Chapter 14: Suspension

If you want to understand, try this: Go planetside to some primitive rock, find an uncivilized lake, and, on an overcast night, swim to the middle and float. Then remove the sounds of the wind, the waves, the fauna, your breathing and heartbeat, the blood hissing through your veins, the ringing in your ears, and the little clicks your eyelids make when you blink. Take away any patches of light, moons shining through clouds, stars, fires. Subtract the warm wind in your hair, the cold water on your skin, all your itches and aches and pains, the fish nibbling your toes. Then float there in nothingness, forever. Peaceful, isn't it?

Then imagine fierce, red lava burning through your body and your soul. Scream soundlessly as it does.

I was floating for ? Without sensation, it's hard to grasp the passage of time. The feeling wasn't bad, considering I was in a Sith device. I'd expected far worse. Then they must have started testing, drawing the Force from me for their own ends. It was agony, tearing at my very being. Channeling the Force yourself is never painful, but to have it ripped from you for purposes antithetical to your very being is torture.

Antithetical? Maybe. Something dark within me reveled and danced in that blazing stream. I held on to myself, Fiala, as hard as I could, afraid I would crumble away as rocks crumble before a lava flow, afraid that Revan, delighting in the dark force, would be all that remained.

It stopped.

Repeat the above, endlessly.

In times of quiet, I could think, and despair. Why had I called to Carth? It had been foolish, useless. He was no Jedi, though I sometimes wondered if he were Force sensitive. But he couldn't have heard me Call. And he was captive as well, probably dead by now. I had plenty of time to regret, and to grieve.

There came a tickling in my mind during a rare time of peace. I opened to it. A wordless thought came to me and I answered in kind. In words, it would be rendered thus:

'Fiala. Fiala. Are you there? Fiala, answer.'

'Who calls?'

'Fiala!' A fierce stab of joy. 'It's Bastila!'

'Bastila! Sister! Save Carth! Deliver me!'

Then the red lava started and I could feel her screaming with me. But she hung on, grim and determined, sharing my damnation. Whatever I may say about Bastila, my sister and rival, she is one tough cookie. The flow ceased in a timeless time.

'Fiala! Where are you? What have they done to you?'

'I don't know where. But they have Carth, too, and they're going to torture him to death, soon. Please, help him!'

Puzzlement. 'Carth is right here. He's fine.' Certainty. 'It was a lie to torment you further, Fiala. Carth felt you Call him last week and enlisted my aid because of our bond. We don't know where you are - can you tell us? The whole crew is here and ready to come get you. But we can't find you.'

I'm certain Bastila caught my rush of joy and relief at the news of Carth's safety, but she kindly refrained from comment.

'I've no idea what planet I'm on. I am in a new kind of machine like the Force drainers on the Forge. They said it was a Sith planet.'

I felt despair through the bond. "Can you escape or discover any more of your whereabouts?'

'I've no connection to my body, how the heck would I do that?'

Her derisive snort came clearly through the link. 'Well, you are a Jedi. Thought about trying some Force powers?'

Hmph. Smug little princess. I hated when she was right. 'I'll try, and I'll listen for another call later. Please, Bastila, promise me...'

'What?'

'Promise you will deliver me from this torment. I'm not asking you to save my life, but to end the agony. Promise!'

Shocked silence, then more lava.

I listened to my friend, counselor, and sister. Meditation stilled my mind, opening it, and I extended mental perception. I could sense other minds, thousands, millions. The noise was overwhelming. I listened and filtered, practiced refining the perception, shielding myself from unwanted signals. Eventually, I learned to differentiate the type and proximity of some minds, probably other humans. Fearing detection, I avoided Jedi minds, which might have provided good information. I focused instead on ordinary minds nearby, and weaseled my way into their consciousnesses, passive, listening. The rush of normal thought is not particularly clear, but I gradually gleaned information, mostly place names. Nobody thought about the planet they were on. They were all locals tending equipment - include me in that equipment list - and they were absorbed in their own lives. I memorized what I could between the times of agony. The red agony was even worse because I was opened to it by the reconnaissance efforts. But I paid the price, looking to the end.

Knock, knock.

'Who's there?"

Asperity. 'Bastila. You were expecting someone else?'

'Bide a moment....there. I found our bond. I've been busy, listening to a lot of minds. You nearly got lost in the shuffle.'

'It's about time you got to work.'

'Funny woman. Here are some local place names. Run them through a locator, see if you can...'

'Yes, Fiala, we KNOW what to do. Give us the names'

I ran through my memorized list. Silence. I waited patiently, knowing it might take quite a while. It didn't take much time at all.

'Telos! Fiala, Carth recognizes some of the names. You're on Telos!'

'Tell Carth I don't much like it so far.'

Laughter. 'He said you must be OK if you can be a smartass. His words, not mine. The Sith must have worked their way into the reconstruction efforts on Telos, counting on the confusion of the populace to build themselves a stronghold, undetected.'

'Bastila, they were all in Republic uniforms. That's how they...'

Agony again.

I finally thought to explore the agony itself. I practiced walling off the pain, ignoring it, and reaching out through the power flow to the mind that called it up. Some of the minds were near and some were very far. The Sith must have developed either a method or some equipment which would allow them to tap their external Force sources from a distance. I could also tell that other sources contributed to the stream entering the caller. Tracing the flows back, I found more captives. Their minds were closed to me, but I sensed their proximity in space. It seemed we were all in one complex. I think there were dozens of us. No wonder the ranks of Jedi were thinning. They were all going to be Force generators for the Sith.

As I practiced riding the pain, I was able to distinguish more about the use and the user of the force. I stilled my mind and remained passive to avoid detection, and finally ventured into the Dark Jedi minds calling for the power. It was like swimming in sewage, but I did it every single time. I tried remaining there after the flow was cut off, but was unable to. I was tied to the flow of the Force. But I became very, very good at spying on the Dark Jedi.

"Fiala."

"Bastila."

"How are you doing?"

"Tired of being disembodied. Any news?"

"We're coming soon. We know your general vicinity. We're getting it narrowed down before we..."

More agony, then silence.

Gods, but I was tired of the pain.