Not of His Choosing

I stared at the broken body at my feet, the gleam of metal belying the humanity within. There was humanity there, despite what everyone else thought, beyond the surface, beyond the image, beyond what the eyes could see. I thought about what had happened to bring things to this inevitable conclusion. Was it inevitable? I had options, I suppose, but did he? He wasn't made for this, he did not start out this way...he was set upon a path not of his choosing.

That's why he begged at the end, as we both wondered what might have been if things were different. I could have allowed him to try, but we both knew what set him on this path would keep him there, no matter what he intended. This was for the best. At least that was what I kept telling myself as the memory of my saber slicing through him played over and over in my mind.

Why should he die when the one who caused him to act this way, to do these unspeakable things, was allowed to live on? Guilt gnawed at me. It was a noble sacrifice, I decided. It was the only way I could stand myself for what I did...what I had to do. He even thanked me, in a way, when he knew the end was near. To look forward to the darkness, to nothingness....

I shuddered slightly, a small tear escaping the corner of my eye. Would the lesson he died to teach be lost? I would do all in my power to make sure the message of his passing was heard. His fall was tragic, but he wasn't alone. No one ever simply falls alone: there are always others lost along side the fallen, and sometimes it isn't really clear who went first. But did it matter, when the result was the same for all? His example would serve to help those left behind, I would make sure of it. To lift them away from this sad fate, and act as a cautionary tale for others who may find themselves slipping.

I didn't want to leave him there like that. He deserved better, but I knew that was my sentimental need to honor him and ease my own guilt. The Force didn't care, and neither did the others with me. There were more pressing matters, and time was fleeting. We had to get going. I thought for a moment to take something, as proof of his destruction, but the idea disgusted me. That I returned and he did not would be evidence enough of what was done. I took one last look before I turned and left.

'There you are, what happened?' Carth greeted me as I approached.

'It is done,' I said simply.

'Okay, good, let's go then, before it is too late,' he said as he began to walk away.

I nodded in agreement as I fell in step behind him. I sighed heavily. 'I am not looking forward to this,' I groaned. 'I really don't want to talk to her, especially with what I need to tell her. Say, Carth, could you do me a favor?'

Carth stopped in his tracks and looked back at me, panicked. 'If it's what I think...no. That's all on you.'

'Please! Carth, come back here!' I shouted at his retreating form as he sprinted away across the Dantooine plains. 'Come on! For me, please? Just tell Elise her droid is destroyed!'