KOTOR and I
In the Star forge
Revan- Damn you Bastila and your tight black jumpsuit!
Bastila- Oh my. It's getting hot in here.
Undoes those stupid braids revealing long brown hair. Approaches Revan with hips swaying wildly. Pimp music starts playing.
Revan- You know...it is my duty to try to convert you
Bastila- I know I've been bad.
Revan- Erm...force protect me
Narrator- Just then KOTOR fan club members are saved from an M rated relationship development. Anyway back to the real world our heroes have been captured by the bad guys. Revan, Bastila and that stuttering fool...Carth Onasi are in their force cages.
Saul- I've got you now fools
Revan- What are you going to do now punk?
Saul- I'm going to torture you
Revan-...Gasp.
Saul- press the x button repeatedly to regain health and resist torture...and remember...
Revan- Wait, what happens if we've got the PC ver...AAAARGH!
Saul- That's what happens to those who bought the inferior copy. Like I was saying, should the pain become too great press the select button and the pain will end. But then Bastilla would get it.
Carth- You know this reminds me of Metal Gea...
Saul- Shut up! You'll get us all sued! You want to turn this into a turn based card game do you?! Oh by the way, there are no continues my friend.
All- Oh no!
Narrator- Meanwhile
Canderous- All right you losers I'm here to own all of you. This is for all those hours playing Halo 2 pretending to be L337.
Trooper- That's a big gun. Compensating for something?
Canderous- Hell no.
Narrator- He kills everyone and rescues the gang
Revan- All right lets go get Malak.
Carth- I-I-I-I-I-I want-I want to-
Revan- Shut up!
Narrator- They go off
Malak- Is that you Revan? I'm here for my revenge.
Revan-Yes. Let's settle this. The old fashioned way
Malak- Yes...let's fight the way the Old Sith Lords used to fight...In turn based combat!
Narrator- 3 hours later
Revan- Hurry up Malak
Malak- Shut up I'm still deciding!
Bastila- I'll save you!
Carth- No!
Revan- We have to go back and save her! He's a level 60 Sith Lord dammit! He's wearing a +9 Wisdom 'Super camp spandex suit'! She's got no chance!
Carth- Dude we have to totally go.
Revan- Meh you're right. I've got other chicks to score on in the Ebon Hawk. I think I'll chat up Juhani.
Carth- Dude...Juhani's...
Revan- NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Narrator- Back in the Ebon Hawk
Carth- Bad news everyone. There's a plot twist.
Revan- What is it Carth? You're pregnant?
Carth- No. It's worse. HK-47 is cheating on his Aratech sniper rifle for...
Everyone- GASP!
Carth- A gamecube console.
Narrator- DUN DUN DUN.
Heh. A little Revolver Ocelot . . .
Despite that this doesn't make quite a lot of sense to me I really love:
ROFL, thats hilarious.
Absolutely bizaar...and hilarious.
Great job
Totally bizarre and yet it brings a chuckle to me. :lol:
To be posted 12 June 2009 on
To be posted 12 June 2009 on StarwarsKnights under The Critic returns and Lucasforums under the Critic’s Two Cents.
Because I find that a lot of the writing here is already what I would define as professional standard, I will tag those I liked as pick of the week. Check at StarwarsKnights for the best of the best.
KOTOR all over the place: Careful, we might get sued…
This one started interesting and leaping back and forth through what was happening and when was just the icing on the cake. All I’ve got to say is someone should shoot that narrator. The first scene was just getting interesting…
Pick of the Week
omg too funny need air! ^__^
"Revan- What is it Carth? You're pregnant?"
This line KILLED me ^_______^ lmao
Carth-pregnant?
heee!2 funny XD !!!!!!!
So ehuh, what was Juhani, exactly? A bi-genderual? Or...
Ah, the heck with it! It was funny!
Awesome. This was SO funny!
This is funny and rather strange. I am laughing because some of it is absurd :lol:
Oh! That is just too funny. Nice Metal Gear mentioning. Funniest thing I've read in a while.
Revan- Damn you Bastila and your tight black jumpsuit!
Bastila- Oh my. It's getting hot in here.
Undoes those stupid braids revealing long brown hair. Approaches Revan with hips swaying wildly. Pimp music starts playing.
Revan- You know...it is my duty to try to convert you
Bastila- I know I've been bad.
Revan- Erm...force protect me
AAaarrrrrggggghhhhh!!! Mental image!!! My brain!! NNnnnoooooooo!!!