Chapter 12: Acrophobia
'Why don't they ever put railings on these bridges?' I griped as we landed, 'you'd think there would be galactic safety laws or something.'
'This station is practically self-contained. There are only two sentients on it. That's why it's such a good target. But they don't need a lot of safety gear for droids. I guess they expect that most sentients aren't going to stroll right off the edge of the bridge,' said Carth.
'I know, I just don't like this whole setup. I mean, look at this layout. A landing platform surrounded by mountains, connected by a narrow bridge to this power complex. What a nightmare! Ships could be on top of us before we'd see them. There's only one path in or out of the place. Someone blows the bridge, we're cut off. I don't like it one bit.'
'If we were fighting an army here, I'd agree, but this is a quick strike to disable the facility. Hopefully, we won't even see the two sentients manning the station. Let's get this done quickly and get back out. No muss, no bother, no bloodshed.' I nodded and readied my gear. Like Carth said, this wasn't a major action, and we were going in with a small team, lightly equipped for battle, heavily equipped for demolitions. Since it was a small team, the mission planners thought it would be wise to include a fighting Jedi. We Jedi are handy in so many ways.
We crossed the chasm on the narrow bridge. I prudently stuck to dead center. Unfortunately, my good sense didn't go unremarked.
'You wouldn't be afraid of heights, would you?' muttered Carth as we trotted toward the station.
'Of course not. Not irrationally, anyway. I mean, heights are dangerous. Falls can kill you. It's only sensible to fear them. No point in inviting death by taking stupid chances.'
'Right, right,' Carth snickered, 'Wait until I tell the rest of the guys about this. An acrophobic Jedi.'
'I'm not acrophobic, I'm practical. There's no need to tell anyone about common sense. We're here, now no more chatter.' I wrinkled my nose at him. He grinned. He'd been a lot more friendly since I was attacked, and I was finding it easy to relax into our old, bantering Ebon Hawk relationship. It felt good to have a friend. I hadn't realized how lonely I'd been for the past year. And being with Carth, on one final mission, was a bonus I hadn't expected. It made going out a lot easier. And much harder.
I disabled the locks, and we were in the door. Our comm units had the map of the station loaded. My assignment was simple. I was to accompany the demolition team to their target area, dump the demo gear I carried, make my way to the pinch point corridor leading to the sentient residence, and defend it if the two techs happened to come along. I glided along the corridors, frying cameras as I went. There were no defenses, automated or otherwise.
I reached my assigned station and had a look around. There were a couple of rooms off the corridor. I entered one, leaving it dark with the door open so I could see into the lit corridor. I waited as the minutes of the mission plan ticked away, listening to the occasional communication indicating all was on course. It sounded like we would be leaving in a minute or two. We'd be well away before the real fireworks started. Piece of cake.
I heard footsteps, trotting footsteps. A whole lot of footsteps, far more than two bipeds could make. None of my team should be nearby. I peeked down the empty hallway and ducked back into my little room. I could feel people powerful in the Force approaching. I hit my comm.
'Ambush, half a dozen, maybe more, including Dark Jedi. I can buy you a couple of minutes. Hurry up and get out.'
'Negative,' Carth's voice responded, 'Don't tackle them solo. There may be more. Whole team regroup at rally point A for an ordered retreat.'
I turned off the comm unit and stepped into the corridor just as the enemy force turned the corner and saw me. I faced them, waiting, both light sabers flaring. I counted five Dark Jedi and at least that number of Sith soldiers. My heart sank. I'd never handled more than a couple of Jedi alone. But the narrow corridor would help limit their field of attack.
They didn't waste time talking.
A pair of grenades clanked to the ground near me. I Pushed them right back into the crowd, where they detonated, stunning a couple of soldiers, and one of the Jedi. I laid a Stasis field on the corridor and caught a few with it, then threw both light sabers, flipped on my shield and comm unit so the others could hear the battle and know they needed to get out. One of the stunned soldiers went down. I ducked blaster fire and caught my sabers as they returned, Suppressing a couple of Force attacks from the Jedi. The corridor restricted the number directly encountering me to two or three, depending on weapons. One of the soldiers leaped forward, swinging two vibroblades. He looked like he knew how to use them. I advanced to meet him.
What a swordsman he was! I wish I could have bought him a drink in some low spaceport cantina, where we could have swapped lies and compared swordsmasters. We fought the same way, two handed, and were evenly paired, blow for blow, parry for parry, bind for bind. His battle grin matched my own. It was as much fun as dancing. The rest of his party stopped to watch us duel. I couldn't blame them. They wouldn't see two such battles in a lifetime. We advanced and retreated for some minutes, jarring each other with our blows, both dripping sweat. He was pretty cute, too. Not that I noticed.
Then a female voice intruded from the rear, 'You're not spectators, you idiots! Attack!'
My opponent cried 'No!' as a dark Jedi joined the fray. I parried her thrust with my left blade and one of his with my right, but that allowed his right hand blade a free backhanded swing. The front of my right thigh itched and I heard his blade grate on bone as I disarmed my Jedi opponent and impaled her through the base of the throat. I was wide open for a vibroblade thrust and expected one while I killed the Jedi, but it didn't come. I turned back to my swordsman and saw his face drenched in blood. He was blinking, trying to clear the sticky stuff from his eyes, as I decapitated him.
My right leg buckled and I realized it was the source of the fountain of blood that had distracted my opponent. I wasn't going to last long leaking like that. I sent a Wave of Force down the corridor, knocking them all down, stunning some. I took the few seconds respite to frantically Heal my leg, trying to stop the bleeding. I also re-energized my shields. I was going to need them.
They were up and advancing by then. I counted seven still on their feet. This was bad. I threw a stasis field and one saber, and saw one Jedi and two more soldiers go down. That left three Jedi and one soldier, and I was weakening fast, still bleeding. A Jedi Choked me, another tried to Poison me, and a third ran forward with a drawn lightsaber. I Suppressed the Force attacks, deflecting blaster bolts from the remaining soldier back at the Jedi. I wasn't going to kill the shooter as long as he was feeding me energy to attack with. I was still dripping sweat, panting. I couldn't stand on my right leg, so I was down on that knee as the Jedi advanced with their sabers. It was just a matter of time. No sense holding anything back. I Pushed them all again, trying to stun them. It failed, barely knocking them back. Then I heard blaster fire behind me, and saw it blaze past me as grenades arced into their midst.
I collapsed onto hands and knees, and felt a familiar Choking sensation. My Suppress had no effect. I felt my hands let go of my saber hilts as the lights dimmed, flickered, and went out.
'...not gonna die until we've had this out, woman,' somebody was saying roughly. I was preoccupied with a growing feeling of oxygen deprivation. I was turned onto my back, felt fingers at my neck, a hand on my chest. Carth swore, then tilted my head back. He was pinching my nose when my diaphragm finally kicked in, and I drew a great, whooping breath. I lay gasping, enjoying the oxygen. I grew aware of kolto shots, of hands on me, checking for injuries, accompanied the entire time by a monologue in a low, angry voice. 'I know everything, everything you tried to hide. I have a lot to say to you and want a lot of answers, and you're not leaving until I get them.' Then, louder, 'Jenkins! I need your med kits.'
'I gave you what I had, Commander. We didn't come equipped for....'
'Give me your stims, then, I've got to get her up and moving so we can get out.'
'They've just about cleared an escape corridor for us, sir. We'll need to get out fast. Leave Darth Revan to her own kind. Let the Sith take care of her.'
The hands stopped for a second, then Carth growled, 'We're gonna have us a little talk first thing tomorrow, Jenkins. Now, make yourself useful and pick up her weapons while I get her ready to move.' I chuckled weakly, wishing I could be a cleaning droid in the room for that chat.
'Good morning, sleepyhead, time to get up.' Get up? I couldn't even open my eyes. I heard another hypo. I managed to get my head to roll from side to side. That didn't help any, but I was pretty proud of the accomplishment. I tried to talk, but only a few small sounds made it out. Get up? Not happening.
'Come on, Fi, get with the program.'
I heard a couple of slaps and felt my head jar, but didn't feel the sting of the blows. Perhaps I wouldn't make it through this little adventure. But would that be so bad, compared to the alternative? Carth checked my leg and let fly a couple of phrases that would have made his mama blush. I took notes, they were so good.
I heard ripping cloth and felt him binding something tight around my leg where the vibroblade had hit. That pain got through. I spasmed weakly and moaned.
'Sorry, Fi, but I've got to get this bleeding stopped. Shit, you're not walking anywhere with this leg.'
'I'm...sorry....too...Carth. For everything.' I hoped he would remember my words after I was gone, understand what I meant.
'You should be.' He seemed to be tying my legs together for some reason. 'You've been an idiot. You trying suicide by Sith now?'
'Please...Carth...let me...go." How much cleaner it would be to die protecting him, rather than being mindwiped by the Jedi again.
'What? No way, sister. You're not wriggling out of an argument this easily. You're not badly hurt; you've just lost a lot of blood.'
'I...love...you. Forgive...me. '
'I'm not forgiving you. You have a lot of explaining to do.'
'At least...kiss me...once...before I...die.' That got his attention.
Carth paused, bent down, brought his face near mine, slid his arms underneath me. I could feel his warm breath on my mouth. My heart was pounding hard from more than blood loss. He turned his face to the side, slid his cheek past mine, put his lips near my ear and said, 'You want it? You're gonna have to live for it.'
Aggravating man. I slitted my eyes open. 'You...better...hope...I...don't...make...it... flyboy.' Gods, but he made me want to live. Maybe I could work harder, skip the mindwipe.
'That sounds more like my Fiala.' He stayed where he was, holding me.
'Sir, the path back to the ship is clear, and we're the last out. We need to go now.'
I was raised part way off the ground by the front of my robe and dragged across the floor. My head lolled helplessly. 'Fi, lock your knees, it'll help me out.' I was hauled up against a wall into a near standing position. My left knee locked, but the right leg wasn't working, and it tried to buckle. Good thing he'd tied them together. I fell forward from the waist, but instead of hitting the floor, was slung upside down over a shoulder. That hurt, a lot. I wanted to scream, but didn't have enough energy to produce more than a wailing moan as I was jounced around. 'Sorry,' Carth gasped as he ran. I heard blaster fire and assumed Jenkins was covering our retreat. I tried opening my eyes, but the upside down, rocking view was nauseating.
We stopped, and Carth leaned against a wall, panting. I was groaning with every breath, unable to stop. "Hang on, Fi. You'll be OK. We'll be back at the Hawk soon," Carth gasped. I heard more footsteps as Jenkins caught up, then came whirring and a swooping feeling. We must be in an elevator. The stim shots or kolto were kicking in, because I felt a little better and was able to reach the Force. I extended my awareness into my companions, found blaster wounds blazing along Jenkins' ribs, and some slashes and aches and pains in Carth. I found the stillness within that let me bend the Force to my will and reached out, soothing the hurts, replenishing energy in Carth and Jenkins - and myself, of course.
'Hey!' exclaimed Jenkins, 'What the - -'
Carth chuckled. 'Now you see why Jedi are so handy to have along on a mission, kid.' More sharply, 'Fi, save your strength for yourself. You need it. You're gonna be in a kolto tank quite awhile as it is.'
'Not a chance.... flyboy,' I gasped, 'Jenkins is...my rearguard. You're...my bantha. Need you...both healthy.'
Jenkins' snicker terminated quickly. I could only imagine the look he got from Carth. The elevator slowed and I felt Carth tense. 'I'm gonna move out as quick as I can - cover us, Jenks.' We were in motion again as soon as the doors slid open. The pain escalated as the jouncing went on and on. I felt sunlight and realized we were outside and heading toward the ship. My heart leapt. We might make it out of this yet. I heard blaster fire from all directions and struggled to open my eyes and look around. I could see an upside-down Jenkins firing beside us. The ship's guns sounded ahead of us, laying down cover fire. We were on the bridge. Then I heard a 'clink' and saw a small sphere on the ground by Carth's feet. Damn! I tried to wrap us all in the Force, threw my arms in front of my face and shouted 'gre-' but it went off before I could even get the word out.
Everything was silent as I drifted through the air, then hit the ground with a thump. I caught a glimpse of Carth and Jenkins sprawled on the ground, motionless. Carth! I slid for a second, then felt nothing but air and saw the bottom of the bridge rushing away. Instantly, reflexively, before I even understood I was falling, I reached out and Pulled with the Force, willing myself back up on the bridge. But I was nearly depleted, and couldn't pull myself up. Heck, I couldn't even break my fall. The bottom of the chasm did that.
This is a very mean cliffhanger. I'm really enjoying this story. You've done a good job with it.
Keep going!!!!! I love this, great job on the plot.
More! More! I can't get enough of it!
WOW! I love the humanity in this (not to mention the excellent basic language skills); more, please!
I've been reading your story and and have decided to leave some feedback on what I've read so far. All of which is of course just my opinion. This could be long...
First off, I generally like this story. While I tend to find stories written in 1st person kinda weird, it works OK here.
One of the things I like is how you have the bond actually mean something in the form of the feedback sequences - both in the first chapter and later. Too often the implications of the bond gets ignored by authors.
It is a nice touch to see Fiala struggle with the realization that she is still Revan. It makes sense that she fears that she may endanger the rest of the crew and especially Carth if she lose control. Also I like the scene where she re-tells her battle with Malak, not least the part about her having to believe in redemption.
I'm curious as to why Juhani and Jolee - both Jedi - does not notice anything amiss with Fiala? Given her behavior should they not be very worried about her?
Why are they surprised when she flees?
I like the idea of having Fiala meet her 'programmer' and the whole discussion about how Fiala was 'made'. That is a very nice way of delving into her past without it becoming contrived. Interesting that Fiala consider herself blameless for Revan's actions. Defiance of Revan makes for an interesting and believable motivation for Fiala.
The idea of having her attacked by the first assassin right on Kashyyyk works, but why does neither Vrook nor Veera sense anything wrong about Bren?
The idea of Fiala wanting to be mind-wiped voluntarily has merit. However, I cannot see the Jedi agree to this under *any* circumstances. Ethically it was bad enough when her mind was damaged after Malak's attack. But mind-wipe is death of personality and so not very different from murder which is what I cannot see the Jedi agree to.
Interesting how trouble keep following her around, even on Carth's ship. Having Carth blackmail her into joining the mission was amusing. I like the idea of them having a sort of joint ownership of HK-47, even though I'm not sure it could actually be done without confusing the droid. I mean, whose order to follow if they are giving conflicting ones?
The raid works, though I think that frying security cameras as she go would actually attract attention, not avoid it. I'm surprised she is conscious long enough to actually talk to Carth after suffering that kind of leg wound where her blood sprays her opponent in the face. But then again, no wonder she cannot pull herself back to the bridge at the cliff hanger.
All that aside, I have noticed a couple of places where the consistency is off or the plot-points are a bit jarring: The first is in chapter 8 where Fiala is told to go on vacation. I can see the plot-point (she goes to see Bastila), but it doesn't strike me as something the Jedi would do. Especially the way she is practically thrown out of the Jedi complex seem contrived.
The second, and most jarring, is in chapter 9. Now, I can see the plot-point in allowing Fiala to think about the previous night and afterward talk with Carth. However, in earlier chapters we are told how assassins stalk her even in the Jedi complex so that she need HK-47 with her at all times. In that light, I simply cannot believe that the Jedi or the Republic would be boneheaded enough to put her and the rest of the crew on an unshielded platform. Maybe this could work at a crowded reception where some assassin could get close, but here it is jarring and does not work.
The third is when Fiala is attacked by the Sith capitol ship. The plot-point of having Fiala hold off the Sith ship until help arrive is nice. But... where did the Repulsor come from? When did it get installed? The Ebon Hawk does not have one in the game, where they are just reeled in by the Leviathan. While it isn't all that glaring it does makes the scene come off as strange.
The fourth is in chapter 11. Again, I see the plot-point in allowing Carth to worry over Fiala when she get hurt. However, I find it strange that Fiala would suddenly accept all those scars. It doesn't make much sense when she explicitly considers herself blameless for Revan's crimes in earlier chapters, so why does she suddenly seem to think she deserve those wounds?
There is also a few characterization issues.
You have Carth down well enough, but for that conversation in chapter 4. It is nice that he loves Fiala, but I simply cannot see him wanting to give up everything just for her. He does have a career in the fleet and his duties to the Republic to think about. Duty means a lot to him. At the beginning of the game its his duty to see Bastila safe, after the Leviathan its his duty to see the mission through - regardless of any feelings he might have. Also there is Dustil, whom he thought lost. His duty and Dustil both would be as important to Carth as Fiala ever would.
Speaking of Dustil - well, at least he doesn't hug Fiala. Now I can see from your fic that this is nearly one year after the Star Forge, but he seem very forgiving of Fiala, whom he know is Revan. Considering who and what Fiala was he is almost too forgiving, and having him go as far as say that he hopes he is not the cause for the falling out between Fiala and Carth strikes me as odd behavior from him.
Then there is Bastila and Canderous. I'm not sure what you are trying to do - perhaps using them to show what Fiala wants with Carth?
Even so, Bastila and Canderous are so far out of character here that they are basically unrecognizable. What you have here are really two OCs with proper names borrowed.
To start with Canderous, I find it very difficult to recognize him as being anything like the character from the game. While he isn't simply a brute (he lead armies after all), he is too nice here, too "domesticated". I simply cannot recognize the character based on what you have him say and do here. The problem is that there seem to be no reason or explanation why he is behaving so. In game he mopes about how he once turned continents to glass trying to gain honor in combat, etc., but then ended up as a small-time thug. But, once he realize who the pc is he does come around and state that he wants to be a mandalorian again and fight alongside Revan for honor. So why does he go back on all of that here?
Then we have Bastila. Here she has given up the Jedi to follow her heart? Given how dedicated to the Order Bastila is, it would take some explaining as to why she would ever leave the Order. It is not something that can simply be said in a line or two and still keep it believable. Here you have her be a romantic, trying to push Carth and Fiala together, she goes shopping, she gets along with Mission? Why has she completely forgotten that she was a Jedi? Where did all her Jedi training go? Why does she suddenly become a ninny?
All of that would require more characterization than simply a few paragraphs. Those are fairly radical changes to her personality, completely different from what is told or suggested by the game.
Having them like each other or just get along is another issue. Throughout the game some of the party members have comments on what the pc does. Canderous comments are very alike to HK-47's, and he applauds threats, violence, and outright killing. Bastila condemns such behavior and is appalled by it.
Canderous boast about killing for honor, and has no regrets about killing women and children while working for Davik. He despises the weak.
Bastila OTOH helps where she can and will applaud the pc for doing so as well.
Bastila's pacifistic Jedi ways is not something Canderous would understand or respect. Canderous' glorification of violence would repulse Bastila completely, as it would Carth and Juhani. Even Jolee does not approve of Canderous' ways in the game.
I can see you try by having Bastila overcome by the effects of the bond and then getting pregnant. This has a plausibility problem - not the bond, but the unwanted pregnancy. Given the setting, unwanted pregnancies simply aren't plausible. And also since Bastila was overcome by the bond, then why would she ever want to see Canderous again? Mortification would be the likely reaction. Having her just decide that she actually likes Canderous and then get married is very OOC.
A lot of characterization is required for this to be even remotely plausible. Again, this is not something that can be assumed or explained in a few lines or paragraphs.
Well, aside from the things noted above I generally like your story and will be seeing where you take it.
It would be bad form for me to review a review, but I'd just like to begin by saying that I think you've written Carth rather well. I find the relationship between him and Fiala to be believable and appropriate -- grim acceptance of necessity on her part, angry denial and bitterness on his.
As far as the Canderous and Bastila pairing goes, I have to admit that Jeedai has made some very good points. A little more explanation into some of these elements would help the reader to accept what is a rather marked transition from the characterisations of the game.
As for Fiala, you've done an admirable job of depicting her depression at being the former Lord of the Sith. The drug abuse, destructive relationships, masochism (refusing to heal her wounds means that the resulting pain is essentially self-inflicted, irrespective of who held the knife) and eventual suicidal tendencies all make for an excellent characterisation of someone with severe depression.
This is a topic that I have not seen addressed in such detail in many other KotOR fics and I want to applaud your decision to include it in yours. It has always seemed to me that Fiala's self-destructive reaction to discovering her past is one of the most likely outcomes from this situation. Seriously, having found out that your life is a lie and that you were actually one of history's greatest monsters, I think depression and self-loathing are the most plausible responses.
Having said that I would like to raise one point that I hope will merit consideration on your part.
I can accept that the Jedi Council would agree to a mind wipe (and if you want to write them with a slightly Machiavellian bent then by all means have at it, it's your fic after all). However I'm not clear on why Fiala would go to the trouble of requesting one. She's clearly suicidal so why hasn't she done the deed herself? I'm not suggesting that she should, but I think it would be beneficial to address the question of why she insists on "leaving the host in good repair for the next parasite" (fantastic turn of phrase by the way), rather than just kissing-the-lightsaber and being done with it. Once more, a little more depth in describing a character's motivations might be appropriate.
Anyway, as I said, you're addressing some very interesting ideas here and I hope you'll continue to do so. Great work.
Your Skill Is Impressive
I realixe this is supposed to be a roller coster for Fi but you have all of the characters going up and down within mere paragraphs. It gets kind of confusing. I still don't by Fi's longing for suicide by "mide wipe" though. It's obvious that she had wanted to be a jedi at a certain point, how could she do that if she didn't hold her own life as sacred?
lol I haven't read the other chapters yet (I'm glad there's more) but you made this very clear to understand, so I caught on relatively well. great writing!
Please, make the next chapter I am dying too know the rest.
VIOLENCE! DARTH FREAKING REVAN! KILLKILLKILL! Sorry, just hoping she goes supersaiyan*cough* powerful Jedi soon. But I do like the vulnerability and the characterization.
GoodGood job. I even like the Canderous+Bastila thing, even if it is a bit out of character for the both of them. It's more like they became different people for each other but the process by which they arrive there is missing.
Keep up the good writing!
Hey, guys, thanks for all the reviewage - I'm overwhelmed! Thank you muchly to the folks who had nice things to say. Glad you enjoy it. Thanks even more to the folks who had questions, concerns, issues, nits to pick. You're paying attention! W00+!
Serious questions deserve a response, so here ya go ('specially to Jeedai and our own golfing shark):
I don't subscribe to the notion that the Jedi are all-powerful. They cannot read minds nor sense everyone's motives automatically. They seem to be able to sense the dark side of the Force, sometimes. But look at what Palpatine got away with while surrounded by Jedi in Eps I-III! Also, not everyone is DS. Bren is an amoral, non-Force Adept human. There isn't anything of the dark side about him - he's just a conscience-free merc. And Fiala (as a whole) is a rather complicated construct. I envision the Revan underpinnings of her personality as giving her a constant, low-level DS glow, which is what Jolee reacted to on Kashyyk, if I remember correctly. So there is always something "wrong" about her, and it turns into background noise for those who know her.
Self-destruction is such a sticky issue, isn't it? I see it like this: Fiala is too weak to do the deed herself, and what is left of Revan is too strong to give up. Fiala musters enough strength to request the procedure, but that's about all she can handle. And she begins to backslide on that in this chapter, wanting to be with Carth. Sad, isn't it?
Jeedai, you give the Jedi more credit for ethical high ground than I do! I reviewed some background material on the Jedi code rather carefully before making the mind-wipe decision on their behalf. The gist of what I found was that Jedi are concerned with keeping balance in the Force and doing the right thing on a large scale, not necessarily on individual issues. They also seem to honor others' ethics - case in point, I recall a story about a Jedi who entered into an agreement with a tribe who had just killed and eaten her companion Jedi, because it was their nature and ethos to eat people. In this case, Fiala's appeal made sense to them in two ways: she was a threat to the Republic as she currently existed, and they were responsible for her situation because of what they did to create her. They were not making the decision to "kill" her, she was sacrificing herself. They were merely honoring her particular ethos. You can certainly argue (I'd post it as a forum thread rather than use review space for it because a lot of folks would have an opinion!), but I see them as creatures of expediency
HK retained loyalty to Revan through various monetary transactions that "officially" transfered his ownership, much like R2-D2 did in Ep IV. I believe he would retain his fundamental loyalty to Revan in the event of conflicts. In this case, Fiala was not worried about the issue because she planned to take one of HK's owners out of the picture in the very near future.
It was a test of sorts (which she failed, a'course). They wanted to see what she would do on her own in a situation where they could observe her - all the various festivities coming up would ensure she'd remain close and in contact with Jolee and Juhani.
Carth's comment of "shielding you beforehand would have been better strategy" was meant at a personal level, not for the platform as a whole, which probably misled you. This is an area where an author writing in first person can fail some readers. Fiala is not particularly interested in details like shielding, which would be standard in this situation. I can think of a half-dozen ways in which determined assassins could bypass shielding and can easily create a detailed plot thread in which this attempt happened - but none of it happened to Fiala, so she doesn't narrate it. I could have had somebody explain what happened after an investigation (much like Veera explained the technical details of her rebuild), but I typically find after-the-fact explanations from another character rather contrived and feared boring the reader. A technical description and explanation of an assassination attempt would detract from the main thrust of the story and be even more jarring than omitting some details, I think. As the textbooks say, the proof is left to the reader, which is going to annoy the more detailed-orented folks. Sorry - editorial decision!
I didn't assume the lack of an attempt to repel the Leviathan was a result of not having the equipment. It could be the pilot's choice not to burn up the ship's equipment fighting overwhelmingly superior force. I had no source indicating the exact equippage of the EH, and, as you pointed out, it could have been installed even if it didn't exist. *shrug*
This is a really nice point! Sadly, people aren't always logical. They sometimes say one thing and feel another. In Fiala's case, her feelings are complicated by having Revan's lizard brain swimming around in her depths. Fiala can nominally disown Revan's deeds, but still feel guilty about them. Remember, by this time she has also decided she has failed as Revan's keeper, and is feeling pretty down about it. This could easily lead to her acceptance of "punishment" for that particular crime. It isn't logical. It's human.
I agree with this in many ways, and I think Carth was precipitous for making this offer. If Fiala had accepted, it would have led to serious trouble for him personally and for their relationship as a whole. As far as being out of character - see my final comments in this post.
Dustil has short shrift in this fic. He will be explored more later if I get around to writing parts II and III. As it is, Carth warns her against believing him, and the reader knows that he was educated in the Sith Academy. Who knows what his motives are at this point? Dun dun DUNNNNN.
You guys hit one nail right on the head. Explanation of this relationship is someone else's (LONG) story, not Fiala's. She is shocked when she sees what has happened. I wanted the reader to be as stunned as she.
The really cool thing for me about KotOR is that the characters DO change in the course of the game and give indications of changing further in the future. Juhani regains the light side and struggles to remain there. Carth becomes more trusting and open (whether you want him to or not). Canderous becomes quite thoughtful and seems to be reconsidering his past very deeply. Bastila grows more flexible, less bound by the Jedi, and (in a male Revan fic) can even fall in love with Revan - VERY much against the Jedi Code. In addition, she reconciles with her mother, falls to the dark side, re-falls to the light side, helps defeat the Sith fleet in the battle of the Star Forge, and faces the prospect of losing her mother very soon. Any of these is a traumatic event; together, they could be overwhelming, even to a Jedi.
Living people change, particularly when traumatized. KotOR's ending left the fan community hanging fire to see what the results of this change would be. That is why the ff community is so rich - there were so many possible plot threads for all the characters, depending on how much each author believed the whole KotOR adventure had affected them. I considered the Bastila/Canderous pairing during the formation of this fic. While I was writing, I read athenaprime's marathon work "War and Peace"... uh.. "After the Fall" which gave a lot of focus to the B/C pairing, and I despaired of ever being able to approach it. So, frankly, I let stand the brief explanation given to Fiala, and left it to the reader to fill in the pieces of their personal transformations based on the life-shaking events of KotOR. I know this pairing has opposition among the ff community, but I like it in a lot of ways. Despite their apparent domesticity, I cannot imagine the two (or three) of them having a placid life! I'd love to explore them more... maybe in eps II and III...er.. PARTS II and III.
Thanks again,
Treppa the Hutt
One thing I forgot in my previous review:
Since you actually change the end, this fic is an AU, not a game continuation and you may want to re-categorize it as such.
Any change to the source make a story AU, no matter how small the change because it becomes a what-if based on that change.
As for the other things you mention, I’ve sent you a PM.
OOOO! This is good!
I have read every singel chapter, and I have loved every singel one :D I hope things work out between Carth and Fiala. Please write more, I am dying to know the rest! Keep up the good work!!!! ;)
ahem. I just want you to know that I signed up for this website just so I could review this and tell you that a)It's awesome and b)I can't believe you haven't updated in almost a year with a cliffhanger like this! Aaaaagh *death rattle*
Issue, Kolto wass used then, not bacta.