Chapter 15: Inferno

I could tell when they came for us by the sudden onset of simultaneous, nearby power draws from many dark Jedi. They were nearly continuous as they fought to repel the attacking Jedi and soldiers. I tried to follow them, but the pulls were coming from everywhere. I was swamped in sensation, fought to distinguish anything in the mess, lying passive, Sensing.

I found one particularly strong, close pull and followed it to a formidable dark Jedi mind. I felt the intent in her mind to destroy. I stopped my passive listening, laid my mind over hers, tried to experience everything she did. It worked. I could see what she saw.... Mission. And Juhani. And Carth. She had them all held, Choking them, Draining them, using MY Force power to destroy them.

No. No. Something rose up within me. I would not let this happen. Not to my friends. Not to my lover. My will was adamant, determined to stop this destruction. But I couldn't afford to experience anger or hatred. They raged through me, straight to the dark Jedi, feeding her purpose. I couldn't use those emotions to fight her. I called upon others instead.

I felt the protectiveness I'd come to feel for Mission, my kid sister; the fondness for Jolee, surrogate grandfather. I recalled the warmth that came from helping others: Dia, the besieged Ithorian on Taris, Bastila and Helena. I drew upon my gratitude to Bastila and Veera for saving me. I remembered the joy from winning duels or swoop races, or from holding Bastila and Canderous' new son. I called up my love for Carth, towering above the other feelings. I brought these emotions together, forged them into something new, drew the red, angry Force into that new substance, and washed it clean and white-hot. I fed it through to the dark Jedi pure and clear from the heart of my light side, in place of the red rage she expected

She couldn't use the light Force, and she couldn't endure it. She struggled to cut off the flow. I held her, not in hatred, but in pity, trying to wash her clean as I would have cleansed Malak had I been able. I held us both there in that white-hot stream of Force, burning us to the core of our beings. I felt Bastila screaming through our bond, and knew that she was caught in this as well. The dark Jedi screamed, too, resisting. I urged her to give in and be healed, and surrendered myself to the inferno. It blazed white, dominating the universe, until I lost track of the Jedi, of Bastila, of myself, and hung blazing in the heart of a star.

More red snaked through the white; other dark Jedi trying to draw from me, from my companions in captivity. The determination to resist was still steel within me. I followed the red Force back to the captives, their minds now open to me in this new, elevated state of being. I touched them all, giving them hope and the means to resist, showing them how to turn the tables. Many responded, and we flooded to the calling minds, invading them, cleansing them.

Suddenly, rudely, I was back in my body. It wasn't a good feeling. I seemed to be lying curled up on a cold floor, naked. I couldn't move. I couldn't breathe. I could hear, though.

Jolee: 'That's the one, Mission, thanks. We've got her now. Or, I think we do.'

Bastila: 'She has a good pulse but no respiration.' Quick hands pulled my head back, jaw forward. My nose was pinched and lips sealed over mine, blowing breath into me. Bastila's lips. Damn.

Jolee: 'Bring a medsled with a respirator. Bastila, are you quite sure that's Fiala?'

Canderous: 'I need to stop Onasi. We can't let him see her like this. He'll go apeshit, lose it again.'

Juhani: 'Good thinking, Canderous. I will come with you. Jolee and Bastila can see to Fiala... if that is Fiala.'

Canderous: 'What are you people talking about? Can't you see it's her? Come on, Juhani, let's go intercept loverboy.'

Jolee: 'I'll start disconnecting all these devices until the sled gets here. You doing OK, Bastila? Stop if you need to switch. Mission, you there? Hold off on deactivating any more of these fields. We'll need a medsled for each one before you do. Thanks, kiddo. Is she trying to breathe on her own yet, Bastila? Damn. I don't like this. Do you think she's conscious? Oh. Fiala, I'm going to get these tubes out of you. It won't be pleasant. Then we'll get you on the sled and under some blankets. You must be freezing.'

A robe was placed over me. I was grateful for the warmth. The reverse of the hooking up process was accomplished considerably more gently than the original. Eventually, they lifted me onto a medsled, hooked up the respirator unit. It is odd being conscious and having something else breathe for you. My limbs seemed to be curled up. They straightened them and strapped me down under blankets, leaving one arm free for attaching medical gear.

Jolee: 'Her eyes are going to dry out like that.' Somebody squeezed goo into my eyes and taped the lids shut. It felt good.

Rapid footsteps. Carth: 'Where is she? Hey, what's wrong with her? I thought she'd be OK once we got her out of that thing.' Strong hands gently stroked my hair.

Bastila: 'She's conscious and seems to feel quite well, Carth, if our bond tells me correctly. She just can't move...anything.'

Jolee: 'Well, she's been in that damned box for weeks now, immobile. This paralysis could be from disuse. If it is, she could come back quite quickly now that she's here and conscious.'

Juhani: 'Are you certain she is alright? She looks very...different.'

Carth: 'What do you mean, different? She's thin and lifeless, but she looks like herself.'

Canderous: 'That's what I said. But you know how these Jedi are, gotta be mysterious.'

Bastila: 'She looks different to a Jedi, Carth.'

Carth: 'How?'

Jolee: 'Remember when you first picked me up back on Kashyyyk, and I told Fiala there was something a bit off about her? That she was sort of out of focus, and very dark? Well, she isn't, anymore.'

Carth: 'Isn't what? Dark, or out of focus?'

Bastila: 'Either. She's quite, um, light and very simple. It's hard to explain if you can't see it.'

Juhani: 'She appears...shining now. She looks very different from before. It is indeed hard to explain.'

Carth: 'It must be, because you're all doing a lousy job of it. Is she OK? Is she still herself?'

Silence. Hey, I'm in here! I'm still me! I tried to send it to Bastila, but it was harder now that I was back in my body.

Bastila: 'She seems to think she's OK. I guess we'll see when she can communicate again.'

Frustrated, I used the Force to pick up my own hand. There was dead silence. I waved the hand at them, then held it suspended by just the thumb to give them the classic go-ahead sign of a pilot.

Bastila: 'Really, Fiala! That's morbid. Talk about frivolous use of the Force. Stop it!'

Delicately, carefully, using all the Force skills I'd developed in long isolation, I changed my grip on the digits of the hand to the middle digit, and left the hand suspended in a universal obscene gesture.

My soldiers both laughed, as I knew they would. Jolee chuckled. Carth's laugh sounded strained, so I dropped the hand quickly. But at least they knew I was awake.

Canderous: 'No doubt about it, that's Revan. Better watch what you say, people.'

Jolee: 'Let's get her aboard ship to a better med facility. You folks stay here and help with the rest of these Jedi. We'll need the hands.'

Carth ignored Jolee's directions and stayed with me all the way back to the ship's med facility. He sat by the sled on the transport and when we were alone, he hugged me, head next to mine. He talked to me continuously, nearly babbling.

'I'm so sorry we left you behind. They tell me I was knocked out by a grenade. All I knew was that when I woke up on the Hawk, we were in space, and you weren't there. They told me you went off that damned bridge and I couldn't believe you were gone. I mean, I think I'd feel it if anything happened to you. It was that droid of yours that did it. HK-47 saw you go over the edge and calculated you couldn't survive the fall. You had made me his co-master, so his programming switched over to defending me, dragging me back on board. I couldn't believe the team dragged Jenkins back in, too, and just left you. You're more important than the rest of us put together. But they all thought you were dead. That chasm is deep. Nobody thought you could survive, except me. I tried to make them go back and get you, but they wouldn't. That whole power station was swarming with Sith, and nobody wanted to risk going back for a corpse.'

'They dragged me to that idiotic memorial service when I was out of my mind with grief and despair. Bastila was the only one who believed me that you might still be alive, because she hadn't felt any termination of your life force through your bond, but we didn't know where to look for you. I was asleep, sedated, on the night after the service when you Called me. It knocked the drugs clean out of my system, scared me half to death. I ran straight to Bastila, woke up their whole household. They thought I was crazy. Canderous nearly threw me out bodily. Mandalorians don't like being rudely awakened, let me tell you. I had to explain over and over what I'd heard, what I felt. Then Bastila tried her link with you again and thought you might be there. It took a long, long time for her to be able to reach you clearly. At least we were all together again as a team, ready to come get you when she got through.'

'Why did you Call to me if you thought I was a prisoner, you nitwit? What could I have done to help you? Why didn't you Call Bastila right away? I guess it didn't matter, but we might have gotten to you sooner if you had.'

He didn't need me to tell him why. He knew. I gave him the only answer I could. I reached out with my will and wrapped him in gentle arms of Force. He started, then relaxed, resting his head on my shoulder. 'It's kind of creepy when you do that, ya know? But thanks.' He was snoring in a few minutes, and slept all the way back to the ship.