

'You're Admiral Onasi's daughter,' Visas realized. The child perked up at the mention of her father.

'Do you know Father?'

'No. Only that he left you in the care of the Jedi while he tries to find Revan.'

Revan's name meant little to her in the sense that it did the rest of the galaxy. A woman with a fleet and a technological factory who tried and failed to take over the Republic? It could not compare with what Visas knew the Sith were capable of, the things she had seen her former master do.

The child frowned, narrowing her eyes at Visas and folding her arms, clearly imitating someone's position she had seen before.

'No one's supposed to know that's Mommy's name.'

The little girl was making such an effort to look threatening that Visas couldn't help laughing softly.

'There is nothing to fear from me, Celyn. I am a Jedi.'

The child's name, Celyn Onasi, was easy to sense. And also the word 'Jawa' floating around with it. Visas wondered if it was merely part of the disorganized mind of a child.

'Come. We should return you to where you belong-'

'No,' Celyn said sharply. 'I don't want to go back.'

'Certainly the other children haven't been cruel to you. Such pettiness is not encouraged among the Jedi.'

Celyn wrinkled up her nose for a moment, and Visas could sense her tight anger at not understanding half of what the Miraluka had said.

'They keep trying to...' The little girl trailed off, frustrated.

'To what?'

'To see what I think. They want to see Mommy, and Father, and Dustil, and sometimes I can stop them, but now I can't. And I can't do the same thing to them.'

Force connection and mind-reading techniques, Visas thought. The child was not in training; and whatever her connection to the Force, it had never been developed enough to allow her to shut others out. She was capable...Visas's attempt to see Revan in her mind had been proof.

'Would you like to learn how?' Celyn nodded enthusiastically.

And then, perhaps, I can get some sleep, Visas thought, kneeling on the floor. The child followed her movements, watching her closely.

'Think of your mother,' she murmured. Celyn scrunched her eyes shut, and the strength of them was suddenly overwhelming; pulsating with the little girl's love, longing, and slight resentment.

Visas almost winced, but she centered herself and tentatively reached for a more concrete thought.

The little girl instantly recoiled, but her efforts were wild and uncontrolled. Visas caught many different images of Revan; mostly laughing and smiling, occasionally with the Admiral or her Padawan.

They were both handsome men, and Visas finally understood why a couple of the female Padawans not been entirely open during meditations after their departure.

She shook her head.

'It didn't work, did it?'

'No,' Celyn replied moodily, sitting back on her heels and sighing.

'Instead of trying to shield the thoughts of your mother from me, you only used all of your strength to keep my consciousness-'

'You're hard to listen to,' the little girl interrupted sharply. 'You use too many big words.'

Visas frowned.

'Perhaps you should be patient instead of assuming you will not be able to understand.'

'Maybe you should stop saying words I don't know,' Celyn shot back.

She considered sending the child away to sulk. It had indeed been a long day, and Visas was tired.

But the little girl's feelings of loneliness and solitude were so strong and acute that she didn't think she would be able to block them from her sight now if she tried. They were too powerful.

And all too familiar.

Visas heard the crunching of the dead leaves before she even sensed him coming towards her. Why should she have felt him? Everything around her was dead; he was barely alive.

But lying there among the bodies, only able to feel herself-

I am the only survivor of the decimation of Katarr. It sounds like a news brief from Coruscant, a line out of the history records, she thought.

Visas pushed herself up, straining to feel his presence even as she could hear in the distance the sound of a ship's engines slowly burning down, the heavy thump on the dry earth of his feet-

And she had been sure that he was a man. That had been apparent from the first moment he had stepped onto Katarr.

She grasped desperately for him, and she felt herself roughly shoved away-

No, not so much shoved. More frozen where she had tried to connect with something alive; however minute, however dark and cold and icy like the bodies and the earth around her.

Visas shivered, although there was now no breeze on her world, nothing but her and the man now raking over her with his mind. She made no attempt to shut him out.

Everything else had been severed. She and her agony were all that flickered, and now she struggled for oxygen like the dying flame she was, eager for whatever he could give her.

'When you tried to keep me from seeing your mother,' Visas began again slowly. 'You pushed me away, correct?'

'Cor-rect,' Celyn enunciated in reply.

'Pushing me away won't work, because I can still see you mother. She is still in your mind even as you try to keep me from getting in. To keep others from seeing her, you need to make her disappear rather than trying to overpower me.'

'So I need to not think about Mommy.'

'Cor-rect,' Visas echoed. Celyn nodded, closing her eyes to try again.

The images were back, more timid than before, but no less clear to Visas. She saw Revan, a woman with brown hair and hazel eyes, kissing the little girl's forehead.

Visas attempted to reach further. This time, the images of Revan grew less and less intense, until all the Miraluka could find was a vague feeling of happiness when she searched for the child's feelings.

Celyn exhaled loudly, smiling.

'I did it.'

'You did,' Visas agreed.

'Can I try one more time?' She closed her eyes without waiting for Visas's response.

The child bore a striking similarity to her mother, except for the eyes and a slight difference in the shape of her chin. Visas idly studied the memories of the little girl before focusing and preparing to grasp for more again.

Something was suddenly shifted, as though a lens were out of alignment and the colors before Visas's eyes were blending and bleeding together.

She could still feel longing and isolation, but their colors were dark and muted, stifled and murky. The pictures slowly came to her and she saw Revan again.

This time, however, neither the child nor any other members of her family were with her. And Revan wore a mask-

The force with which the child closed off her mind was almost physically jarring- almost as much as the sound of the girl's startled whimper.

Visas opened her mouth to breathe, reaching towards the little girl who was now glowing brightly again, her aura quivering with fear.

'That...that was Mommy...' Celyn began slowly, obviously trying to muster up her courage. 'But she was different...'

Visas was tempted to force her way into the child's mind, find the connection and see it for what it was.

'This was not one of your memories of your mother?' Celyn shook her head.

'I felt like Mommy was talking to me in my head. She does that sometimes,' she offered.

If not memories, then...no. Surely the child could not pick up a feeling across so many parsecs and sectors, Visas thought, furrowing her brow.

If it was not a memory, however, it was a vision. Or a communication from Revan herself. The Council would certainly be interested if either were the case.

'Clearing your mind and erasing things from your mind can also be useful in trying to concentrate on a single thought,' Visas murmured. 'We saw only a little of your mother as being...different. We should look more and see what it might mean.'

'It means something?' Celyn said.

'It could. It may be that your mother is trying to talk to you. Or it may be that you are seeing what she is doing, wherever she is-'

'Show me,' the girl demanded, her fear replaced with determination.

'Think of your mother,' Visas repeated.

The child closed her eyes again, bringing up only the same happy memories.

'Think only of the one where she was different.'

Vague flashes of the darker image of Revan spotted over the larger memories, but they kept slipping from Visas's sight, as though the little girl was too weak to hold onto them.

'Make every other memory disappear,' the Miraluka instructed. 'Think only of the different one, nothing else.'

The images shifted and the dark blur began to take the others over. It was unclear and Visas could only see shapes, only hear a low murmur.

She reached into the girl's mind. She could feel the child flinch and react involuntarily to the lesson they had just had, trying to shut her out. Visas ignored it and clenched firmly on the vision, helping Celyn to hold onto it and make it clearer.

It was dark until she lazily lifted her hand from where it rested under the pillow, turning the lighting controls up with a waggle of her finger.

Katrina breathed slowly against the bed for a few moments.

'HK?' She finally called out, yawning.

The droid awoke from his sleeping state, beginning a flurry of mechanical creaking where he stood in the corner of the room.

'Statement: Ready to serve, Master.'

'Play it.'

There was a moment of hesitation as she waited for the droid to finish powering up; as she waited for feeling to come back into her muscles after a long night of deep sleep.

'Query: Play what, Master?'

Katrina rolled her eyes, sitting up in bed, stretching her arms behind her head.

'You know what I mean, HK.'

She tossed the blankets back over the pillows haphazardly, crossing to the storage drawers and pulling out her clothing.

'Notification,' HK began exasperatedly. 'Master, are you aware that the recorded auditory sample you are requesting was played a standard eight hours ago?'

'Right before I went to sleep, yes, HK.'

The droid sighed heavily.

'And are you further aware, Master, of the approximate number of times this sample has been replayed?' She ignored him, reaching behind her to braid her hair, her fingers so used to it by now that they almost continued the motions after she had run out of hair around her shoulderblades.

'Supplementation: Approximately three hundred and seventy three times, Master. Surely by now you have grasped all the possible nuances and subtleties of these seventy-five-point-seven seconds of dialogue-'

'HK, shut up and play it again. That's an order, not a request.'

The droid straightened up, more responsive to her irritation than her persuasion.

'Compliance: Yes, Master.'

Katrina lifted her shirt over her head, the cold air of the ship making goosebumps rise up on her stomach.

'Hey gorgeous,' His voice crackled through HK's vocabulator, lined with static but no less adept at making her skin tingle.

Katrina reached for the dark grey robes, tying them around her waist with her belt. They were long and thick, covering her arms and legs and most of her neck.

'Sweet dreams. I love you.'

It was intended to be a nighttime message, but that didn't stop her from playing it in the morning, the afternoon, sometimes three times in a row.

Katrina slipped on the dark black leather boots, buckling them up to her knee, letting her robes brush over them an inch of so above the toes. She reached for the shells of armor lying in the corner- a breastplate and armbands.

There was a moment of silence on the recording in which she heard Carth laugh softly.

'Come on, Jawa. Real ones don't talk that well but I know you can.'

Katrina smiled to herself, feeling the armor click together around her upper torso. She grasped the ocular drops, leaning back and touching them to her eyes.

'I miss you, Mommy,' Her daughter's sullen, reluctant voice finally came, sounding tinny when translated through a droid. 'Father misses you too-'

She slowly lifted her head, inspecting her appearance in the mirror. Her eyes were an ugly shade of mustard yellow, the pupils a dark maroon like blistering red sores surrounded by pus.

'None of that, Celyn,' Carth's voice murmured sharply. 'You're going to make her sad.'

'Maybe if she's sad she'll come back,' Celyn replied unabashedly. She heard Carth sigh in the background, and she fingered the ring on her left hand before slipping on her gloves. They crunched and rumpled as she cracked her knuckles.

'No, Mommy left because she was sad. We need to try and make her happy, Jawa. It's probably very scary where she is.'

Katrina inhaled slowly, reaching for the nearby needle. She held it up to her neck for a moment before injecting it.

'I love you, Mommy. Don't be sad or scared.'

A shudder wracked her body and she carefully put the needle down, gripping the edges of the table. Her body temperature dropped drastically, but the amount of robes and armor she wore compensated. Finally Katrina pushed herself up, looking in the mirror once again.

'Good girl,' She could barely hear Carth murmur, the sounds of Celyn leaving the room. His breathing was calm and even for a few seconds, as though there were hundreds of things he wanted to say and he was trying to decide which were the most important.

Her skin was now a scaly white, vague tints of grey where there had once been a healthy red glow. Her veins stood out a bright purple, thin and bent like the angles of a spider's web.

Katrina reached back for the hood of her robe, pulling it over her head.

Her hands shook slightly at the last part, as they did every morning when she reached the final stage of her transformation. She carefully grasped the black mask between her gloved fingers, holding it up to her face.

'Go to sleep, beautiful,' Carth finally murmured, apparently having decided that there was nothing more important than wishing her peaceful rest.

She jumped slightly when she heard the smooth click of the mask fitting into place.

'Safe journey.' The recording finally ended.